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How long does ir rake to get over someone? Watch

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    Keep anon or delete please.

    I recently broke up with my girlfriend of 18 months for the reason we will never again meet in the same place - 3 years of uni followed by me moving south and her moving north (very simplified). I didn't want to do it, but i knew it would hurt a hell of a lot more if we survived uni then had to break up afterwards anyway.

    Trouble is, naturally she doesnt understand properly why i did it and is taking it very badly - i see her at college crying all the time and texting me either really horrible or nice things (mood swings).

    How long will it take to die down? I have to get over her and somehow stop loving her too, but it's a lot more difficult when you have someone wanting to get back with you telling you how much they love you and wanting a kiss.

    I've never come out of such a long relationship before (i know in terms of life, it's short, but it's long for me) so it's a lot more difficult to cope with.
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    • Thread Starter
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    it take*

    Apologies about the title.
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    Why not keep going out till you go to uni, and take it from there. For all you know one of you won't get into uni and end up going for a different one?

    I think until someone or something replaces it. That's why I;d suggest to anyone in your position to break up just before you go off. Then you can go somewhere completely new, meet loads of new, interesting and different people, not have to see the other around, and have a good month of alcohol fueled partying and hopefully lots of sex.

    Breaking up now you'll have 2 months of revising on your own, wondering about each other, and then a whole summer to mope around.
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    You never really do.
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    (Original post by harmonize)
    Why not keep going out till you go to uni, and take it from there. For all you know one of you won't get into uni and end up going for a different one?

    I think until someone or something replaces it. That's why I;d suggest to anyone in your position to break up just before you go off. Then you can go somewhere completely new, meet loads of new, interesting and different people, not have to see the other around, and have a good month of alcohol fueled partying and hopefully lots of sex.

    Breaking up now you'll have 2 months of revising on your own, wondering about each other, and then a whole summer to mope around.
    I had considered this, but knowing me, i'd be moping around at uni thinking the same things as you've said. I think i'll prefer having the time now to get over her than having to do it at uni when i should be out having fun.

    I am desperate to go to uni like now though.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I had considered this, but knowing me, i'd be moping around at uni thinking the same things as you've said. I think i'll prefer having the time now to get over her than having to do it at uni when i should be out having fun.

    I am desperate to go to uni like now though.
    Yeah but you can't go to uni now I assume, more like September. If you think that 'getting over' her now is the best for you, go for it. I prefer to take things as they come though, better to savour the moment and live it than break things off in the anticipation of problems or unhappy feelings. It's not really a habit you want to get into.
    • #2
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    time will 'heal' but it can take years up to forever.
    you can never really forget them (if it was true love), but the pain gets lesser and lesser...
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    i'll never forget him.. :cry:
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    I remember my first relationship which lasted about 9 months and took me a year to get fully over! My second took me about a month, although we did get back together afterwards. I think it depends on how much the relationship really meant to you and whether it was your first or not. One thing I will say is it's 100X times easier to get over someone when you cut all ties to them; no more calls or texts, delete them from facebook, don't meet up etc etc
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    I'm not surprised she's so upset, she feels like you gave up on the relationship before the real test had even begun. Obviously it's completely upto you if you can't face it though, and I understand your reasons. I've only ever had to "get over" one boy and the relationship ended quite badly in the end, which to be fair I think helped. The difficulty with this situation is that you still love your ex girlfriend and you don't want to see her upset. Unfortunately it doesn't sound like you can avoid each other either. I guess you just have to put your head down and get on with your work- focus on getting the best grades you can for uni. Anything that keeps you distracted will definitely be useful in the short term. In the long term however, it's only time that makes everything easier!
 
 
 
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