I am finding it very hard to deal with things at the moment and feel very alone with everything that I need to deal with in my life and I'm struggling to cope. I really need a hug from a friend but no one seems to give a damn!
I have been feeling very alone for a while now. I live with a girl and a boy and we live very seperate lives as they both have boyfriends and spend most of their time with each other. I don't have many friends as a result because I don't get out much anymore. The people I care about the most are miles away! The man I love is living abroad for a few more months and my best mate emigrated recently!
My Dad has been very ill for a long time: Alzheimers and Cancer. It has been a long struggle and the past 6months have been hell, as we have been constantly told it could happen any minute, constantly rushing to see him in hospital! He died over the weekend and because I was over prepared it has come as a horrible shock, he died in the most appauling manner and was clearly in unbareable pain, we got to the hospital too late aswell, so he died alone :-(. I feel awful completely drained, I'm struggling to eat, sleep and generally function, I can't concentrate! Fo the first time in ages I feel like having a cig!
I am trying to move on but the circumstances he died under were a bit more then natural causes and there is now an investigation into medical neglagence through the police etc. The thing is all my family want this investigation except me (not that its our choice anymore) I just want to get the funeral out the way and lay hm to rest, I can't stand the thought of his body being cut up and examined, it don't seem right. As far as I'm concerned I've lost my Dad, in the most terrible of ways and no one can say or do anything that's going to chage that, I accept that. This world is unfair and bad things happen to people regardless of good or bad, there is no way to get justice, whats done is done. I just want to put him to rest and carry on.
I feel very alone in all of this, my family hold one view and I another and non of my friends seem to know what to say so they just avoid me :-( And I really need a hug!!!!!! I only have MSN contact with the people that I'm close with and well its not enough. Its not like I can afford to fly to Italy or Greece to see them and the can even less afford to, so I'll just have to wait for a few months.
I'm just feeling incredibly low and need to find the strength to fight on through this pain! I'm going to try praying, I'm not religous, niether am I athiest, maybe it will help who knows. I've always been quite anti all religion since I came out a number of years ago. I can't stand unnecesary hatred but maybe instead it will help channel m love.
I'm struggling to cope! Problem after problem I can't take it anymore. watch
- Thread Starter
- 22-03-2011 21:44
- 23-03-2011 17:05
hey, inbox me i went through a very similar thing last year and i still cant cope.
I dont really want to relay details on here because i know people on here, so message me
- 23-03-2011 18:13
I can understand how you might feel low. Is there really no-one you feel you can talk things over with? Expressing yourself is best.
Message me, if you need a chat...