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If your partner was depressed watch

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    #1

    Would you not want to be around them??

    I stupidly went cold turkey on my anti-depressants- and now I'm feeling the consequences.

    I was meant to stay round my boyfriends this week, but he says he doesn't want me to now, because he doesn't want the hassle with me being "ill".

    Meh
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    Thats really quite horrible of him, if anything being around him would surely make him feel better? its not like its that much extra effort. Maybe suggest you could do something together that he would definitely want to do?

    feel free to pm me if you need someone to talk to
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    He sounds like a right charmer. Something similar happened to me, only it was my alleged friends who suddenly didn't want me around any more because I was depressed. If you have a friend or family member who's more sympathetic I'd recommend spending some time with them, or if that's not possible at least phone or email them.

    Cold turkey from antidepressants can be pretty nasty, if you want to get off them have you considered taking a half dose for a week, then stopping? That way it should be more manageable.

    Hope you feel better soon. :console:
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    Wow. How long have you been together? I don't want to sound mean but if my BF said that, I'd be asking where the hell it came from.
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    I would dump, I'm too good to be around that ****.

    Its unfortunate but I'm in a relationship to be happy not be around some miserable *****. I'd wish her the best recovery and be on my way.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    Wow. How long have you been together? I don't want to sound mean but if my BF said that, I'd be asking where the hell it came from.
    where what came from :confused:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    where what came from :confused:
    His attitude I presume?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    where what came from :confused:
    Sorry. Yes, his attitude and the idea that his girlfriend being ill is 'hassle'.
    • #2
    #2

    He is depressed. He has his ups and downs and I love him through all of them.
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    my girlfriend suffers from depression and id rather be with her any day of the week even on bad days when shes effing and blinding at me, screaming at me, punching my walls... your boyfriend's a ****
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    because he doesn't want the hassle with me being "ill".
    wtf :mad:
    • #3
    #3

    My boyfriend's depressed, though not on medication. I would never treat him the way your boyfriend treats you. Are you violent or anything when you go cold turkey? Because if so, that's more understandable. I suppose only you can really know if he genuinely doesn't know how to deal with your depression or if he is just being selfish.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Would you not want to be around them??

    I stupidly went cold turkey on my anti-depressants- and now I'm feeling the consequences.

    I was meant to stay round my boyfriends this week, but he says he doesn't want me to now, because he doesn't want the hassle with me being "ill".

    Meh
    I wouldn’t call it ‘stupid’ to withdraw your anti-depressants as I can appreciate that there must be many influencing factors that cause you to be frustrated with them, whether it’s the impact that side-effects have on your life or wanting to have greater self-confidence by showing that you can cope without them (not that utilising them is any reason not to be confident, but I can appreciate the possibility of self-loathing aspects of a person’s personality suggesting that it is). Nonetheless, I do think it's ill-advised and I hope you’ve decided to seek medical input on the matter and will use the help offered to bring you off them at the appropriate time and at the appropriate pace.

    With regards to your boyfriend, my instinct is to be derisive and scathing but I’m wholly unaware of the situation. Whilst I think it’s callous to regard it as hassle and curious that he doesn’t want to hold you close at a time of supreme need, I can appreciate that the stress of being anxious over your welfare or being confronted with the symptoms of depression in one he loves may have caused him to say something he doesn’t mean. Oddly and counter-intuitively, this may confirm his affections if he is feeling such a debilitating level of anxiety and pain over your suffering that he can’t bear to be near it. In my wholly anecdotal view, it seems that stress and fear make people do or say the stupidest of things.

    Naturally, that isn’t justification for it, but I can understand it somewhat more than a cruel and cold detachment in an unloving manner due to a desire to be ‘free from hassle.’ I would hope that somebody that loves you would never reduce your self-worth when you need it most by portraying you as a mere ‘burden’ (you aren't) or abandon you. Also, be careful not to give him such a rationale as an excuse, I'd allow him to state such a thing rather than suggesting it so that he can simply say 'yes.'

    I can only suggest talking to him about the matter when you’re feeling better and exploring the source of such a comment to establish whether he does want to be there for you and will be in the future. However, I would recommend focusing on your needs for the moment as I cannot imagine the draining and debilitating effects that withdrawal must be having on you. I expect that the last thing you need is to expend energy on exploring his attitude to this. I would think that you need the chance to curl up, to avoid stress, to be supported by those that love and understand the dark nature of what you’re enduring, and to recover at a pace that suits you. I don’t think it’s selfish to do that, it’s necessary to survive and rebuild. I wish you the best and hope you can overcome this quickly.
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    That's a bit of a **** attitude on his behalf. When you date someone you take them for their positives and their negatives, you can't pick and choose to only be around them during the good times. Not a solid relationship when you start doing that.
    • #4
    #4

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My boyfriend's depressed, though not on medication. I would never treat him the way your boyfriend treats you. Are you violent or anything when you go cold turkey? Because if so, that's more understandable. I suppose only you can really know if he genuinely doesn't know how to deal with your depression or if he is just being selfish.
    I kind of agree with this, if he has no idea how to handle the situation then maybe you ned to talk, but this does depend on how long you both have been together.

    My boyfriend has to deal with my moods which are volitile due to Insomnia, so not quite the same thing but the same principle. If he did what your boyfriend has done after our being together for 2 years I'd be pissed as he knew what to expect.

    Get your boyfriend to pull his socks up and be a man. If this is for the long run, he needs to be there for you and be dependable.
 
 
 
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