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How to help my brother? watch

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    Anon post because family know I use TSR.

    My brothers pushing on into his thirties and I've been worried about him for a good while now. He quite a shy character and doesn't have any confidence with women, infact I don't think he's ever had a girlfriend. Hes had trouble at work and recently started to gain weight. He has a few friends but there all beginning to get married and i think it's making him depressed. So recently, he spends all his time in his flat watching TV, making brief appearances on weekends etc.

    I haven't brought it up with him but I always try including him with things and encouraging him but I'm really unsure what else I can do? I've helped him with dating sites to no avail. I just hate seeing him so damn depressed and lonely.

    Any ideas?
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    He's 30. Leave him to his own devices. You can't make someone change and he sounds a loser for life.
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    (Original post by Mazty)
    He's 30. Leave him to his own devices. You can't make someone change and he sounds a loser for life.
    No I can't make him change but I can be supportive.
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    How old are you op?
    Also letting him know you are there for him might help him a bit but if you are 18 + try getting him out to the pub with you or round some clubs, just try and incourage him to get out a bit because he's not going to meet anyone sitting inside.
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    (Original post by Mazty)
    He's 30. Leave him to his own devices. You can't make someone change and he sounds a loser for life.
    What the Hell is wrong with you?

    He may be 30, but that doesn't mean he should simply be left to his own devices, if he doesn't need to be.

    OP, it's hard to comment without any more information. How old are you? Are you male? If you're 18+ and male, you could try and get him involved in something that the two of you can do together. Some sort of hobby etc.

    At least he's got a job, so he will be getting some social interaction.
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    u can start by introducing some girls to him, see how he responds... and yea, there are some self-help books on how to be attractive and get girls, forums are also available... also, u can take him out for clubbing, that way, he'll meet more girls hence boosting up his confidence.
    Good luck
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    (Original post by thru sun and rain)
    How old are you op?
    Also letting him know you are there for him might help him a bit but if you are 18 + try getting him out to the pub with you or round some clubs, just try and incourage him to get out a bit because he's not going to meet anyone sitting inside.

    (Original post by Teveth)
    What the Hell is wrong with you?

    He may be 30, but that doesn't mean he should simply be left to his own devices, if he doesn't need to be.

    OP, it's hard to comment without any more information. How old are you? Are you male? If you're 18+ and male, you could try and get him involved in something that the two of you can do together. Some sort of hobby etc.

    At least he's got a job, so he will be getting some social interaction.

    (Original post by southminor)
    u can start by introducing some girls to him, see how he responds... and yea, there are some self-help books on how to be attractive and get girls, forums are also available... also, u can take him out for clubbing, that way, he'll meet more girls hence boosting up his confidence.
    Good luck
    Thanks guys,

    Yeh i am male and I'll be 18 in July so clubbing sounds like something I'll definitely give a try. I was also thinking maybe try and go running with him. Maybe if he loses a bit of weight he'll be more confident?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks guys,

    Yeh i am male and I'll be 18 in July so clubbing sounds like something I'll definitely give a try. I was also thinking maybe try and go running with him. Maybe if he loses a bit of weight he'll be more confident?
    the running idea is good, or also try to get him into a gym or something?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    No I can't make him change but I can be supportive.
    Supportive of what? If he wanted to change he would have by now...
    (Original post by Teveth)
    What the Hell is wrong with you?

    He may be 30, but that doesn't mean he should simply be left to his own devices, if he doesn't need to be.

    OP, it's hard to comment without any more information. How old are you? Are you male? If you're 18+ and male, you could try and get him involved in something that the two of you can do together. Some sort of hobby etc.

    At least he's got a job, so he will be getting some social interaction.
    Nothing is wrong with me, I'm just not naive. He's 30. He would have changed by now if he wanted to.
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    (Original post by Mazty)
    Supportive of what? If he wanted to change he would have by now...

    Nothing is wrong with me, I'm just not naive. He's 30. He would have changed by now if he wanted to.
    Would you let your brother simply go into depression and say "Oh nothing I can do". He's my brother for gods sake. What if he tries killing himself or something?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Would you let your brother simply go into depression and say "Oh nothing I can do". He's my brother for gods sake. What if he tries killing himself or something?
    **** happens :dontknow:
    If he is a victim of his own inactions, not your problem.
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    Perhaps you could try talking with him, just to know exactly how he feels? It might be easier for you to help him that way. I agree with the above suggestions; take him out, go running with him, encourage him to go out as much as possible. It's really nice how you are looking out for your brother OP, but don't feel too responsible; you really can't do anything more than what you are already doing: hanging out with him and encouraging to be around people as much as possible. I really hope things work out!
 
 
 
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