The Student Room Group

Girls - Thoughts on a guy being a sperm donor?

Firstly, let me say that I have already told my local centre that I am willing to become a sperm donor, and have embarked on the process, and nothing anyone can say is going to change my mind about that.

However, I'm curious as to how the other gender would view me for this. There's a girl I'm getting quite close to, but I haven't told her as I haven't got a clue how she would react. It's easy to keep a secret, but I like to be open when I trust and like someone a lot, and there may be occasions e.g. when you have to "save up" sperm and therefore can't have sex that may raise strange questions :tongue:

So, I'm just looking for general opinions on it, really. Is it off-putting?

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It would be a deal breaker for me I'm afraid. :sadnod:
Reply 2
I'm going to be honest and I don't care how much neg I get but I would definitely not be OK with that, his little swimmy things will be used to father X number of kids, how can he live himself never knowing them? Loving and providing for only the ones he has at home, fair? Assuming he has 'other' children. Those children will never know who their biological father is up to a certain age. :emo:
Not a big issue for me. My boyfriend actually thought about doing it for awhile and then decided it would be too weird for him to know 'his' child would be running around somewhere. But I can't see why a potential girlfriend would find it such a massive deal that it would be a deal breaker? It's not like you've come into the relationship with a child to raise or any similar baggage, you're just helping out couples/single women who are having trouble conceiving and getting a bit of monetary compensation. No big deal!
Reply 4
Original post by Don'tNod
I'm going to be honest and I don't care how much neg I get but I would definitely not be OK with that, his little swimmy things will be used to father X number of kids, how can he live himself never knowing them? Loving and providing for only the ones he has at home, fair? Assuming he has 'other' children. Those children will never know who their biological father is up to a certain age. :emo:

Er, I think you've kind of missed the point of a sperm donor... It's usually to help out other COUPLES.
Reply 5
why are all these ****ing threads, 'GIRLS: WHAT WOULD YOU THINK IF A GUY DID THIS' or 'GUYS: WOULD YOU BE TURNED ON IF A GIRL WAS LIKE THIS'.

why don't you just do what you want to do and stop being a little bitch and always thinking 'what if this doesn't get me laiddddddddddddd'.
Original post by Don'tNod
how can he live himself never knowing them? Loving and providing for only the ones he has at home, fair?


To be fair, fatherhood isn't really about being biologically related to the dude who donates a chromosome. The couple who is on the receiving end of the OP's sperm will be the child's parents, OP just helped them to reach their goal of having a baby! The real dad is going to be the one rocking it to sleep and feeding it and changing its diapers and loving and caring for it. When/if the child finds out he/she was conceived using another man's sperm, I think it would be able to appreciate the lengths (emotional, financial etc) his/her dad went to. Infertility, in any manner, must be a massive ordeal for a couple to experience, so it's fantastic that people like the OP are willing to help out couples having a hard time.
If it was for a non-serious fling kind of situation, wouldn't bother me at all.
However, if it was someone I was hoping to settle down with and start my own family with one day, it'd be a deal-breaker for me unfortunately.
As much as I can see what you're doing is a really nice thing, if it was my boyfriend - I wouldn't be able to get over the fact his first child would not be with me, and that somewhere in the world there was a child who was his that we didn't know at all.
Reply 8
Original post by fidelity_blue
If it was for a non-serious fling kind of situation, wouldn't bother me at all.
However, if it was someone I was hoping to settle down with and start my own family with one day, it'd be a deal-breaker for me unfortunately.
As much as I can see what you're doing is a really nice thing, if it was my boyfriend - I wouldn't be able to get over the fact his first child would not be with me, and that somewhere in the world there was a child who was his that we didn't know at all.


Fair enough, I would probably be the same (hypocritical, I know) if a girl had donated her ova..
Reply 9
If it were my boyfriend, I wouldn't care. It's a nice thing to do. He's helping people who can't have kids. It's not like some girl is gonna turn up in a few years with some kid that's supposedly his. And since I have no intention of having any kids, it won't bug me that his first kid won't be mine.
Reply 10
I don't know about it being a deal breaker, but it'd certainly bother me. I can't explain why but the idea that his kids would be out there somewhere would bother me, it's for the same reason that I wouldn't want to donate my eggs.
Reply 11
It would be a deal breaker for me I'm afraid. Partly because the children now have the right to contact their biological father at the age of 18, but even knowing he had children in this world already would be off putting.
Reply 12
A silly question but wouldn't you want to know the dozens of kids your sperm was about to produce?

Because they may want to know who their father is.
(edited 13 years ago)
Reply 13
i cannot believe the girls on here saying that it would turn them off.
i think its an awesome thing for a guy to do! it's painful for couples out there who can never have a baby of their own so i think that anything that can be done to help can only be a good thing.
and for those saying that his children 'will be out there' so what? as long as they're being taken care of and treated well then what's the problem?
i don't understand people.
Reply 14
Original post by sil3nt_cha0s
It would be a deal breaker for me I'm afraid. :sadnod:


You are a very disturbed man.
It would make me wonder if it is an excuse for the times you have messed up. Split condoms at one night stand, ex wife, ex girlfriends.
I would also be wondering how many children you may have. Also judge you on little things and thinking ohh there is going to be dozens of this running around, arghhh the future is doomed.
Overall it would put me right off. You would have to be a very special person to get away with this sort of trouble Mr.
Wouldn't bother me in the slightest.
Reply 17
Original post by Paint-a-Picture
It would make me wonder if it is an excuse for the times you have messed up. Split condoms at one night stand, ex wife, ex girlfriends.


It doesn't really work like that, there is an official procedure, you get legal documents etc. :tongue:
Reply 18
dont see it as a problem, id be a bit concerned about him - like how he will feel a few years down the line about having children out there that he doesnt know, but if he was ok with that i would be happy and wouldnt see it as a problem (certainly not a deal breaker as some girls see it).

the way i see it is that you are helping people who cant have children of their own to start a family and get to have the chance that they cant have otherwise, which i think is a very good thing to do.
It wouldn't be a deal-breaker, but I would feel a bit weird about it.

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