Turn on thread page Beta
    Offline

    11
    ReputationRep:
    I agree with the comments above, I'm really shocked that both your boyfriend and friend didn't take five minutes to actually lend you their ears. You don't need a boyfriend or a friend that is that selfish.

    :hugs:
    Offline

    6
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've tried to think if it's something I've done to piss everyone off but I can't think of anything. I'm usually the one listening instead of talking - I've always been like that, never been big on talking and I hate talking about myself. I've never been nasty to my friends and would never hurt anyone I care about in any way. If I felt like I had, I'd apologise immediately. I rang up a friend apologising because I thought I'd accidentally shut the door on her the previous day :o: I'm usually all smiles around them so I'm not 'depressing' them or anything. I always make an effort to be nice to everyone I meet and I know I'm not a bad person or anything. I'm used to putting others before me but it'll be nice if those people were actually there for me
    They sound like idiots. Sometimes when you're too "there" for people they can take advantage or mostly take you for granted. It's not really fair because "listeners" sometimes need someone to listen to them (I'm the same as you so I should know...sometimes it's like talking to a brick wall!)

    Good luck with everything and I really think you should report him because he could easily do this to another girl :mad:
    Offline

    9
    ReputationRep:
    cyber hugs!!!
    Offline

    7
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    This is going to be long so if you can't be bothered to read it, don't. Also I don't need people telling me to 'man up' or make stupid jokes right now.
    You really need to surround yourself with better people.

    Your parents are absolutely disgusting from what you say. My dad would never speak to my sister like that, no matter how bad he was feeling. Regularly tells you he wishes you were never born ? That's awful stuff.

    I can't believe your friends/bf's. When someone rings you in tears that's generally a warning sign. Even if I was having a fight with a friend if they ring me in tears I'm gonna be there for them.

    I don't know you but I highly doubt you deserve it. Get some decent people in your life and don't let people walk over you. Next time you think about "not saying anything" don't. Remind your friend that she forgets your birthday all the time and tell her to STFU. Remind your dad that he chose to have you and that he should grow up and stop being such a tool. Tell him what you're going to and let him know that because of how he is you couldn't go to him about it. If that doesn't change him god knows what can. Oh and tell your bf that you don't want someone that is always too busy and doesn't give a damn. I can't believe how he's acting.

    Once my gf rang me at 11 at night and asked me to come over and I went with no reason needed. I could tell something was wrong but when I asked she said that she just wanted to be with me for a while. Didn't ask anymore questions and just watched a film while she snuggled up to me. Her dads a git too, sometimes I want to punch him for how he is with her. Anyway I was just there for her, no questions asked which was hard because I really wanted to know what was wrong. Turned out later on that she was just feeling really down for no apparent reason but either way I was there for her and at the risk of tooting my own horn, that's what all decent bf's do.

    My dad and my sister are really close, she speaks to him for ages about stuff and he listens. Even when she was like 17 and all the stuff in her life was teen drama that I could barely listen to, he would listen for hours sometimes and talk about it. That's what decent dads do as well.

    Tell the people in your life to sort themselves out and take care of yourself.
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Firstly, there's my parents. I don't have that relationship with my mum where she's like my best friend and I find it really hard to talk to her and anything I tell her, she just tells my dad straight away so they can have a little joke about it.

    he'll say how he wishes I was never born for stupid little things.

    Every time I try and talk to my closest friends about things, they just go on about their own problems instead.

    Recently, a close male friend tried to rape me

    Sorry this has been so long but I just needed to let it all out. Advice/whatever is welcome.
    Hugs for the parents... its hard when others have a seemingly perfect life
    Hugs for the boyfriend, though Im sure he cares
    Those people arent good friends, so heres a hug for that
    And I hope that your experience with the male friend doesnt traumatise you too much...

    hug
    becuase i want to x
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    I'll give you more than a hug
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by TheFlyingDutchman)
    You really need to surround yourself with better people.

