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My BF is uptight in bed and disgusted by my lady juices watch

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    errrr are you sure he's not getting it elsewhere?
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    (Original post by the cake lady)
    Because he makes me happy in other ways. Our sex life isn't all our relationship is based on.
    Fair enough, but the sex life is the reflection of everything else in the relationship, being the biological reason for the impulse to have a relationship in the first place. I can guarantee you that even if everything else is perfect, if what goes on in the bedroom doesn't work, the relationship is doomed from the start.
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    You're his hag. Thats a woman that a gay man has a fake relationship with and then leaves for a Phillipino male
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    (Original post by BigFudamental)
    I don't know what's up with your bf but the term "lady juices" is just gross (one step away from "pussy cheese" ).


    Maybe you're too vulgar for him?
    I'm sorry you feel that way about my choice of vocabulary. Can you suggest an alternative term that would be more appropriate to you?

    Perhaps I am too vulgar. I considered this and have really toned it down in the last few months, which has actually helped him become a bit more vocal.

    (Original post by I'm Lillie)
    errrr are you sure he's not getting it elsewhere?
    No I am not sure. I couldn't be sure unless I was with him 24/7 and monitored his every move. Which I have no reason to do. However, without sounding naive, I can safely say that he isn't cheating on me. I trust him enough not to do that, and we have a pretty solid relationship other than the sex.

    However, I am willing to consider it as a possibility. If he is cheating on me, I have a lot of reflection to do on my judgement and instinct.
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    (Original post by the cake lady)
    I'm sorry you feel that way about my choice of vocabulary. Can you suggest an alternative term that would be more appropriate to you?

    Perhaps I am too vulgar. I considered this and have really toned it down in the last few months, which has actually helped him become a bit more vocal.
    Well there you go. I wasn't having a go at you, it was a serious suggestion. Some guys like kinkiness to be hinted at rather than expressed explicitly.

    I guess it's a tricky thing to euphemise....
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    (Original post by aeterno)
    Stop. Just stop trying to seduce him altogether. Wait for him to initiate it...if he never does even out of a pure, animalistic need to have sex, leave. Yes, sex isn't the most important thing in your relationship but it is still important enough to make it work in the long term.
    Like I said in an earlier post, I have stopped. We have sex on his terms as and when he wants it. I don't really do much these days to initiate things or seduce him, other than always making sure I'm wearing really nice underwear, just in case we happen to get naked. But waiting around in hope like this is not a long-term solution. He still doesn't come to me that much. Well, he does a bit more these days, but like I said, he admits that it is because he doesn't want me to be unsatisfied, rather than because he just really wants some.

    (Original post by misscharli)
    He definately has issues though unless he tells you i suppose you wont know what they are and be able to work on them. He could be gay/asexual or have perfomance anxieties for example.

    If it were me I would jst back off and not bother initiating sex for a while and see if he trys it on with you. If he doesnt then it might be time to examine youre relationship and find someone more sexually compatible.
    Maybe he does have performance anxieties. But he is pretty good at the very few things he chooses to do in bed, his manhood is rather large, and I am always encouraging with him when we have sex, and after. I have never complained about his performance to him. He gets hard quite easily, and can last a reasonable amount of time. I can't see any reason he might have any anxiety.

    I have tried backing off and not initiating for a while. And we just didn't have sex for that while because it didn't phase him in the slightest. I'm not even sure he realised I'd stopped.

    I am in the process of examining our relationship. If I can figure out this problem and we can work on it, it would be better than breaking up. So I'm going with option 1 at the moment.
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    (Original post by BigFudamental)
    Well there you go. I wasn't having a go at you, it was a serious suggestion. Some guys like kinkiness to be hinted at rather than expressed explicitly.

    I guess it's a tricky thing to euphemise....
    And I took your suggestion seriously and think it is a good one. He is definitely of the kinky-hinting variety. Which isn't too hard really, if you look at flirting between two people who have only just met, where there are sexual undertones in the flirting, and without either party explicitly saying 'I want to put my penis in your vagina'.
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    What the hell is wrong with the world? Why is it that the only guy lucky enough to have this happen to him doesn't even bloody want it? Stuff like this always happens!

