The Student Room Group

I don't know where else to turn.

I have no idea what the problem I'm having actually is, but I'm struggling to cope right now. I had been using the promise of leaving school in June as motivation to keep going, but I've lost sight of that, it's no longer a tangible goal.

I need to talk to someone, but there's no one. I can't talk to my parents about this, I'd like to talk to a teacher or Connexions, but they're only confidential until they're concerned for your own safety or the safety of people around you. I'm also worried that they wouldn't understand. I have a friend who could probably give advice, but she's got so many other things going on in her own life that I really don't feel I could add my own problems onto hers.

I have terrible thoughts in my head that I can't get rid of. Every day, I keep realising that I could kill myself so easily and in so many different ways. I can't get these thoughts out of my head, yesterday, I realised that I had no feelings about the prospect of dying, and I'm scared to feel like that again.

Sometimes, I think about harming other people. It's an awful thing to think, I'm very aware of that, and although I have no intention of actually acting on the thoughts, it scares me that I have them. It's so much worse to think "I could push that woman in front of the train" than to think "I could jump in front of that train".

I need to make it clear that I'm not suicidal, and that I'm not going to hurt anybody. I'm also not attention seeking. It is just too difficult to keep all this a secret any more.

Any advice would be appreciated.
Reply 1
Just talk to whoever will listen. Bottling up your worries is clearly not helping you.

If you fear a breach of confidentiality, you don't need to come clean about everything straight away, or even at all. Just make it clear that you don't feel you're coping at the moment.

Your school/college will probably have a counsellor, or you could talk to a trusted teacher. If you explain how you feel to your GP they could refer you to a psychologist or psychiatrist who could help you. And there's always the samaritans, available 24 hours a day. There is always help available, you just need the courage to accept it.
Reply 2
I don't think it is too rare to have those 'what if' thoughts. I remember watching stand up on tv where the comedian was talking about 'what if i threw my keys off this bridge'.. Can't remember who it was, so bonus points if anyone gets it!
Reply 3
Thanks for your responses :smile:

The thoughts I have aren't so much "what if", but more "I could"/"Why don't I" :frown:

The problem is that I can't really do much without telling my parents, and if I tell my parents, they probably won't be keen on me moving 200 miles away to uni. I had thought about Samaritans, but I'm not actually about to kill myself, so I'd just be taking support away from the people who really need it.
Reply 4

Original post by ZZ9
I had thought about Samaritans, but I'm not actually about to kill myself, so I'd just be taking support away from the people who really need it.

Nah, honestly, you should call them. They can't offer any advice but they'll always listen to your problems. Most people who call them aren't on the verge of taking their own life.
Reply 5
Original post by ZZ9
Thanks for your responses :smile:

The thoughts I have aren't so much "what if", but more "I could"/"Why don't I" :frown:

The problem is that I can't really do much without telling my parents, and if I tell my parents, they probably won't be keen on me moving 200 miles away to uni. I had thought about Samaritans, but I'm not actually about to kill myself, so I'd just be taking support away from the people who really need it.



I know I have had that at times before, but never acted on it or been worried about it. Also stopped totally when I was around 17/18, but if you are worried about it then you will have a lot more peace of mind if you saw someone about it. On that basis I would suggest you talk to someone, although don't be surprised if they say 'I don't quite understand'.
Reply 6
i wont say "i know how you feel" because i dont, but back in lower school i was in a similar situation, with not knowing who i could talk to. at one point i was self harming, and a friend i could trust, who was a few years older found out, and told a teacher with my say so for me, so i didnt have to.
talking through things helps drastically trust me.
the connexions people help MASSIVELY, yes there is that confidentiallity issue, but i was seeing my connexions woman from year 8 to year 13 and only had 1 issue with the confidentiality, and it got solved quickly, she realised that she shouldnt have said anything, but knew she had too...

i know july seems so far away, but it isnt, trust me. you can do this, keep going at it, and once you hit that point you have the WHOLE of summer to look forward to!

ill give as much advice, or just be someone to listen to if you ever need, just PM me [=

Quick Reply

Latest