    Your parents are absolutely disgusting from what you say. My dad would never speak to my sister like that, no matter how bad he was feeling. Regularly tells you he wishes you were never born ? That's awful stuff.

    I can't believe your friends/bf's. When someone rings you in tears that's generally a warning sign. Even if I was having a fight with a friend if they ring me in tears I'm gonna be there for them.

    I don't know you but I highly doubt you deserve it. Get some decent people in your life and don't let people walk over you. Next time you think about "not saying anything" don't. Remind your friend that she forgets your birthday all the time and tell her to STFU. Remind your dad that he chose to have you and that he should grow up and stop being such a tool. Tell him what you're going to and let him know that because of how he is you couldn't go to him about it. If that doesn't change him god knows what can. Oh and tell your bf that you don't want someone that is always too busy and doesn't give a damn. I can't believe how he's acting.

    Once my gf rang me at 11 at night and asked me to come over and I went with no reason needed. I could tell something was wrong but when I asked she said that she just wanted to be with me for a while. Didn't ask anymore questions and just watched a film while she snuggled up to me. Her dads a git too, sometimes I want to punch him for how he is with her. Anyway I was just there for her, no questions asked which was hard because I really wanted to know what was wrong. Turned out later on that she was just feeling really down for no apparent reason but either way I was there for her and at the risk of tooting my own horn, that's what all decent bf's do.

    My dad and my sister are really close, she speaks to him for ages about stuff and he listens. Even when she was like 17 and all the stuff in her life was teen drama that I could barely listen to, he would listen for hours sometimes and talk about it. That's what decent dads do as well.

    Tell the people in your life to sort themselves out and take care of yourself.

    Couldn't agree with this more.

    Never forget that you are the most important in the world and that your friends/parents should be there for you just as much as they are also the most important people in the world and you should be there for them.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Thank you all for the advice, I really appreciate it

    It's hard but I guess I really do need to report him for what he did. I don't want him to do that to anyone else

    (Original post by TheFlyingDutchman)
    You really need to surround yourself with better people.

    Your parents are absolutely disgusting from what you say. My dad would never speak to my sister like that, no matter how bad he was feeling. Regularly tells you he wishes you were never born ? That's awful stuff.

    I can't believe your friends/bf's. When someone rings you in tears that's generally a warning sign. Even if I was having a fight with a friend if they ring me in tears I'm gonna be there for them.

    I don't know you but I highly doubt you deserve it. Get some decent people in your life and don't let people walk over you. Next time you think about "not saying anything" don't. Remind your friend that she forgets your birthday all the time and tell her to STFU. Remind your dad that he chose to have you and that he should grow up and stop being such a tool. Tell him what you're going to and let him know that because of how he is you couldn't go to him about it. If that doesn't change him god knows what can. Oh and tell your bf that you don't want someone that is always too busy and doesn't give a damn. I can't believe how he's acting.

    Once my gf rang me at 11 at night and asked me to come over and I went with no reason needed. I could tell something was wrong but when I asked she said that she just wanted to be with me for a while. Didn't ask anymore questions and just watched a film while she snuggled up to me. Her dads a git too, sometimes I want to punch him for how he is with her. Anyway I was just there for her, no questions asked which was hard because I really wanted to know what was wrong. Turned out later on that she was just feeling really down for no apparent reason but either way I was there for her and at the risk of tooting my own horn, that's what all decent bf's do.

    My dad and my sister are really close, she speaks to him for ages about stuff and he listens. Even when she was like 17 and all the stuff in her life was teen drama that I could barely listen to, he would listen for hours sometimes and talk about it. That's what decent dads do as well.

    Tell the people in your life to sort themselves out and take care of yourself.
    Yeah I don't really understand my parents. I never talk back to them, I've always respected them despite everything, I help around the house...I do whatever I can for them but they just don't seem to appreciate it. Whatever I do, it feels like I'm not good enough. It's getting to the point where I feel like giving up being trying to be the perfect daughter and just do what I want because it's not going to make a difference to them. But after I graduate, that's it, it's up to them to make the effort.

