Turn on thread page Beta
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by FunsizedKarateGeek)

    Haha never heard the classic. This one actually made me giggle :yy:
    Sorry Harbour Seal, not sure about highers, but your joke would have been funny before C4
    Ahh, I've got loads of them.

    My favourite chemistry one:

    Proton: I think I've lost an electron!
    Neutron: Are you sure?
    Proton: I'm positive!
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by twelve)
    Ahh, I've got loads of them.

    My favourite chemistry one:

    Proton: I think I've lost an electron!
    Neutron: Are you sure?
    Proton: I'm positive!
    As an avid chemistry fan, I :rofl:
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by twelve)
    But but but you can integrate tanx can't you...?

    Hmm not as good as the old classic though

    x, x^2 and e^x went to a party. x and x^2 were having a great time, but e^x sat alone. x and x^2 went to see if they could help:
    'hey, e^x, why don't you try and integrate?'
    e^x: 'I just don't think it would change anything'

    poor old e^x
    heard that one. Harbour you can integrate tan x
    (Original post by Mask Of Sanity)
    :rofl:

    Try this on for size:

    Once upon a time (1/t) pretty little Polly Nomial was strolling across a field of vectors when she came to the boundary of a singularly large matrix. Now Polly was convergent, and her mother had made it an absolute condition that she must never enter such an array without her brackets on. Polly, however, who had changed her variables that morning and was feeling particularly badly behaved, ignored this condition on the basis that it was insufficient and made her way in amongst the complex elements.

    Rows and columns closed in on her from all sides. Tangents approached her surface. She became tensor and tensor. Quite suddenly two branches of a hyperbola touched her at a single point. She oscillated violently, lost all sense of directrix, and went completely divergent. She tripped over a square root that was protruding from the erf and plunged headlong down a steep gradient. When she rounded off once more, she found herself inverted, apparently alone, in a non-Euclidean space.

    She was being watched, however. That smooth operator, Curly Pi, was lurking inner product. As his eyes devoured her curvilinear coordinates, a singular expression crossed his face. He wondered, "Was she still convergent?" He decided to integrate properly at once.

    Hearing a common fraction behind her, Polly rotated and saw Curly Pi approaching with his power series extrapolated. She could see at once by his degenerate conic and dissipative that he was bent on no good.

    "Arcsinh," she gasped.
    "Ho, ho," he said, "What a symmetric little asymptote you have. I can see your angles have lots of secs."
    "Oh sir," she protested, "Keep away from me. I haven't got my brackets on."
    "Calm yourself, my dear," said our suave operator, "your fears are purely imaginary."
    "I, I," she thought, "perhaps he's not normal but homologous."

    "What order are you?" the brute demanded.
    "Seventeen," replied Polly.
    Curly leered. "I suppose you've never been operated on."
    "Of course not," Polly replied quite properly, "I'm absolutely convergent."
    "Come, come," said Curly, "let's go to a decimal place I know and I'll take you to the limit."
    "Never," gasped Polly.

    "Abscissa," he swore, using the vilest oath he knew. His patience was gone. Coshing her over the coefficient with a log until she was powerless, Curly removed her discontinuities. He stared at her significant places, and began smoothing out her points of inflection. Poor Polly. The algorithmic method was now her only hope. She felt his digits tending to her asymptotic limit. Her convergence would soon be gone forever.

    There was no mercy, for Curly was a Heaviside operator. Curly's radius squared itself; Polly's loci quivered. He integrated by parts. He integrated by partial fractions. After he cofactored, he performed Runge-Kutta on her. The complex beast even went all the way around and did a contour integration. What an indignity - to be multiply connected on her first integration. Curly went on operating until he completely satisfied her hypothesis, then he exponentiated and became completely orthogonal.

    When Polly got home that night, her mother noticed that she was no longer piecewise continuous, but had been truncated in several places. But it was too late to differentiate now. As the months went by, Polly's denominator increased monotonically. Finally she went to l'Hôpital and generated a small but pathological function which left surds all over the place and drove Polly to deviation.

    The moral of our sad story is this: If you want to keep your expressions convergent, never allow them a single degree of freedom.
    wow omg! That was ****ing epic. :rofl: like wow!
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Mask Of Sanity)
    :rofl:

    Try this on for size:

    Once upon a time (1/t) pretty little Polly Nomial was strolling across a field of vectors when she came to the boundary of a singularly large matrix. Now Polly was convergent, and her mother had made it an absolute condition that she must never enter such an array without her brackets on. Polly, however, who had changed her variables that morning and was feeling particularly badly behaved, ignored this condition on the basis that it was insufficient and made her way in amongst the complex elements.

    Rows and columns closed in on her from all sides. Tangents approached her surface. She became tensor and tensor. Quite suddenly two branches of a hyperbola touched her at a single point. She oscillated violently, lost all sense of directrix, and went completely divergent. She tripped over a square root that was protruding from the erf and plunged headlong down a steep gradient. When she rounded off once more, she found herself inverted, apparently alone, in a non-Euclidean space.

    She was being watched, however. That smooth operator, Curly Pi, was lurking inner product. As his eyes devoured her curvilinear coordinates, a singular expression crossed his face. He wondered, "Was she still convergent?" He decided to integrate properly at once.

    Hearing a common fraction behind her, Polly rotated and saw Curly Pi approaching with his power series extrapolated. She could see at once by his degenerate conic and dissipative that he was bent on no good.

