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But shes engaged! (long read) Watch

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    (Original post by undermyskin)
    Your not forcing her, your letting her decide in her own time. She can't keep playing you. Also the sooner you try to move away from someone the easier it is to forget them.
    Shes my best friend and the only person to ever say that she loved me.
    I honestly don't think I could do it.
    Besides, I have to be there in case it does fall apart and she needs a shoulder to cry on.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ill think about it, thanks.
    It would be very hard.
    I get unhappy if we don't talk for one day.
    Encouraging her to be emotionally unfaithful is only going to hurt her in the end. Also, it's worth considering if she makes herself emotionally available while engaged to you, then she would make herself available to other guys if you even get together.
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    (Original post by MovingOn)
    Encouraging her to be emotionally unfaithful is only going to hurt her in the end. Also, it's worth considering if she makes herself emotionally available while engaged to you, then she would make herself available to other guys if you even get together.
    Thanks, Ill have to think long and hard on this.
    Its tricky
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Sadly not.
    We tried to but various things like exams and money got in the way.
    What if she has a moustache?
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    You have to wait it out OP.

    It's not your place to encourage her to leave her fiance - if she does, and you and her live happily ever-after, then great. But do you really wanna be 'that guy'. 'That guy' who stole some guy's fiance? Of course you don't.

    It's a head****, but a hands-off approach is the best course of action for you, just let whatever happens, happen.
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    Don't be a loser kid, OP.
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    (Original post by archlord destin)
    Excuse me, Im going to leap to the OP's defense here and try to dispel some truths
    What you fail to understand (and theres alot of other ignorant people with you) is that just because they met online, doesn't mean she isn't real person.
    She is a human being behind that computer screen.
    Apparently, she also lives within driving distance and they have apparently been through a lot together so shes been a better friend to him than most of my "real" friends.

    Down ranked for ignorance.
    Feel free to thumbs down for making valid points.


    @OP: Its a strange situation, Id just see how it plays out and carry on being the guy she likes enough to fall for.
    Dont worry about sex, if she knows your a virgin, she'll be understanding.
    But whilst he is placing a lot of importance on this relationship over the internet, she is actully, physically in relationship with someone. She is engaged. Therefore, it's not really a relationship of equal interest between the two of them, is it?
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    Kinda feel sorry for the guy she's engaged to!! However I can understand things from her point of view.
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    Does she live in the same country?

    I have first hand experience of this. I know what it's like to get attached to someone you have never met, feel like you're in love even. Especially if you've never really had a lot of experience with relationships before. BUT people are different online to real life, what we like about online relationships is that to an extent we can be who we want to be, in the comfort of our own rooms. In "real life" it's very different. What I can tell you is that this isn't "real" love. You may care about her, love her in a way, but not "in" love. That can only be achieved through being with a person, knowing them inside out, which you cannot get from a computer.

    I hate to say it, but the fact she's engaged, means something will most likely never happen. She probably doesn't realistically want to leave him, it's just a dream. My advice is, if it's possible, meet her. Then you will know for sure. If she lives too far to, or she won't, then forget it. Move on, and stop talking to her. Try and find someone in "real life" because I guarantee you will be happier.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    You know shes a real person right?
    I do know her real name, address and stuff.
    What we do is essentially the same as talking on the phone.
    I guess phones are for "awful deipnosophists who have no people skills" too?

    Can't tell if your trolling but I hope you are, for your sakes.
    I'm not trolling, in all seriousness now.

    The evidence behind my argument is based on Albert Mahrabian's communications theory, starting with a short extract from http://www.businessballs.com/mehrabi...unications.htm :

    "Here is a more precise (and necessarily detailed) representation of Mehrabian's findings than is typically cited or applied:

    * 7% of message pertaining to feelings and attitudes is in the words that are spoken.
    * 38% of message pertaining to feelings and attitudes is paralinguistic (the way that the words are said).
    * 55% of message pertaining to feelings and attitudes is in facial expression."

    I will start by saying, the only point of communication you have with each other is the words you speak....sorry, *type. According to Mehrabian's theory, you are only communicating using a maximum of 7% of your total communication capabilities.

    I would be scared if you didn't know her real name, address is a bit weird though.

    Regarding your statement that "What we do is essentially the same as talking on the phone."

    This is incorrect, as people on the phone, according to Mehrabian, gain 38% (on top of your 7%) through the pitch, intonation and other aspects of their voices in communication. This totals 45% of their total communication capabilities, to your 7%. Not quite the same as talking on the phone.

    Ironically, the precise reason why you can't tell if I'm trolling or not, is because I'm only using 7% of my communication in the words that I say! If you heard me talking to you and telling you to meet up with this girl in person in order to maximise your communication methods, you would understand I'm not trolling, but trying to help you.

    Peace.
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    (Original post by *Dreaming*)
    Does she live in the same country?

    I have first hand experience of this. I know what it's like to get attached to someone you have never met, feel like you're in love even. Especially if you've never really had a lot of experience with relationships before. BUT people are different online to real life, what we like about online relationships is that to an extent we can be who we want to be, in the comfort of our own rooms. In "real life" it's very different. What I can tell you is that this isn't "real" love. You may care about her, love her in a way, but not "in" love. That can only be achieved through being with a person, knowing them inside out, which you cannot get from a computer.

    I hate to say it, but the fact she's engaged, means something will most likely never happen. She probably doesn't realistically want to leave him, it's just a dream. My advice is, if it's possible, meet her. Then you will know for sure. If she lives too far to, or she won't, then forget it. Move on, and stop talking to her. Try and find someone in "real life" because I guarantee you will be happier.
    this exactly OP listen. ^^^
 
 
 
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