    You sound like a nice guy and you really do seem like a decent boyfriend Mine used to be the kind of person who would do that until recently. If he's going through something, I hope he tells me though

    This sounds cheesy, but with such a decent dad, I'm not surprised that you're such a decent person yourself.
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    This close friend of yours is terrible I think you should cut contact with him and never talk to him again it's just such improper conduct no matter how drunk he is, you should defo avoid him or next time he might not pass out
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    This is going to be long so if you can't be bothered to read it, don't. Also I don't need people telling me to 'man up' or make stupid jokes right now.

    I know there are worse things going on in the world, it's not the end of the world, etc. but I still feel like absolute crap.

    Firstly, there's my parents. I don't have that relationship with my mum where she's like my best friend and I find it really hard to talk to her and anything I tell her, she just tells my dad straight away so they can have a little joke about it. I can take a joke but some things I just don't need being made into a joke. And they're usually really nasty about it and pick it apart over dinner. So I stopped talking to her and she just started making things up and telling my dad about things I hadn't even done! My dad's not exactly the nicest man. He's constantly telling me to piss off and leave him alone when all I've done is walk into a room. Or he'll say how he wishes I was never born for stupid little things. He once threatened to kick me out because I was apparently talking to him in a rude tone of voice - I wasn't even being rude to him, I just had a rough day and was tired so there was no enthusiasm in my voice. That's it.

    Secondly, my boyfriend's being a bit...confusing, really. I feel like he's trying to avoid me by 'forgetting' about when I ask to talk to him and just walking away or being really, really blunt with me when he knows I'm already feeling low and just making me feel worse. But when we do talk usually, he's nice and he's his normal self. I keep thinking there's something wrong and he's not talking to me about it but I don't want to push him and make him talk about it. The thing is, whenever he rings me 'just to talk', I always make time for him and listen to him but if I ring him because I just want to speak to him, he always says he's busy and that he'll ring back but he never does. And if I see him the next day, he won't even ask what the problem was - he's not nasty about it but he just acts as if I never even rang him. I love him and there are so many things about him that I adore but this recent behaviour is just really confusing me. We've been together just over a year and we've known each other for 18 months and I know this isn't normal behaviour for him. He's been like this for the past month or so. I know that he is actually busy this time of year but he's busy for most of the year and he's not been this distant. I don't mind giving him space but it'll be nice to feel like he's not just putting up with me or seeing me when he wants to.

    Every time I try and talk to my closest friends about things, they just go on about their own problems instead. One friend has been refusing to talk to me because the birthday card I sent her arrived on the wrong day...I can't control the post and I did write the date of her birthday on the card plus I rang her up on the day so she knows I know the actual date. Not only that, but every year for the past 9 years, she has forgotten my birthday - she still can't even remember when it is - but I don't say a word to her about it and don't hold it against her especially if she needs me.

    Recently, a close male friend tried to rape me and he probably would have succeeded had he not passed out from being too drunk. We were walking through a park and he pushed me up against a tree and shoved his hand down my knickers and started fingering me so roughly I was bleeding. He only got to unzipping his jeans and pulling my knickers down before he passed out. I never expected someone like him to behave like that and I just didn't know what to do. I just called one of his housemates to come and get him as I walked back home. On the way home, I rang my boyfriend in tears and he just said 'not now, I've got work to do' and when I said I really needed to see him, he just said he can't now and that I should go round to his in the morning. He could tell I was upset but he just didn't get that I'd never ask to see him urgently unless I really had to. I felt let down when I really needed him. I still haven't told him what happened. I rang one of my friends up instead so I could talk to her and she just had a go at me for ringing her when she's doing her essay at the last minute. I said 'sorry I wouldn't ring unless it's urgent' and she just said 'stop being so selfish, all you do is talk about yourself', which is just not nice when all I've ever done is be there for her, listen to her and she's just never been there for me, ever. So I just kept walking home, ignored my parents, and ran into my bedroom and locked the door. I felt so betrayed by everyone I thought I could count on and it hurt so much. It sounds so pathetic and I never thought I'd be the kind of person to do this but I just cried myself to sleep that night. The next day, I just tried to pretend nothing had even happened. There's no point. No one would care either way.