    "Arcsinh," she gasped.
    "Ho, ho," he said, "What a symmetric little asymptote you have. I can see your angles have lots of secs."
    "Oh sir," she protested, "Keep away from me. I haven't got my brackets on."
    "Calm yourself, my dear," said our suave operator, "your fears are purely imaginary."
    "I, I," she thought, "perhaps he's not normal but homologous."

    "What order are you?" the brute demanded.
    "Seventeen," replied Polly.
    Curly leered. "I suppose you've never been operated on."
    "Of course not," Polly replied quite properly, "I'm absolutely convergent."
    "Come, come," said Curly, "let's go to a decimal place I know and I'll take you to the limit."
    "Never," gasped Polly.

    "Abscissa," he swore, using the vilest oath he knew. His patience was gone. Coshing her over the coefficient with a log until she was powerless, Curly removed her discontinuities. He stared at her significant places, and began smoothing out her points of inflection. Poor Polly. The algorithmic method was now her only hope. She felt his digits tending to her asymptotic limit. Her convergence would soon be gone forever.

    There was no mercy, for Curly was a Heaviside operator. Curly's radius squared itself; Polly's loci quivered. He integrated by parts. He integrated by partial fractions. After he cofactored, he performed Runge-Kutta on her. The complex beast even went all the way around and did a contour integration. What an indignity - to be multiply connected on her first integration. Curly went on operating until he completely satisfied her hypothesis, then he exponentiated and became completely orthogonal.

    When Polly got home that night, her mother noticed that she was no longer piecewise continuous, but had been truncated in several places. But it was too late to differentiate now. As the months went by, Polly's denominator increased monotonically. Finally she went to l'Hôpital and generated a small but pathological function which left surds all over the place and drove Polly to deviation.

    The moral of our sad story is this: If you want to keep your expressions convergent, never allow them a single degree of freedom.
    LOOOL You da mann :adore:
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Mask Of Sanity)
    :rofl:
    Is it okay that I don't understand that thing? :puppyeyes:

    :ashamed:
    :getmecoat:
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by futuredoc77)
    Is it okay that I don't understand that thing? :puppyeyes:

    :ashamed:
    :getmecoat:
    :zomg: no, no it isn't at all! :shocked:
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by dmz)
    :zomg: no, no it isn't at all! :shocked:
    No, I meant I don't get any of the maths parts :facepalm:

    I've never learned about directrix :no: and have only done beginner level Matrices :sadnod:
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by futuredoc77)
    No, I meant I don't get any of the maths parts :facepalm:

    I've never learned about directrix :no: and have only done beginner level Matrices :sadnod:
    huh? lol i dont understand any of that, but i could make out the innuendos from most of it
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by dmz)
    huh? lol i dont understand any of that, but i could make out the innuendos from most of it
    No the story is funny (:rofl:) but it'll be much much funnier if we actually understood all of those terms :sigh:
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by dmz)
    wow omg! That was ****ing epic. :rofl: like wow!
    (Original post by FunsizedKarateGeek)
    LOOOL You da mann :adore:
    (Original post by futuredoc77)
    Is it okay that I don't understand that thing? :puppyeyes:

    :ashamed:
    :getmecoat:
    My A-level Maths teacher showed me that. It's pretty epic. :rofl:

    It is a lot funnier apparently when you understand it all though. I showed a friend of mine it and being an engineering graduate he understood it all, and also said it's entirely mathematically correct. :laugh:
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Mask Of Sanity)
    My A-level Maths teacher showed me that. It's pretty epic. :rofl:

    It is a lot funnier apparently when you understand it all though. I showed a friend of mine it and being an engineering graduate he understood it all, and also said it's entirely mathematically correct. :laugh:
    I bet it is. :sigh:
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by futuredoc77)
    I bet it is. :sigh:
    Times like this really do make me wish I wanted to do engineering. :sigh:
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Mask Of Sanity)
    Times like this really do make me wish I wanted to do engineering. :sigh:
    Or a degree in Mathematics for that matter :fyi:

    :sigh:
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by futuredoc77)
    I bet it is. :sigh:
    :lies:



    :aetsch:
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    Just kidding, futie. You know you iz my blood.

    :sly:
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by firestar101)
    :lies:



    :aetsch:
    :unimpressed:
    (Original post by firestar101)
    Just kidding, futie. You know you iz my blood.

    :sly:
    :lol:

    :flutter:
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by futuredoc77)
    Or a degree in Mathematics for that matter :fyi:

    :sigh:
    Engineering for me kiddo. :ahee:
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Mask Of Sanity)
    Times like this really do make me wish I wanted to do engineering. :sigh:
    I think i've undermined how hard my degree will be, and obvs engineering would be much more fun than maths
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by dmz)
    I think i've undermined how hard my degree will be, and obvs engineering would be much more fun than maths
    That depends really what you want from it. I expect great things from you marmalade. :holmes:
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Mask Of Sanity)
    Engineering for me kiddo. :ahee:
    (Original post by dmz)
    I think i've undermined how hard my degree will be, and obvs engineering would be much more fun than maths
    :zomg: Why? Engineering is basically mechanics, but not as well explained :teehee:

    Maths on the other hand :sogood:
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: August 20, 2012
The home of Results and Clearing

3,194

people online now

1,567,000

students helped last year

University open days

  1. Sheffield Hallam University
    City Campus Undergraduate
    Tue, 21 Aug '18
  2. Bournemouth University
    Clearing Open Day Undergraduate
    Wed, 22 Aug '18
  3. University of Buckingham
    Postgraduate Open Evening Postgraduate
    Thu, 23 Aug '18
Poll
How are you feeling about GCSE results day?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.