Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
x Turn on thread page Beta
    • #1
    • Thread Starter

    Ah ok prepare yourself for a long post :P. Its a mixture of me asking for you opinions and voicing what i keep thinking over and over again in my head.
    I have been in a relationship now for a year and a bit, and we have spent our entire relationship as a long distance one as we both go to Uni. I go University of Kent and she goes to University of Exeter but at the Falmouth campus...so a significant distance apart from each.
    Over these recent months we haven't been able to see each other as much as I would like, as we both have a lot of work on this term and she has a job down in Falmouth at the weekends. But when I have seen her it has only be for short periods of time, for example I saw her briefly when we went up to one of our friend's uni for a weekend however I only saw her for one day. And another day we met up in London as she was up there for degree work reasons, and I got to see her for a few hours. Though the fact that I hardly get see her was getting me down a bit, I struggled through knowing I was going to see at Easter, when we both go back to our home town for a month. But last night we did a skype chat and she told me she now has to stay in Falmouth for the majority of Easter, as her job asked her if she could stay there, and she said yes.
    It got me thinking that this is what it's going to be like from now on, seeing each other for hours or a week or a day. We hardly talk properly that much anyway at the moment, like skype once a week but text most days. And next year for Uni I go abroad for my degree, so it going to prove more of a challenge to talk and visit each other. I know in the long run it is worth it because we have the best time when we are together. However when we are apart I don't really feel apart of her life and she isn't apart of mine, and it feels crap. So I am confused if it's a good idea to stick together, knowing its going to be like this for a while longer? Or separate for a while and see what happens in the future (maybe get back together when Uni is over)? Anyway I guess its life I suppose, I just wanted to get this off my chest cause it was getting me down a bit.
    Reply if you wish.

    Hey, (sorry as well for my ridiculously long reply!)
    I wanted to tell you that I know completely how you feel. My boyfriend and I have been in a long distance relationship for over 6 months of our 18 month relationship: he is at university in Vancouver. I saw him for just over 2 weeks at Christmas and his uni year finishes at the end of April so he will be back home for 4 WHOLE MONTHS )
    Obviously, my long-distance is on a slightly larger scale, but its still the same concept, we arent able to see each other for ridiculously long periods of time....we skype almost everyday and send each other facebook messages most days (texts are wayyy too expensive) but its still really hard! Several things get me through it though: I cross the dates off on my calendar, we send each other letters and little gifts, I keep myself busy but most of all I look forward to the amazing time I know we will have together!
    (Sorry I have gone off on a bit of a ramble...) Anyway my point was, it's not always perfect, and we have days when we sometimes dont have anything to say to each other or when I feel like its just not worth it BUT then I think of how good it is when we are together! If that's the same for you guys then you should just keep thinking of that...you are able to live your lives at uni without having to worry about having to spend time with each other but then get to have an amazing time when you are together. My advice would be that if the relationship is still good just keep going aiming for the times when you are together (maybe go stay in Falmouth for a few days over Easter if you can afford it?)...don't throw away something unless your relationship is being ruined by the distance.
    Surely its better to be in each other's lives just a small part of the time, rather than not at all?
    And as for the year abroad, (I will be doing one too) it honestly won't feel much different to being long distance in the same country! (apart from the time difference obv, but you get used to it )
    Hope this rather rambling and long reply has helped a little!
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: March 20, 2011
How are you feeling about your exams?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.