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My BF is uptight in bed and disgusted by my lady juices watch

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    I have a pretty high sex drive. I'm also pretty uninhibited; I love experimenting and talking openly about sex. Whatever my boyfriend wanted to do, I'd be all for it. (This excludes anything related to faeces, urine and vomit.) It's easy for me to orgasm, I'm ridiculously flexible, I squirt, I'm filthy in bed (not unhygienic!), I'm relatively experienced. I'm not trying to blow my own trumpet, I'm genuinely baffled as to what is going on. What am I doing wrong?!

    He doesn't want to do anything exciting in bed. He actually doesn't even want to have regular sex that much. In the second month of our relationship, despite seeing each other every day, we had sex 3 times. And they were brief. And I didn't orgasm. When I try to initiate sex, he pushes me away so often it's beginning to affect my self-esteem. It's not like we're really old (both 23) or really inexperienced. And apart from our sex life, the relationship is pretty good. He's an awesome guy and we get on like a house on fire and there is definitely chemistry.
    We've been together about 6 - 7 months of which the last 3 have been long-distance.

    I'm posting this now because I'm seeing him on Thursday after a month, and would really like some ideas and thoughts.

    I've tried doing different things in an attempt to seduce him. I've put on my sexiest underwear, suspenders and all, and lap-danced for him, (he was too tired) I've suggested doing it in different places, (none would be as comfy as a bed) I've asked him what his fantasies are (he's not sure) I've asked him what turns him on (it depends) I've suggested watching porn together, to help me gauge what he's into, (we will one day) I've dressed up in different random outfits (they looked hot but he just didn't feel like it those days), I've suggested soft bondage, I've tried talking dirty, I've sent him naughty pictures, I've suggested a threesome, I've tried doing it at different times of the day, I've suggested and/or tried a million different things that I can't even remember now.

    I've tried talking to him (several times now) about our sex life, with minimal response. He denied that he has any less of a sex drive than I do (which is slightly true because on occasion, he's said no to having sex with me but has put on porn less than 10 minutes after). He said that he does want to have sex a lot, and when I asked why, then, do we not, he said it was various reasons, including he couldn't be bothered sometimes. And suggested that I just try harder to get him turned on. That comment made me cry.

    He's beginning to realise that I am not satisfied. So he is making some attempt at improving things. However, when we do have sex, he makes it seem like it's a chore and he's only doing it because he doesn't want me to be unsatisfied, rather than because he just really wants to. The sex itself is of okay quality. He's rather well-endowed, but seems to think that just thrusting away is going to do the trick. It took me 2 months of gentle coaxing to get him to finger me. Foreplay has increased from non-existent to a couple of minutes maybe, and that's only just to check if I'm wet enough. Sometimes he likes to clean up mid-sex 'to make himself more comfortable'. If I'm really wet or have just squirted, he'll tell me I'm creaming up and pass me a tissue whilst looking at my bits in poorly disguised disgust. He has told me he doesn't like the smell/taste of lady juices. So he has been down on me once, to see if he still felt the same, was down there less than 5 seconds, resurfaced and looked like he was going to puke.

    I've really seriously considered that he might be gay and in denial. But he has had girlfriends before me, buys Nuts and other lads magazines, and is quite vocal and explicit about what he'd do to Scarlett Johansen. Does anyone reckon it might all just be a front?

    When we're together, he'd rather snuggle than have sex. When we're apart, I try to keep the magic alive by sending him naughty pictures, talking dirty to him down the phone, sending him explicit text messages. And the most I've got out of him in response is 'That's cool', 'Nice!' or 'Yeah sounds good we should do that when we see each other next.'

    I am really at a loss as to what to do next. Both quantity and quality are lacking. It used to just make me really frustrated, but now I am just really sad because I have a feeling that this is just what our sex life is doomed to be like. But I also really don't want to give up hope. And I'm not about to break up with him over it. Even if I tried to tone down my sex drive (which I'm trying to do currently, with minimal success), the sex would still be of average quality. Although I'm looking forward to seeing him on Thursday, part of me is also dreading it because when we are face to face, it is harder to control my desire to jump on him.

