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Am I a *****? A ex-friend rang me up in tears and I turned away from it. . . Watch

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    Show her the door. You can thank me later.
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    You phoned up one of her friends to go and check on her, and considering what she's done to you, that was a nice thing to do and more than she deserved. I'd have completely ignored her.

    You don't need people like her in your life. She's obviously got other people that can help her if she's in need so she shouldn't be relying on you if she's got problems, especially if she wouldn't do the same back for you.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    What do you mean by darwinism?

    To those who suggested I help her I sat and thought a moment andI don't think I can help her. She's turned up at my house too many times with little boy troubles and said "it's all going down in my flat" a million times. I've sat and listened and advised countless times. I'm a poor student who is on a tight budget and she has sat and begged meals off me so many times (I'm not mean I'll happily do it the odd time).

    Getting over a sexual assault or rape is no easy feat and I'm still working to get over it now. So to be told that I'm lying when she later revealed that she saw the bloke walking me down the street and that she and her friends "doesn't have time for it" was an extra shock to my system that was almost as hard to get over as the assault.
    No she sounds like the *****. I thought it might have been a case of maybe she made a mistake... but that's no mistake she just didn't want to offer you support. You owe her nothing, and by the sounds of it it would only make it harder for oyu to get over the assault.
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    you not a *****. she was once a friend and no longer is. therefore she shouldnt expect you to help her out or anything, especially the fact that she didnt help you when you needed one.
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    I understand why you wouldn't want to be there for her, I'm just wondering why she specifically wanted you? I can only think of two things: this is a weird attempt to get you to be her friend again, or the reason she's upset is something that you have also experienced - sexual assault maybe? But I think the former is more likely, she seems like that type of girl. Just forget about it, she has other friends.
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    You did what you thought was best and contacted her close friend, that is what someone caring and supportive does. You do not feel you could personally help her for the way she has treated you, and that's not unreasonable, you owe her nothing after her lack of support. You contacting her closest friend was above the call of duty and you still did it anyway. Some "friends" are drains on your life and in the end it is best to cut the people from your life that are not there for you in your times of need, for your own self protection. Nobody deserves to be walked over constantly.
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    No, if she treats you like that she has no right to demand your emotional support.
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    don't feel like a *****! you haven't done anything wrong! if she wants to cry 'oh i need you', just think to yourself, where was she when you needed her to support you and back you up? i'm the same as you... people hurt me yet i always end up going back and helping them, and then they stab me in the back again! but ive learnt that i need to stick up for myself. tell her to do one and to talk to one of her other friends.
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    Maybe just see what she wants first? Then either support her or blow her off nicely
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    (Original post by BeautifullyTragic)
    Maybe just see what she wants first? Then either support her or blow her off nicely
    Ok guys, here's an update on what's happened since as I think it would be interesting to for you know.

    I got a text from my ex-friend about 20 minutes ago saying "Oh it's ok, I was just really a bit hormonal, sorry, get on with your coursework x" This has really made me angry.

    I don't feel bad anymore now as my housemate (who is friends with her) chatted this evening and she told me that she "invited herself over for coffee" sounding incredibly angry about it as it distracted her from her coursework. Also my housemate said that she had seen her laughing and chatting with her friends today. This doesn't add up.

    So I told my friend about the calls and she just seemed a little concerned then confused. We didn't talk much more about it as I don't want to start *****ing about her.

    I am quite quiet about the fact I'm not really friends with her anymore as I don't want to be childish and make people to ***** or take sides (they can be friends with her if they want and that's why I still see her). I guess it was attention seeking after all.

    Thanks to everyone who commented, I feel much better now
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    You were a lot nicer to her than I would have been. After what she did, she should be grateful that you're even polite to her in a group. You don't owe her anything and I don't see why you should have to be 'the better person'. I doubt she will see it like that anyway, even if you did make the effort, she sounds selfish and just generally horrible and the type to keep doing these weird things like turning up at your house.
    Don't worry, you're not a *****

    EDIT: just read the post above, she sounds like a drama queen then, ignore her
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    Say, "hey, sure, I'll be there for you, let's meet for a coffee."

    Next, make a profile for her on some dodgy dating site. Arrange a "date" with the creepiest guy you can find online - at the time you're supposed to be meeting her at the coffee shop.

    Watch from a safe distance.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ok guys, here's an update on what's happened since as I think it would be interesting to for you know.

    I got a text from my ex-friend about 20 minutes ago saying "Oh it's ok, I was just really a bit hormonal, sorry, get on with your coursework x" This has really made me angry.

    I don't feel bad anymore now as my housemate (who is friends with her) chatted this evening and she told me that she "invited herself over for coffee" sounding incredibly angry about it as it distracted her from her coursework. Also my housemate said that she had seen her laughing and chatting with her friends today. This doesn't add up.

    So I told my friend about the calls and she just seemed a little concerned then confused. We didn't talk much more about it as I don't want to start *****ing about her.

    I am quite quiet about the fact I'm not really friends with her anymore as I don't want to be childish and make people to ***** or take sides (they can be friends with her if they want and that's why I still see her). I guess it was attention seeking after all.

    Thanks to everyone who commented, I feel much better now
    Wow she has issues, :lolwut:

    Good for you though, you have dealt with this so well and are even being civil, which is more than she deserves given how she treated you.
 
 
 
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