    EDIT: As a serious answer - I literally have no idea why any guy would act that way because it makes no sense whatsoever. He isn't gay if his porn history is schoolgirls and big boobs, lol... Not to sound rude but you aren't really ugly/overweight or anything are you? But even then - you said he gets turned on easily so that hardly makes sense... *shrugs*
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    (Original post by 21stcenturyphantom)
    My god, when I read that at first I was speed reading it and thought it said 'includes' and my expression turned to this : :lolwut:

    Haha.
    Not gonna lie, same here!!

    OP I would echo what some posters have said - maybe he feels slightly intimidated because you're more sexually experienced and he doesn't want to let you down? Or he could be gay and just trying to hide it, again as others have said. Hope things work out for you :/
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    (Original post by ak9779)
    What the hell is wrong with the world? Why is it that the only guy lucky enough to have this happen to him doesn't even bloody want it? Stuff like this always happens!

    EDIT: As a serious answer - I literally have no idea why any guy would act that way because it makes no sense whatsoever. He isn't gay if his porn history is schoolgirls and big boobs, lol... Not to sound rude but you aren't really ugly/overweight or anything are you? But even then - you said he gets turned on easily so that hardly makes sense... *shrugs*
    Hehehe. No I am not really ugly/overweight. I'd say I am fairly attractive. Although it takes a wee bit of work some mornings Yeah sure I have faults, but nothing that makes me really repulsive. Obviously I'm not going to be to everyone's tastes though. On a more relevant note, my boyfriend thinks I'm beautiful. Well, at least, he says he thinks I am, and I believe he thinks that.
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    He sounds horrible, selfish, blunt, and very likely gay. Yeh he may be nice the rest of the time, but could you carry on doing this for the rest of your life?

    I know this isn't what you want to hear, but you need to move on and find someone who deserves you and would do anything to be with you!
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    Mmmmmm.... Lady Juices....:drool:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have a pretty high sex drive. I'm also pretty uninhibited; I love experimenting and talking openly about sex. Whatever my boyfriend wanted to do, I'd be all for it. (This excludes anything related to faeces, urine and vomit.) It's easy for me to orgasm, I'm ridiculously flexible, I squirt, I'm filthy in bed (not unhygienic!), I'm relatively experienced. I'm not trying to blow my own trumpet, I'm genuinely baffled as to what is going on. What am I doing wrong?!

    He doesn't want to do anything exciting in bed. He actually doesn't even want to have regular sex that much. In the second month of our relationship, despite seeing each other every day, we had sex 3 times. And they were brief. And I didn't orgasm. When I try to initiate sex, he pushes me away so often it's beginning to affect my self-esteem. It's not like we're really old (both 23) or really inexperienced. And apart from our sex life, the relationship is pretty good. He's an awesome guy and we get on like a house on fire and there is definitely chemistry.
    We've been together about 6 - 7 months of which the last 3 have been long-distance.

    I'm posting this now because I'm seeing him on Thursday after a month, and would really like some ideas and thoughts.

    I've tried doing different things in an attempt to seduce him. I've put on my sexiest underwear, suspenders and all, and lap-danced for him, (he was too tired) I've suggested doing it in different places, (none would be as comfy as a bed) I've asked him what his fantasies are (he's not sure) I've asked him what turns him on (it depends) I've suggested watching porn together, to help me gauge what he's into, (we will one day) I've dressed up in different random outfits (they looked hot but he just didn't feel like it those days), I've suggested soft bondage, I've tried talking dirty, I've sent him naughty pictures, I've suggested a threesome, I've tried doing it at different times of the day, I've suggested and/or tried a million different things that I can't even remember now.

    I've tried talking to him (several times now) about our sex life, with minimal response. He denied that he has any less of a sex drive than I do (which is slightly true because on occasion, he's said no to having sex with me but has put on porn less than 10 minutes after). He said that he does want to have sex a lot, and when I asked why, then, do we not, he said it was various reasons, including he couldn't be bothered sometimes. And suggested that I just try harder to get him turned on. That comment made me cry.