    Any ideas/thoughts/support/comments would be greatly appreciated. I just don't want to give up :'(
    • #2
    #2

    wow he sounds like a complete **** if he says stuff like your not turning me on etc. Have you tried looking through his search history to see what kinda porn he's into?
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    You sound like him, but a female version :/

    [img]http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=http://i216.photobucket.com/albums/cc277/batman4eva04/Fat*******.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.myspace.com/290083525&usg=__DqEXjHuCbLT_gRab YuovqjKj4I4=&h=377&w=429&sz=31&h l=en&start=0&zoom=1&tbnid=5fcH9_ UH-wjtDM:&tbnh=138&tbnw=181&ei=Xr6G TceFKYaBhQfB2sWwBA&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dfat%2B*******%26um% 3D1%26hl%3Den%26safe%3Doff%26sa% 3DX%26biw%3D1440%26bih%3D809%26t bs%3Disch:1,isz:m&um=1&itbs=1&ia ct=hc&vpx=658&vpy=304&dur=484&ho vh=210&hovw=240&tx=169&ty=157&oe i=Xr6GTceFKYaBhQfB2sWwBA&page=1& ndsp=30&ved=1t:429,r:11,s:0[/img]
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    I think it sounds like he's gay but prefers being in a heterosexual relation, tbh.
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    (Original post by synvilla)
    I think it sounds like he's gay but prefers being in a heterosexual relation, tbh.
    This.
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    Have you tried using a strap on? He sounds like he'd love that
    • #3
    #3

    You say you have chemistry but it certainly doesn't seem that way in the bedroom. You've got to ask yourself if you can put up with this, as you obviously enjoy your sex and are with someone who has some issues around it.

    I'm not suggesting you think that sex is the be all and end all of the relationship but healthy wants and desires for enjoyable sex with your boyfriend are natural.

    I have a high sex drive and enjoy being open and adventurous with my boyfriend and he is exactly the same. We talk about everything openly, so we know what we both like and don't like. Though we also enjoy just cuddling in bed etc.

    Is there any other way you could talk to him about it? 'cos he seems to have some issues surrounding sex with you. It seems really rude for him to pull disgusted faces etc. He'd be more of man, if he just honestly said he didn't enjoy doing that particular act and you agreed on something you both liked.
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    (Original post by a_t)
    Have you tried using a strap on? He sounds like he'd love that
    Ha!! Classy. But yeah, this. He sounds either gay or asexual. Or unattracted to you, which doesn't seem likely. Hmm.
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    Asexual?
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    He's definately gay/asexual/a douche. Any normal bloke would love to have a girlfriend that was up for it all the time and willing to try most things.

    Also, threesome :sexface:
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    Jeez, he is missing out big time, we need more girls like you
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    Take him to a sex therapist ?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    And the most I've got out of him in response is 'That's cool', 'Nice!' or 'Yeah sounds good we should do that when we see each other next.'
    Aahahahahahahahah.

    Ahahahahaha. He is gay / asexual
    • #4
    #4

    My bf loves my lady juices!

    He can't get enough
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    am pretty sure most guys here are wishing there gfs are more like u! hes gay as christmas!
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    (Original post by a_t)
    Have you tried using a strap on? He sounds like he'd love that
    This. Maybe he wants it up the arse?
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    Oh, what a lucky fool! :)
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    Shiiit, I'm really sorry. That really really sucks. He sounds like a definite douche- but remember that sexual compatibility is very important in long term relationships. It doesn't sound like you guys are sexually compatible, and to be honest you've put in so much effort for what? Rejection. I'd cut my losses and get out of there if I was you. You deserve better.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    In the second month of our relationship, despite seeing each other every day, we had sex 3 times. And they were brief. And I didn't orgasm. When I try to initiate sex, he pushes me away so often it's beginning to affect my self-esteem. It's not like we're really old (both 23) or really inexperienced. And apart from our sex life, the relationship is pretty good.
    The good news is that after only two months you understand that you two are sexually incompatible.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    He said that he does want to have sex a lot, and when I asked why, then, do we not, he said it was various reasons, including he couldn't be bothered sometimes. And suggested that I just try harder to get him turned on. That comment made me cry.

    I am really at a loss as to what to do next. Both quantity and quality are lacking. It used to just make me really frustrated, but now I am just really sad because I have a feeling that this is just what our sex life is doomed to be like. But I also really don't want to give up hope. And I'm not about to break up with him over it. Even if I tried to tone down my sex drive (which I'm trying to do currently, with minimal success), the sex would still be of average quality. Although I'm looking forward to seeing him on Thursday, part of me is also dreading it because when we are face to face, it is harder to control my desire to jump on him.
    I’m at a loss for advice as you have apparently decided to stay with him in spite of what I see as a fundamental problem in the relationship over the long term. If you feel that you can basically live without sex, then more power to you.

    Best wishes,
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    Just PM so we can meet up for some fun
 
 
 
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