Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

What Do You Rekon Of These Rap Lyrics.... watch

    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    My local youth club is holding music competition where we must sing/rap about something that's happening in the music industry atm. So me and my mate decided to rap about the state of hip-hop and how it's changing for the worst. The lyrics include disses towards: Lil Wayne, 50 Cent and Charlie Sheen. So if you actually like those money whore loosers then don't read

    They said hip-hop was gone, everybody mourned
    I'll pick it up from where it left off and respawn
    It's like it'll be reborn, replenish any torn
    Remove any thorn and produce my clone
    Remove autotune and remove monotone
    That includes Lil Wayne, the game's in pain
    Not 'cause of 50 Cent, he's just money insane
    Shi*'s a neurotoxin and killin' off my brain
    Like Tinchy Stryder said, I got to let it rain
    Maybe the run-off with deplete fakes on the train
    The music industry's in a coma, needs reviving
    Underground rap is the only thing surviving
    Too bad it isn't lucrative and thriving
    Doesn't matter even in you're tatted on your face
    To appeal to look real when half you are fake
    Blown away more minds than candles on my cake
    More cash on DJ decks than Charlie Seen's stake
    So what I'm poor, prefer Maccy Ds over Caviar taste
    Spreadin' my rhymes over bread like Nutella paste
    I’m a young icon in the making, destined for greatness
    You just don't know it, don't have the faintest
    I'm an artist like Pablo Picasso, motherfu*** paintest
    I keep shop floors ricket and rancid
    And those death threat calls, I never answered
    'Cause I was too busy making moves up in Hampstead
    For all the female attention, no time to be Romeo
    I love the ladies but success is a lonely road
    Need to make these tapes and get them sold
    No time for fancy cars, mansions and wearin' gold
    I need to strive to make the world a better place
    Record rap tunes which set the pace for the ultimate race
    To stop racists makin' a disgrace to the human race
    Offline

    14
    Illin' bro.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    I like it, esp this

    "For all the female attention, no time to be Romeo
    I love the ladies but success is a lonely road"
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    That was pretty ****, basic rhyme scheme, basic everything, to be honest.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    Pain, train, brain, rain?

    That Rhyming Dictionary really got a hammering!
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    :u: Good job.
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    Your rhymes are rather flat, be a little more creative and try and string things that work dependent on how they're said for a little more flair.
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    What's "paintest"?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Far from creative.... have you not heard of internal rhyming patterns? for example..

    im an ill killer guerilla got a huge **** call me dickzilla
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    It's pretty good but you don't seem to have much flair... Try freestylin over a beat you like and see what comes out, things gotta flow

    Nice effort though
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    I think the theme of determination for success is cool and works well lyrically. If I were you:

    - Take out some of the irrelevant rhymes (e.g. the last 2 lines)

    - Get rid of some of the generic rhymes

    Overall its pretty good.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    Thanks for the feedback, and to the haters I'm not Tupac.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    wtf is your problem with charlie sheen?
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by chilliprawn)
    wtf is your problem with charlie sheen?
    He's the problem, demanding over $1 million dollars for a poxy episode of 'Two an a half men'
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: March 22, 2011
Poll
Do you agree with the PM's proposal to cut tuition fees for some courses?
Useful resources

Articles:

TSR wiki music section

Quick link:

Unanswered music threads

Groups associated with this forum:

View associated groups

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.