    Sorry this has been so long but I just needed to let it all out. Advice/whatever is welcome.
    Wow, it's like a little novel.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by bacforever3)
    Hugs for the parents... its hard when others have a seemingly perfect life
    Hugs for the boyfriend, though Im sure he cares
    Those people arent good friends, so heres a hug for that
    And I hope that your experience with the male friend doesnt traumatise you too much...

    hug
    becuase i want to x
    Thank you
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    With such sad stories like that, you wish you could give someone a real hug :/

    But this will have to do :hugs:

    I agree with the comments most of the people have said, and I have friends who have very little friends (Sometimes i'm their only one) and uncaring parents and it breaks my heart, No one should have to suffer that.

    You need to get a better group of friends, if you have hobbies and interests, why not try and join a club or group or something? you'll meet people who have the same interests as you

    With your boyfriend, if I was him i'd be there for you when you have a problem, ready to listen, he's not being a very good boyfriend otherwise, I'm a single guy and I hate to see it when other guys don't treat their girlfriends well, they should count themselves lucky, some people are not as lucky in getting girls.

    and with the rape thing, yes, call the police, you shouldn't suffer in silence, no one should x
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Hugs for you darling.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Crazyjack94)
    With such sad stories like that, you wish you could give someone a real hug :/

    But this will have to do :hugs:

    I agree with the comments most of the people have said, and I have friends who have very little friends (Sometimes i'm their only one) and uncaring parents and it breaks my heart, No one should have to suffer that.

    You need to get a better group of friends, if you have hobbies and interests, why not try and join a club or group or something? you'll meet people who have the same interests as you

    With your boyfriend, if I was him i'd be there for you when you have a problem, ready to listen, he's not being a very good boyfriend otherwise, I'm a single guy and I hate to see it when other guys don't treat their girlfirneds well, they should count themselves lucky, some people are not as lucky in getting girls.

    and with the rape thing, yes, call the police, you shouldn't suffer in silence, no one should x
    Thank you

    I do have a good amount of friends, it's just hard for me to trust people...I guess it's more a case of me trusting the wrong people :/

    I should be seeing my boyfriend tomorrow so I'm going to talk to him then. I know he's a nice person and once he knows what's happened, he will treat me right. If I knew that he wouldn't do that, I'd have left him ages ago. I really hope we'll get to have a good chat about everything.

    Thanks again
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    No problem, always love putting a smile on someones face x

    I'm sure your boyfriend is very nice, he just needs to listen to you a bit more and i'm sure you and him will be fine

    I hope things work out for you, I really do!
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by TheFlyingDutchman)
    You really need to surround yourself with better people.

    Your parents are absolutely disgusting from what you say. My dad would never speak to my sister like that, no matter how bad he was feeling. Regularly tells you he wishes you were never born ? That's awful stuff.

    I can't believe your friends/bf's. When someone rings you in tears that's generally a warning sign. Even if I was having a fight with a friend if they ring me in tears I'm gonna be there for them.

    I don't know you but I highly doubt you deserve it. Get some decent people in your life and don't let people walk over you. Next time you think about "not saying anything" don't. Remind your friend that she forgets your birthday all the time and tell her to STFU. Remind your dad that he chose to have you and that he should grow up and stop being such a tool. Tell him what you're going to and let him know that because of how he is you couldn't go to him about it. If that doesn't change him god knows what can. Oh and tell your bf that you don't want someone that is always too busy and doesn't give a damn. I can't believe how he's acting.

