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relationships+ UNI decisions :/ watch

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    If its meant to be, your relationship will work wherever you both end up! My advice though, do it for yourself, not for your boyfriend!
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    (Original post by Neil_K)
    How so?

    Look all around you and observe the spectacular failure of marriage and monogamy.
    Look around and you see less 'open' relationships working.

    Being stupid must be fun, bless (:
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    I know a few people making LDRs at uni work (where they get used to being together at home in between) and one of my mates is dating a guy who's got a rep as a complete lad, but they've been together a year now, long distance in term time, so yeah, it can work. Just don't, don't change your uni or whatever for him.

    After uni, I'll be going back to London for a PGCE, probably, which tears me up, cos my bf will be going to Portsmouth to work, but we made these decisions on what's best for ourselves, because if it can work out, then we will make it.

    So yeah, best of luck.
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    (Original post by Tommyjw)
    Look around and you see less 'open' relationships working.

    Being stupid must be fun, bless (:
    Why the personal insult? Why not just disagree with my comment(s), but leave personal insults out of it?

    I don't mind having a friendly, philosophical discussion with people. Even if I strongly disagree with someone's opinion, I never personally insult them.

    So that says a lot about your character and who you are if you feel the need to hurl personal insults at me just because you disagree with my opinion.

    So if you wish to engage in a philosophical discussion with me, do so....but leave personal insults out of it. I show people that courtesy when debating with them....and I expect the same courtesy in return.

    So to get back on topic.....I disagree about less open relationships working. To me, the definition of an open relationship is a relationship where both parties are COMPLETELY OPEN AND HONEST about EVERYTHING with each other. Those are the relationships that work best....regardless of whether the relationship is labelled as 'monogamous' or 'non-monogamous'.

    When it comes to monogamous relationships, I see the following negative traits all the time....jealousy, possessiveness, cheating, resentment, boredom, routine, lack of spark, controlling, etc.

    I almost NEVER see any of these traits in open/non-monogamous relationships.

    Each to their own, though. I'm not against monogamy. If people can get it to work for them and they are happy, power to them.
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    Bf’s are not for ever but the career is. I did the mistake of sacrificing my education/career and started working just to support his education. Today, he is happily married to someone else and fathered a daughter, with the big fat salary and I am still struggling to settle in life, being single. Though, I am happy for him, it hurts when I realize that I could have had a better life, had I concentrated on my career. It’s never too late, and here I am, starting PGCE this September.
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    (Original post by amoghars)
    Bf’s are not for ever but the career is. I did the mistake of sacrificing my education/career and started working just to support his education. Today, he is happily married to someone else and fathered a daughter, with the big fat salary and I am still struggling to settle in life, being single. Though, I am happy for him, it hurts when I realize that I could have had a better life, had I concentrated on my career. It’s never too late, and here I am, starting PGCE this September.
    OP you should be taking this advice (oh and good luck with your PGCE by the way, amoghars!)

    I'm in a similar-ish position myself - I'm about to start my second attempt at University in September (to cut a long story short, been at Greenwich for three years and it's not worked out - going elsewhere to start again). My boyfriend is graduating this year and will be looking for a job, so while I'm still studying he'll be working. Seen as we're used to seeing each other a lot, being in the same area and on the same campus it'll be quite a change, which I'm a little nervous about :/

    I think tbh you need to discuss it, how it's going to work and whether you can handle it. If your relationship is strong then there is no reason for it not to succeed. I've known many people break up in the first month or so of first year and it is a risk. Uni changes people so much - I'm not the same person I was when I left college for sure! And as people live alone, they get more independent, more confident and obviously that can impact on their current relationship. It's just something you have to be aware of.

    But like it's already been said, DON'T give up your Uni/career dream for your boyfriend, because you may well regret it later. You might be part of a couple, but you have to be allowed to follow your ambitions too. It's an impossible situation which only you can make, but don't make a decision you regret.
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    A university decision is generally a one time thing. Not all the time but, usually at this point in yourself.

    Like many in this situation and I was myself at one point, just thought about where I wanted to go, to get the best education and so on. Relationships when young don't last forever, usually and if something goes wrong, you might certainly regret not going where you wanted.

    =/
 
 
 
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