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    #1

    If this can't be anonymous then please DELETE IT. I need some privacy here because I am so depressed about everything.

    I don't really know how to describe my life.

    Yes, I am a "loser". Yes, that means nobody wants to know me. Yes, it means I am a bonafide loner, as well as a loser. And yes, all this means I have little to no chance of anything ever getting better because I am in a vicious circle with no way out seemingly.

    I have reached a point where I say to myself, there is no point in being alive. All going 'well', I expect to live for another 50 years or so, maybe longer. I graduated from uni in 2010 but clearly a degree is no use to me with me being such a loser like I am.

    Everyday I seem to think of suicide. I am not brave enough to do it, I don't think. But it doesn't stop me from thinking about it. I have no friends, and never really have had any friends. Thus, you could say I am socially awkward and display little to no social skills. This inadequacy renders me impotent in real life and in my lame job.

    I am despised at work. Most people pity me. They see me walking past them and deliberately turn away so I realise that they don't want to look at me or talk to me. Nobody respects me because...nobody respects me. And I don't know how to change.

    Whether I am normal? No, I don't think so. There are problems with me which mean I cannot have a normal life, so obviously I don't ever expect to. But I cannot deal with the knowledge that everybody hates me and that they are gossiping behind my back.

    I am quite paranoid (very), and quite stubborn, and when I think that somebody disrespects me then my stubbornness kicks in I just give up on them. I do this because I know it is what normal people do. They can just concentrate on their real friends, rather than waste time with people who are mean to them. Yet, with me, I don't have anyone else to turn to. Does this mean my standard and tolerance levels have to be lower?

    Paranoia is ruining my life. I have no confidence and I cannot be part of society like this. As I said, my life is merely an existence rather than actually contributing to the world. I believe I would be better off dead, seriously.

    Only 50 more years to go. But how can I make those 50 years more bearable than the days currently?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    If this can't be anonymous then please DELETE IT. I need some privacy here because I am so depressed about everything.

    I don't really know how to describe my life.

    Yes, I am a "loser". Yes, that means nobody wants to know me. Yes, it means I am a bonafide loner, as well as a loser. And yes, all this means I have little to no chance of anything ever getting better because I am in a vicious circle with no way out seemingly.

    I have reached a point where I say to myself, there is no point in being alive. All going 'well', I expect to live for another 50 years or so, maybe longer. I graduated from uni in 2010 but clearly a degree is no use to me with me being such a loser like I am.

    Everyday I seem to think of suicide. I am not brave enough to do it, I don't think. But it doesn't stop me from thinking about it. I have no friends, and never really have had any friends. Thus, you could say I am socially awkward and display little to no social skills. This inadequacy renders me impotent in real life and in my lame job.

    I am despised at work. Most people pity me. They see me walking past them and deliberately turn away so I realise that they don't want to look at me or talk to me. Nobody respects me because...nobody respects me. And I don't know how to change.

    Whether I am normal? No, I don't think so. There are problems with me which mean I cannot have a normal life, so obviously I don't ever expect to. But I cannot deal with the knowledge that everybody hates me and that they are gossiping behind my back.

    I am quite paranoid (very), and quite stubborn, and when I think that somebody disrespects me then my stubbornness kicks in I just give up on them. I do this because I know it is what normal people do. They can just concentrate on their real friends, rather than waste time with people who are mean to them. Yet, with me, I don't have anyone else to turn to. Does this mean my standard and tolerance levels have to be lower?

    Paranoia is ruining my life. I have no confidence and I cannot be part of society like this. As I said, my life is merely an existence rather than actually contributing to the world. I believe I would be better off dead, seriously.

    Only 50 more years to go. But how can I make those 50 years more bearable than the days currently?
    You're right, calling yourself a loser has now just made it legit that you're a loser. TBH with that attitude you won't get nowhere in life.
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    I found that if you:
    Lose weight
    Buy some new brand clothes
    Buy thick rimmed glasses, or get contacts, or LASIK/LASEK
    Get a haircut

    girls will have a tendency to look at you. and get wet.
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    You describe yourself as a loser but why? You have a degree and a job. That's better than a lot of people at the moment so unless you can give me a better reason than having no friends and respect then I don't believe you're a loser. It seems you're reading too much in to what other people think of you which may be the paranoia you're describing.

    Having friends and earning respect just require effort. The effort to be yourself and get on with people who are in the same situation as you. If you get the opportuinity in work to help someone then do it without thinking whether they ask or not. Perfrom as well as you can at work and no one can ask anymore of you.

    Regarding the paranoia I would advise you to visit your gp and explain the problem and they can refer you to specialists who can help you deal with it more effectively. You really need to make an effort to change the situation rather than just saying I have no friends and therefore believing it's not possible to get any when that's just not true.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (I am the OP, again please keep anonymous)

    I try to make an effort with people at work but I am totally disrespected. I will not make an effort with people who bad mouth me behind my back, so what can I do with them?

    I have never had any friends and I don't have any social skills.

    I am still a virgin, although tbh in my state I would probably have to class myself as asexual anyway, so what the heck.

    I find people an inconvenience rather than an opportunity because of my lack of social skills/self-esteem. I avoid social situations at all costs. At my age, that is never going to change, as I am mid-20s already.

    I don't have the confidence to use my degree. I just stack shelves in a supermarket. I know my place in life.

    Nowadays I don't even have anyone to talk to, that's why I come back to TSR to post anonymously even though I stopped being a student 9 months ago.
 
 
 
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