My BF is uptight in bed and disgusted by my lady juices

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He's definately gay/asexual/a douche. Any normal bloke would love to have a girlfriend that was up for it all the time and willing to try most things.

Also, threesome :sexface:

Smooth CB91. Good way to get in there :smug:

nicde one though :yy.

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 21

Walter Ego

Sex is too great a part of life to waste on someone that doesn't satisfy you, has serious issues and little interest. You have bent over backwards to please him and accommodate his inhibitions and hang-ups, but I fear you are wasting your time. From what you say you have been the perfect g/f, God knows if you were mine I'd be grinding you several times a day in any way your heart desires. Where his problems lie I don't know, maybe sex was always referred to as dirty at home through childhood, maybe there's something sinister in his past that he hasn't divulged, but he needs to wake up and realise what a superb partner you have been, or you need to realise that your incompatibilities will eat away at the rest of your relationship, and it's better to move on now than prolong the inevitable.

So, these sexy pics you send him :wink:

Reply 22

Shuvel

Original post by Cicerao

Asexual?

Your signature....totally and utterly confused me.

Reply 23

silverbolt

hes either gay or asexual, i dont think that hes unnattracted to you otherwise he wouldnt be with you

Reply 24

aankhi

I don't mean this in a spiteful way, but maybe you're trying too much? Most boys enjoy the 'chase' more than the actual end, and since you seem to have tried pretty much everything, do your self esteem some good, just stop. You could either stop coaxing him, he'll wonder why you stopped, even if not verbally, or you could sometimes playfully reject his advances. Don't over-do it such that it hampers your relationship though.

My boyfriend of 2yrs does not particularly enjoy going down on me either, but he does it anyway because he loves me and wants to make me feel good. While this is not indicative of what may be the case all the time, some guys just love it and some just hate it. It doesn't mean he's gay or anything.

However, saying that YOU are not trying enough was mean. Did you let him know that you were hurt? Talk to him more about sex, the sensitive side of it (now that sounds gay, but sex isn't just physical, right?), about what each of you want.

Hope this helps, and all the best.

Reply 25

hanaalou

WOW. seems like there's been major effort on your part!!can't think of many guys who'd not enjoy a lap dance from their girlfriend :/ I don't think there's anything that you haven't tried so I don't know what to suggest!maybe ask him outright what his problem is. maybe you seem too keen and it's a bit of a turn off when someones "gagging" for it. so just ask him!good luck :smile:

Reply 26

PinkMobilePhone

Volunteer Team

I have to agree that he doesn't sound like a standard heterosexual guy to be fair. Gay or asexual are the two things that sprung to my mind, to echo what many posters have already said.
He could be gay but severely in denial perhaps? Either way, you're definitely not compatible. I mean, if he were just having an off day (or two) then fair enough, but you've been together only 2 months, and that is what is usually the "honeymoon period" - you know, the beginning part of a new relationship where you can't keep your hands off each other. So he's definitely acting strangely!

Reply 27

Arekkusu

Try turning the heat down a bit, he might be intimidated. I'd imagine it's been quite a knock to his masculinity, hence his avoidance of discussing the topic. Let him come to you, and if he doesn't, leave him.

Reply 28

*Dreaming*

You're obviously not sexually compatible, therefore maybe you should move on because it won't work in the long haul. I'm not sure what his problem is, I don't mean to be mean but maybe he doesn't find you that attractive. But I also think some of the things you are doing is a little over the top for just a 6 month relationship.

But I have to say, if he is "disgusted by your lady juices" he is no man.

Reply 29

Historiana

Christ, if you're still in the first six months of a relationship; you shouldnt be able to keep your hands off each other :/

However, when I was with my ex - the six month mark was when I realised we weren't sexually compatible and figured out that I didn't want to sleep with him. Maybe he's worked out that he's not as attracted to you as he thought? I know it sounds harsh, but sometimes things happen that way. It can take a few months to work out how you truly feel about someone.

On the other hand, from his behaviour; I'd judge him to have some kind of issue with his sexuality. Perhaps he unsure if he's straight or if he even likes the intimacy (and lets face it, often messiness) of sex?

Ask him whats going on again. If he doesn't want to talk, walk away because this relationship is clearly no good for you physically or emotionally. It'll just screw you up all the more the longer you stay in it and keep wondering how he really feels.

And I agree with the other posters - very few straight men take issue with female juices or body parts. Even fewer would turn down a woman standing in front of them in sexy lingerie. The only time my boyfriend has, was when he was watching Top Gear. Which was fair enough. He came running straight afterwards though...

Reply 30

FormerlyHistoryStudent

Maybe he's slightly intimidated by how sexual and experimental and experienced you are, and gets a bit put off because he doesn't think his sexual performance would be good enough for you? Hence, maybe, him watching porn having just rejected having sex with you. Or he could just be a bit lazy and can't be bothered to make the effort.

He does still seem a bit strange, however, to look at you in a disgusted manner and hate your 'lady juices', and the cheek of him saying you don't put in enough effort to satisfy him just takes the biscuit.

