Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
Turn on thread page Beta
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I'm unhappy with myself. I don't like how I look, my face is chubby and I have a birthmark. I'm not fat but I've always had a wobbly stomach. I don't have anyone to exercise with and even if I did I doubt I'd have the confidence to go to the gym. I thought I had an okay personality but I only have a couple of friends. I don't know what's so wrong with me but I just have no social life. And my uni marks have got really bad. I passed my January exams but the marks were a lot lower than they used to be. I wanted to work harder this semester but because I've been so miserable about all the stuff above and my marks from before I've found it hard to concentrate.

    There isn't really one thing I like about myself. The only good thing is my boyfriend who I live with. But even he's not making me happy any more. It could be because I'm not happy with myself but I don't know if I want to be with him any more. I've always been really paranoid about his ex and I thought it would have passed after more than two years together but I still compare myself to her. He's my first boyfriend, nobody wanted me before him and probably nobody else ever will.

    Sorry, this is really whiny I just need to get it out but my boyfriend's fed up with me being upset.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Where do you live?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Girl stop yo whining If you're worried about what people think of you then just know that you think worse of yourself than other people do. In fact, they probably regard you as a normal person who looks no worse than any other person in this 6.5 billion population world. We come in different shapes and sizes. We're just specs of dust..but with a purpose It's all in your general point of view regarding the world. I see you're unhappy with the way you look and with the lack of social life. Look around you. You see people. You don't think "oh my how ugly that girl is" or "he should lose a couple of pounds" well you don't think like that if you don't see it in yourself. It's all about judging people and usually people are too busy to criticise anyone else but themselves. You catch my drift? You're beautiful the way you are. Just try to find small things to be happy about. If you're not happy with yourself then you won't be happy with anyone else. And tell yourself this : I DESERVE TO BE HAPPY. Because you do and we all do As to the social life..why don't you appreciate the friends you do have? You don't need 30 friends as long as you have at least 1 you love. And the boyfriend thing? Well that's where its tough. Is life better with him than it would be without him? If not, and you're unhappy being with him then I think you should break up with him and stay friends. If you want to rant some more then feel free to reply and I might get back to ya Stay positive gurl
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Make it your aim to make other people happy.
    This will make you feel positive and will probably inspire others to do similar for you.
    Plus it will be a distraction from your own misery.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    There is no way you can be happy with someone else unless you can be happy with yourself. It is really really really hard, because we live in a culture that is very conducive to self loathing, but you have to try.

    Work out what your values are, and what you believe in. Then work to make your life as aligned with that as you can. For example, an easy one is that you dislike having a wobbly tummy and being unfit. That is an incredibly easy thing to change. Buy a pair of trainers, download this podcast, and start running. You don't need a gym, you don't need a running partner, this is something you can do by yourself, that is for you and no-one else. Once you've achieved a physical goal like running 5k, you'll have built up enough self esteem to start changing other parts of your life.

    If you really want to change, then change. The quality and direction of your life is entirely down to you. If you don't want to make the effort, then you really should stop complaining. You have a choice.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Optimism!
    I know it sounds super easy when I say it like that but I admit it does take a bit of effort, especially if you're down. Smile a lot more, embrace a new attitude, it works wonders for everything. And if people are criticizing you, prove them wrong, it'll make them feel silly for being annoyed in the first place!'

    If you're not up for jogging maybe do brisk walks or just eat healthier food that will not only trim you down but help you think and focus!

    Chin up
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    you need to MAN UP!!stop worrying about the ex - she's history. not every girl has the perfect body and I'm sure you're just goreous the way you are. you wouldn't have the confidence to go to the gym?don't be silly. nobody starts at a gym with the "perfect" body do they?!you should join - exercise would take your mind off things and give you something positive to focus on
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I am trying to help myself. Tbh the fitness/exercise thing is probably the smallest issue because I CAN change it. I joined an exercise class a few months ago which made me feel a bit better but there have been days where I'm meant to go but just couldn't face it. Which is how I know the gym just wouldn't happen.

    (Original post by hanaalou)
    you need to MAN UP!!stop worrying about the ex - she's history.
    It's easy said but so hard to do. It's not just her, it's what she represents. He's had a whole other life before me and I just feel like I wasted my teenage years. It's hard to explain exactly why it bothers me. I just don't feel as good as her.

    (Original post by TheCurlyHairedDude)
    Where do you live?
    Is it relevant?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I am trying to help myself. Tbh the fitness/exercise thing is probably the smallest issue because I CAN change it. I joined an exercise class a few months ago which made me feel a bit better but there have been days where I'm meant to go but just couldn't face it. Which is how I know the gym just wouldn't happen.



    It's easy said but so hard to do. It's not just her, it's what she represents. He's had a whole other life before me and I just feel like I wasted my teenage years. It's hard to explain exactly why it bothers me. I just don't feel as good as her.



    Is it relevant?
    I know it's hard!!had a similar phase myself but you just need to battle through it. you could volunteer or something?just get something in your life that's positive and you'll feel great for it
    and what do you mean what she represents?
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by hanaalou)
    I know it's hard!!had a similar phase myself but you just need to battle through it. you could volunteer or something?just get something in your life that's positive and you'll feel great for it
    and what do you mean what she represents?
    I can't commit to anything at the moment. It's hard to explain without giving too many details but with Easter and exams and work placements I'm actually having to leave my part-time job so volunteering's not really an option. I should be throwing myself into uni, I need my concentration back!

    Just what I said about his life before me. That sounds really possessive when I say it like that. Thing is they're from a totally different part of the UK and they had the same friends when they were together. I met him when he went to uni so I don't really know his friends from home but a lot of them are close friends with her. It makes things difficult. And the whole ex thing in general just makes me feel worse about the fact I don't have a past. I'm sure he doesn't think less of me for it but to me it feels like he should. I hate it - it feels like we could last a really long time but it's hard because he is the only person I've been with.

    Thanks though, it's made me feel better just to have someone listen.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I can't commit to anything at the moment. It's hard to explain without giving too many details but with Easter and exams and work placements I'm actually having to leave my part-time job so volunteering's not really an option. I should be throwing myself into uni, I need my concentration back!

    Just what I said about his life before me. That sounds really possessive when I say it like that. Thing is they're from a totally different part of the UK and they had the same friends when they were together. I met him when he went to uni so I don't really know his friends from home but a lot of them are close friends with her. It makes things difficult. And the whole ex thing in general just makes me feel worse about the fact I don't have a past. I'm sure he doesn't think less of me for it but to me it feels like he should. I hate it - it feels like we could last a really long time but it's hard because he is the only person I've been with.

    Thanks though, it's made me feel better just to have someone listen.
    ohhh right well focus on your studies and getting the best degree you can!!ask to meet his friends from home?and there's nothing wrong with not having a past it's seriously loads better than being a slut!and your boyfriend obviously doesn't mind that you've only been with him. stop being so hard on yourself though you sound lovely
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: March 21, 2011
Poll
“Yanny” or “Laurel”

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.