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    I have been with my girlfriend for a year this month. In the beginning as with all relationships, everything was perfect. But over the last few months we have spent a whole lot more time with each other, and I'm talking nearly all day every day.

    The problem is I have now seen a different side to this girl who I once believed was perfect. In the last couple of months I have realised that she is not the quiet girl I thought she was, that she was in the first few months of our relationship.

    The relationship all started and we didn't get to see each other a great deal due to us working etc, it was a couple of hours every other day if that, and it wasn't until about six months ago we started seeing each other more or less every day. We used to spend a lot of time at my parent's house, where she was amazing, the most amazing beautiful person I have ever met. She made me happy, made me smile and made me laugh, everything. Then a few months back I started visiting her parents' home, where around her family she is very loud, and tends to be especially nasty to me in front of her family. Nasty in a way that she calls me names, bosses me around and generally makes me feel unwanted. Now, she has told me that she is only joking when she does it, and maybe I am just too boring to realise it, but I don't enjoy it, it makes me feel very unloved. Then, over the last month she has had an enjoyment to play-fighting. I don't mind the odd tickling fights, but just recently during these playfights she has punched, slapped and scratched me. Then when I show her that I don't like what she is doing, she goes off on one and gives me the silent treatment, branding me boring. Not only that, but she has done a number of things I find to be cruel to me just recently, mainly in front of her parents, but a couple of months ago we were lying in bed together, play fighting again and she decided she would give me no duvet, which is fair enough, just a bit of playing, but when it's the middle of January and the windows are wide open, I am there freezing in the middle of the night while she is next to me warm and fast asleep. She is also fairly demanding and/or gets upset if I want to do something without her. I follow a rugby team locally and have done since I was a child, and she gets very angry, and tends to argue with me when I go to a match instead of seeing her. She generally seems very ungrateful, I really don't feel like I have done anything to deserve the way I get treated, and she is the nicest girl in the world around my family, but when I am around her family I get singled out and generally bullied. I can take a bit of stick, but it's beginning to feel like being back at school. She tells me she loves me and wants to spend the rest of her life with me, but I am beginning to feel very closed in. I feel I am always desperate to try and watch what I say in case I fuel an argument and get the silent treatment for weeks. I am always worried when I go out without her in case she starts giving me the silent treatment for this. I even try to join in with the things she is enjoying that I do not, I am always nice to her, have never treated her badly and have always treated her like a princess, I always buy her things, always try and show her affection (which at times gets rejected). So I fail to see how I deserve being treated like this.

    Now, all I need to know is, am I the one in the wrong for getting upset? Should I be enjoying all of this? Is it normal? Apologies for such a long post.
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    She is in the wrong! She has no right to treat you like this, she is probably unaware that she is making you feel like this, make her realise that! Do not treat her like a princess if she is doing this, you really need to bring this up, if this doesn't work then maybe she isn't for you. You have every right to be upset.
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    Dump her or tell her that you dont like what she is doing!! Either way dont put up with it any longer, she is taking advantage of you being a decent person. There is no point in you being in a relationship which makes you miserable!
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    It is always me who ends up apologising when we argue, always me who works hard to try to repair the damage and it's only a matter of time before it kicks off again. I love this girl with all my heart, but I am fed up of being made to feel like the bad guy all the time. All I ever try to do is be nice and polite, it was the way I was brought up, and now a part of me is telling me that personality doesn't get you anywhere in life. She has openly admitted to me that I am a boring person as I don't enjoy some of the same things as me, I've tried to be more open-minded with these playfights and what not but I really don't enjoy being slapped and punched even if she is only playing.
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    It doesn't sound like you're in the wrong at all. From what you've said though, it sounds like your problem was not standing up to her so she continued with this behaviour until it got out of hand. If I were you I'd sit down with her and tell her everything that you've posted here, make it clear that you want things to change. If after that she still acts unkindly then maybe it's time to end things.
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    (Original post by loonyplatypus)
    your problem was not standing up to her so she continued with this behaviour until it got out of hand.
    I have started to think this myself. I do feel as though I have been a bit of a pushover. If I had been invited out places and she didnt want me to go, most of the time I have given in and decided to see her instead so that we don't have an arguement. However, when she is invited out I don't try and stop her going. As a result I am starting to lose contact with friends as they are becoming sick of me constantly rejecting their offers to go out.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    It is always me who ends up apologising when we argue, always me who works hard to try to repair the damage and it's only a matter of time before it kicks off again. I love this girl with all my heart, but I am fed up of being made to feel like the bad guy all the time. All I ever try to do is be nice and polite, it was the way I was brought up, and now a part of me is telling me that personality doesn't get you anywhere in life. She has openly admitted to me that I am a boring person as I don't enjoy some of the same things as me, I've tried to be more open-minded with these playfights and what not but I really don't enjoy being slapped and punched even if she is only playing.
    Stop apologising to the whiny little cow and next time you get the childish silent treatment go and watch the rugby, preferably until she apologises. There is a chance that if she realises just once that you're not taking that crap anymore she'll learn that her behaviour is pathetic. Either way, you need someone who is way more grateful.
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    (Original post by shorty.loves.angels)
    Stop apologising to the whiny little cow and next time you get the childish silent treatment go and watch the rugby, preferably until she apologises. There is a chance that if she realises just once that you're not taking that crap anymore she'll learn that her behaviour is pathetic. Either way, you need someone who is way more grateful.
    I dare say she will break up with me if I tell her how I feel right now. But I guess it's about time I stood up for myself and stood my ground.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I dare say she will break up with me if I tell her how I feel right now. But I guess it's about time I stood up for myself and stood my ground.
    Well, if everything's exactly how you say it is, then it'd be her loss completely. I know you love her for who she can be/ was, but that doesn't mean you should put up with this for the hope that she might turn back into that person.
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    I mean this in the lightest sense possible, but you sound a little whipped man; you have to be absolutely frank with her.
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    I have spoken to her today and she is notably angry with me, I have tried telling her how I am feeling and she is still turning it against me.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have spoken to her today and she is notably angry with me, I have tried telling her how I am feeling and she is still turning it against me.
    How is she?

    Tell her she either listens and takes notice or you're walking, but in a really calm voice. Then the ball's in her court and you either get what you deserve, or she's ruined it for herself.

    I know this is much easier said than done and these things can take ages to actually do, but regardless, it really is what's needed in these situations.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have spoken to her today and she is notably angry with me, I have tried telling her how I am feeling and she is still turning it against me.
    If she won't let you talk openly to her and she won't talk back to you and discuss it then dump. Its not worth staying in a relationship you're not happy with.

    If thats just the way she is, and you don't like it, and vice versa (she thinks you're boring) don't you think it won't last anyway?
 
 
 
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