    He's beginning to realise that I am not satisfied. So he is making some attempt at improving things. However, when we do have sex, he makes it seem like it's a chore and he's only doing it because he doesn't want me to be unsatisfied, rather than because he just really wants to. The sex itself is of okay quality. He's rather well-endowed, but seems to think that just thrusting away is going to do the trick. It took me 2 months of gentle coaxing to get him to finger me. Foreplay has increased from non-existent to a couple of minutes maybe, and that's only just to check if I'm wet enough. Sometimes he likes to clean up mid-sex 'to make himself more comfortable'. If I'm really wet or have just squirted, he'll tell me I'm creaming up and pass me a tissue whilst looking at my bits in poorly disguised disgust. He has told me he doesn't like the smell/taste of lady juices. So he has been down on me once, to see if he still felt the same, was down there less than 5 seconds, resurfaced and looked like he was going to puke.

    I've really seriously considered that he might be gay and in denial. But he has had girlfriends before me, buys Nuts and other lads magazines, and is quite vocal and explicit about what he'd do to Scarlett Johansen. Does anyone reckon it might all just be a front?

    When we're together, he'd rather snuggle than have sex. When we're apart, I try to keep the magic alive by sending him naughty pictures, talking dirty to him down the phone, sending him explicit text messages. And the most I've got out of him in response is 'That's cool', 'Nice!' or 'Yeah sounds good we should do that when we see each other next.'

    I am really at a loss as to what to do next. Both quantity and quality are lacking. It used to just make me really frustrated, but now I am just really sad because I have a feeling that this is just what our sex life is doomed to be like. But I also really don't want to give up hope. And I'm not about to break up with him over it. Even if I tried to tone down my sex drive (which I'm trying to do currently, with minimal success), the sex would still be of average quality. Although I'm looking forward to seeing him on Thursday, part of me is also dreading it because when we are face to face, it is harder to control my desire to jump on him.

    Any ideas/thoughts/support/comments would be greatly appreciated. I just don't want to give up :'(
    I knew the bit in bold was coming. Also, why is the guy a douche because he doesn't want to have sex? I do understand it's frustrating that you're trying everything but he's still not responding, but he might just have a really low sex drive. He has said that he doesn't, but he's probably just not bothered. He could be gay, but there isn't any point jumping to that conclusion because he's a guy. If the roles were reversed, nobody would call you a lesbian if you didn't want to have sex with him.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    (This excludes anything related to faeces, urine and vomit.) , I'm filthy in bed (not unhygienic!)'(
    LOL
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    (Original post by Danz123)
    I knew the bit in bold was coming. Also, why is the guy a douche because he doesn't want to have sex? I do understand it's frustrating that you're trying everything but he's still not responding, but he might just have a really low sex drive. He has said that he doesn't, but he's probably just not bothered. He could be gay, but there isn't any point jumping to that conclusion because he's a guy. If the roles were reversed, nobody would call you a lesbian if you didn't want to have sex with him.

    In my other posts, I have explained that I don't think he is gay, and my reasoning. I had to consider it because I had to be open to any possibility. Only by considering all possibilities could I then take appropriate action.

    If he had a low sex drive, he wouldn't be looking at porn and giving himself a treat, or get a hard-on several times a day. Or talk about sexy women and what he'd do to them.

    If I didn't respond to pretty much anything my boyfriend did to initiate sex or turn me on, and I was disgusted by his penis and his ***, and made excuses not to have sex with him but fingered myself anyway, then I think people would suggest I might be a lesbian.

    I don't think my boyfriend is a douche. He's a pretty cool guy actually. Apart from in the sexy department.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have a pretty high sex drive. I'm also pretty uninhibited; I love experimenting and talking openly about sex. Whatever my boyfriend wanted to do, I'd be all for it. (This excludes anything related to faeces, urine and vomit.) It's easy for me to orgasm, I'm ridiculously flexible, I squirt, I'm filthy in bed (not unhygienic!), I'm relatively experienced. I'm not trying to blow my own trumpet, I'm genuinely baffled as to what is going on. What am I doing wrong?!