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 31

infernalcradle

dump him....

then come over here....I'll satisfy you :sexface:

Reply 32

Powerlifter

This is not right, most guys would kill for a girl with a high sex drive!

Usually it is the man trying to get things going all the time.

Conclusion: He is super gay and you need a bloke, sure there on many on here who can e-satisfy you but seriously just pop out to watch the local uni rugby team play and go join them in the showers.

Of course this is assuming you are not a super munter that looks like a bag of plastic spoons next to a hot radiator.

Reply 33

ibysaiyan

Original post by n1r4v

Aahahahahahahahah.

Ahahahahaha. He is gay / asexual

Haha I can imagine his facial expression.

OP he's blatantly a ~~guy~~ gay,likes to get it bummed.

Reply 34

FrigidSymphony

Sweetjesus****, why aren't you my girlfriend??

Reply 35

Pqwt

Original post by Anonymous

I have a pretty high sex drive. I'm also pretty uninhibited; I love experimenting and talking openly about sex. Whatever my boyfriend wanted to do, I'd be all for it. (This excludes anything related to faeces, urine and vomit.) It's easy for me to orgasm, I'm ridiculously flexible, I squirt, I'm filthy in bed (not unhygienic!), I'm relatively experienced. I'm not trying to blow my own trumpet, I'm genuinely baffled as to what is going on. What am I doing wrong?!

He doesn't want to do anything exciting in bed. He actually doesn't even want to have regular sex that much. In the second month of our relationship, despite seeing each other every day, we had sex 3 times. And they were brief. And I didn't orgasm. When I try to initiate sex, he pushes me away so often it's beginning to affect my self-esteem. It's not like we're really old (both 23) or really inexperienced. And apart from our sex life, the relationship is pretty good. He's an awesome guy and we get on like a house on fire and there is definitely chemistry.
We've been together about 6 - 7 months of which the last 3 have been long-distance.

I'm posting this now because I'm seeing him on Thursday after a month, and would really like some ideas and thoughts.

I've tried doing different things in an attempt to seduce him. I've put on my sexiest underwear, suspenders and all, and lap-danced for him, (he was too tired) I've suggested doing it in different places, (none would be as comfy as a bed) I've asked him what his fantasies are (he's not sure) I've asked him what turns him on (it depends) I've suggested watching porn together, to help me gauge what he's into, (we will one day) I've dressed up in different random outfits (they looked hot but he just didn't feel like it those days), I've suggested soft bondage, I've tried talking dirty, I've sent him naughty pictures, I've suggested a threesome, I've tried doing it at different times of the day, I've suggested and/or tried a million different things that I can't even remember now.

I've tried talking to him (several times now) about our sex life, with minimal response. He denied that he has any less of a sex drive than I do (which is slightly true because on occasion, he's said no to having sex with me but has put on porn less than 10 minutes after). He said that he does want to have sex a lot, and when I asked why, then, do we not, he said it was various reasons, including he couldn't be bothered sometimes. And suggested that I just try harder to get him turned on. That comment made me cry.

He's beginning to realise that I am not satisfied. So he is making some attempt at improving things. However, when we do have sex, he makes it seem like it's a chore and he's only doing it because he doesn't want me to be unsatisfied, rather than because he just really wants to. The sex itself is of okay quality. He's rather well-endowed, but seems to think that just thrusting away is going to do the trick. It took me 2 months of gentle coaxing to get him to finger me. Foreplay has increased from non-existent to a couple of minutes maybe, and that's only just to check if I'm wet enough. Sometimes he likes to clean up mid-sex 'to make himself more comfortable'. If I'm really wet or have just squirted, he'll tell me I'm creaming up and pass me a tissue whilst looking at my bits in poorly disguised disgust. He has told me he doesn't like the smell/taste of lady juices. So he has been down on me once, to see if he still felt the same, was down there less than 5 seconds, resurfaced and looked like he was going to puke.

I've really seriously considered that he might be gay and in denial. But he has had girlfriends before me, buys Nuts and other lads magazines, and is quite vocal and explicit about what he'd do to Scarlett Johansen. Does anyone reckon it might all just be a front?

When we're together, he'd rather snuggle than have sex. When we're apart, I try to keep the magic alive by sending him naughty pictures, talking dirty to him down the phone, sending him explicit text messages. And the most I've got out of him in response is 'That's cool', 'Nice!' or 'Yeah sounds good we should do that when we see each other next.'

I am really at a loss as to what to do next. Both quantity and quality are lacking. It used to just make me really frustrated, but now I am just really sad because I have a feeling that this is just what our sex life is doomed to be like. But I also really don't want to give up hope. And I'm not about to break up with him over it. Even if I tried to tone down my sex drive (which I'm trying to do currently, with minimal success), the sex would still be of average quality. Although I'm looking forward to seeing him on Thursday, part of me is also dreading it because when we are face to face, it is harder to control my desire to jump on him.

Any ideas/thoughts/support/comments would be greatly appreciated. I just don't want to give up :'(

Wow, you sound like an absolutely awesome girlfriend. And he really sounds like an immature and ungrateful jerk. You should really consider ending it, if he doesn't change his attitude.