    Once my gf rang me at 11 at night and asked me to come over and I went with no reason needed. I could tell something was wrong but when I asked she said that she just wanted to be with me for a while. Didn't ask anymore questions and just watched a film while she snuggled up to me. Her dads a git too, sometimes I want to punch him for how he is with her. Anyway I was just there for her, no questions asked which was hard because I really wanted to know what was wrong. Turned out later on that she was just feeling really down for no apparent reason but either way I was there for her and at the risk of tooting my own horn, that's what all decent bf's do.

    My dad and my sister are really close, she speaks to him for ages about stuff and he listens. Even when she was like 17 and all the stuff in her life was teen drama that I could barely listen to, he would listen for hours sometimes and talk about it. That's what decent dads do as well.

    Tell the people in your life to sort themselves out and take care of yourself.

    this basically. you totally deserve better people in your life... jesus, if any of my friends rang me at a silly time crying, id be over there straight away. no questions asked.

    hugs for you, i hope your bf is a bit kinder once you've told him what happened! also, be firmer with your friends. maybe they see you as a bit of a doormat? idk. that girl whose bday it was sounds like a massive nob though.

    and the situation with the guy... ugh, i cant even begin to imagine how awful that must have been... and not being able to tell anyone?! again, hope the bf will listen and be supportive and nice.
    :hugs:
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Crazyjack94)
    No problem, always love putting a smile on someones face x

    I'm sure your boyfriend is very nice, he just needs to listen to you a bit more and i'm sure you and him will be fine

    I hope things work out for you, I really do!
    You really did

    I really hope so too. He was the one thing that was right in my life and I don't want to lose him over this.

    Thank you
    Offline

    7
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yeah I don't really understand my parents. I never talk back to them, I've always respected them despite everything, I help around the house...I do whatever I can for them but they just don't seem to appreciate it. Whatever I do, it feels like I'm not good enough. It's getting to the point where I feel like giving up being trying to be the perfect daughter and just do what I want because it's not going to make a difference to them. But after I graduate, that's it, it's up to them to make the effort.

    You sound like a nice guy and you really do seem like a decent boyfriend Mine used to be the kind of person who would do that until recently. If he's going through something, I hope he tells me though

    This sounds cheesy, but with such a decent dad, I'm not surprised that you're such a decent person yourself.
    Some parents are just ****. People don't think enough before becoming parents if you ask me.

    Your bf has no excuse. "Something maybe going on" is not an excuse. Relationships only work when people communicate. If you have problems and so does he you can both get through them at the same time by talking to each other. Your bf sounds like a moron. If you were my sister I'd of smacked him already and your "old friend".

    Yeah my parents are pretty good. Just hope that I can carry on the tradition

    Good luck with everything
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by popple7)
    this basically. you totally deserve better people in your life... jesus, if any of my friends rang me at a silly time crying, id be over there straight away. no questions asked.

    hugs for you, i hope your bf is a bit kinder once you've told him what happened! also, be firmer with your friends. maybe they see you as a bit of a doormat? idk. that girl whose bday it was sounds like a massive nob though.

    and the situation with the guy... ugh, i cant even begin to imagine how awful that must have been... and not being able to tell anyone?! again, hope the bf will listen and be supportive and nice.
    :hugs:
    Thanks

    I'm usually quite assertive when I need to be but I guess I tone it down with my friends because I don't want to come across as a complete *****. I guess I toned it down a little too much? I don't really know

    I really hope he will too
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks

    I'm usually quite assertive when I need to be but I guess I tone it down with my friends because I don't want to come across as a complete *****. I guess I toned it down a little too much? I don't really know

    I really hope he will too
    tbf they could just be douchebags? some people can be really self-obsessed and unable to listen to anyone else.

    you seem lovely so rest assured, you are NOT a complete *****. on the other hand, your douchey friend who went mental for a card arriving late (despite you phoning her) is a textbook ****. and your mate that didnt care when you phoned her crying. also a major ****
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: March 22, 2011
Poll
How are you feeling in the run-up to Results Day 2018?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.