    He doesn't want to do anything exciting in bed. He actually doesn't even want to have regular sex that much. In the second month of our relationship, despite seeing each other every day, we had sex 3 times. And they were brief. And I didn't orgasm. When I try to initiate sex, he pushes me away so often it's beginning to affect my self-esteem. It's not like we're really old (both 23) or really inexperienced. And apart from our sex life, the relationship is pretty good. He's an awesome guy and we get on like a house on fire and there is definitely chemistry.
    We've been together about 6 - 7 months of which the last 3 have been long-distance.

    I'm posting this now because I'm seeing him on Thursday after a month, and would really like some ideas and thoughts.

    I've tried doing different things in an attempt to seduce him. I've put on my sexiest underwear, suspenders and all, and lap-danced for him, (he was too tired) I've suggested doing it in different places, (none would be as comfy as a bed) I've asked him what his fantasies are (he's not sure) I've asked him what turns him on (it depends) I've suggested watching porn together, to help me gauge what he's into, (we will one day) I've dressed up in different random outfits (they looked hot but he just didn't feel like it those days), I've suggested soft bondage, I've tried talking dirty, I've sent him naughty pictures, I've suggested a threesome, I've tried doing it at different times of the day, I've suggested and/or tried a million different things that I can't even remember now.

    I've tried talking to him (several times now) about our sex life, with minimal response. He denied that he has any less of a sex drive than I do (which is slightly true because on occasion, he's said no to having sex with me but has put on porn less than 10 minutes after). He said that he does want to have sex a lot, and when I asked why, then, do we not, he said it was various reasons, including he couldn't be bothered sometimes. And suggested that I just try harder to get him turned on. That comment made me cry.

    He's beginning to realise that I am not satisfied. So he is making some attempt at improving things. However, when we do have sex, he makes it seem like it's a chore and he's only doing it because he doesn't want me to be unsatisfied, rather than because he just really wants to. The sex itself is of okay quality. He's rather well-endowed, but seems to think that just thrusting away is going to do the trick. It took me 2 months of gentle coaxing to get him to finger me. Foreplay has increased from non-existent to a couple of minutes maybe, and that's only just to check if I'm wet enough. Sometimes he likes to clean up mid-sex 'to make himself more comfortable'. If I'm really wet or have just squirted, he'll tell me I'm creaming up and pass me a tissue whilst looking at my bits in poorly disguised disgust. He has told me he doesn't like the smell/taste of lady juices. So he has been down on me once, to see if he still felt the same, was down there less than 5 seconds, resurfaced and looked like he was going to puke.

    I've really seriously considered that he might be gay and in denial. But he has had girlfriends before me, buys Nuts and other lads magazines, and is quite vocal and explicit about what he'd do to Scarlett Johansen. Does anyone reckon it might all just be a front?

    When we're together, he'd rather snuggle than have sex. When we're apart, I try to keep the magic alive by sending him naughty pictures, talking dirty to him down the phone, sending him explicit text messages. And the most I've got out of him in response is 'That's cool', 'Nice!' or 'Yeah sounds good we should do that when we see each other next.'

    I am really at a loss as to what to do next. Both quantity and quality are lacking. It used to just make me really frustrated, but now I am just really sad because I have a feeling that this is just what our sex life is doomed to be like. But I also really don't want to give up hope. And I'm not about to break up with him over it. Even if I tried to tone down my sex drive (which I'm trying to do currently, with minimal success), the sex would still be of average quality. Although I'm looking forward to seeing him on Thursday, part of me is also dreading it because when we are face to face, it is harder to control my desire to jump on him.

    Any ideas/thoughts/support/comments would be greatly appreciated. I just don't want to give up :'(
    Dump him and go out with me instead!
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    Why are men not allowed to not want sex? Grow up.
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    He's less experienced than you, you make it obvious that he's less experienced than you, he probably knows that he's also less experienced than other guys you've been with, and he's intimidated to the point that it turns him off completely.

    I have solved your life . Next.
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    (Original post by The-Real-One)
    [COLOR="Red"][SIZE="4"]Dump him and go out with me instead! [/SIZE][/COLOR]
    Hmmm.... you make a very convincing case...

    Ok, done!
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    OP, I think I love you.
 
 
 
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