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Has anyone asked a lecturer out for coffee? watch

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    I guess the question to ask yourself is even if he does like you in that way, do you actually want to be in a relationship with him and envision it working out? Is the idea more attractive than the reality, or is it something you'd genuinely be happy/comfortable with?

    I've been to pubs, cocktail bars, coffee shops, ice cream parlours and restaurants with tutors, as well as going to the London house of one tutor, the wedding of another and chocolate shopping with another. None of that was with romantic intentions though. Some people did get the wrong idea about me and one tutor, mind you
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Great Any advice?
    when are you graduating? If it's soon, try not to mess anything up until then, so play it safe and keep the relationship as it is, and then when you graduate you can ask him to coffee. If you do go out, make sure you don't base the conversation around studies or academia unless that's all he enjoys, because I'm sure even teachers want to get away from it all as well

    to move your relationship to the next level if you're not graduating soon, you need to talk to him about non-study related things, like ask him about his hobbies and life etc. to get to know him better and if he asks why, just pretend to be an innocent schoolgirl just wanting to know what it's like to be an adult, but make it ambiguous as to whether you're kidding or being serious. maybe even randomly tell him about an experience which is loosely related to the subject or something after class so that he knows you like him

    that's all very specific because that was the plan I formulated to get talking to my ICT teacher, I'm still waiting for the right moment to strike
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    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    I guess the question to ask yourself is even if he does like you in that way, do you actually want to be in a relationship with him and envision it working out? Is the idea more attractive than the reality, or is it something you'd genuinely be happy/comfortable with?

    I've been to pubs, cocktail bars, coffee shops, ice cream parlours and restaurants with tutors, as well as going to the London house of one tutor, the wedding of another and chocolate shopping with another. None of that was with romantic intentions though. Some people did get the wrong idea about me and one tutor, mind you

    I'd love to be in a relationship with him, simply because he has many of the qualities I want in a partner, and I'm very attracted to him. Obviously I couldn't say for certain that it would work out, but I feel that without finding out one way or another, I won't be able to move on. There's nothing worse than "what ifs" after all. I've been in relationships with other men during the time I've known my lecturer, and been on dates, but none of them seem to compare.

    Wow, really? You must have a really informal dept. or get really close with your tutors , because on my course, that would be considered really weird. No one socialises outside of uni with lecturers etc. How did that come about?
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    No but I ended up in a pub with a lecturer. He got slightly drunk and as I'd forgotten taxi money I had to accept a lift from his drunken self. Not my proudest moment!
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    (Original post by Refrigerator)
    when are you graduating? If it's soon, try not to mess anything up until then, so play it safe and keep the relationship as it is, and then when you graduate you can ask him to coffee. If you do go out, make sure you don't base the conversation around studies or academia unless that's all he enjoys, because I'm sure even teachers want to get away from it all as well

    to move your relationship to the next level if you're not graduating soon, you need to talk to him about non-study related things, like ask him about his hobbies and life etc. to get to know him better and if he asks why, just pretend to be an innocent schoolgirl just wanting to know what it's like to be an adult, but make it ambiguous as to whether you're kidding or being serious. maybe even randomly tell him about an experience which is loosely related to the subject or something after class so that he knows you like him

    that's all very specific because that was the plan I formulated to get talking to my ICT teacher, I'm still waiting for the right moment to strike
    It's soon, but chances are I'll end up doing postgrad as well

    Thanks for the advice
    Do you have a crush on your ICT teacher?
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    (Original post by Wild_Precious_Life)
    No but I ended up in a pub with a lecturer. He got slightly drunk and as I'd forgotten taxi money I had to accept a lift from his drunken self. Not my proudest moment!
    Haha
    How did you end up in a pub with him anyway? Was it just the two of you?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'd love to be in a relationship with him, simply because he has many of the qualities I want in a partner, and I'm very attracted to him. Obviously I couldn't say for certain that it would work out, but I feel that without finding out one way or another, I won't be able to move on. There's nothing worse than "what ifs" after all. I've been in relationships with other men during the time I've known my lecturer, and been on dates, but none of them seem to compare.

    Wow, really? You must have a really informal dept. or get really close with your tutors , because on my course, that would be considered really weird. No one socialises outside of uni with lecturers etc. How did that come about?
    Well tread carefully, especially if you're thinking of sticking around for postgrad, but good luck Try and find out more about him as a person before making a move, to check compatibility :yes:

    I went to Oxford, which is has three things that allow us to become quite close to tutors: collegiate system, tutorial system and personalised/close pastoral care. It wasn't even limited to tutors in my subject. Two tutors who I consider friends for life are English and Theology lecturers :yes:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    It's soon, but chances are I'll end up doing postgrad as well

    Thanks for the advice
    Do you have a crush on your ICT teacher?
    yes I do
    she's very attractive but she's a pretty decent person as well

    I feel that she hesitates to let her personality out in lessons, she plays it strictly by the book, so I'd like to see more of the real her

    wow I sound so gay
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Haha
    How did you end up in a pub with him anyway? Was it just the two of you?
    I was struggling with one of my modules and as my exam was in a week I called him up to his office and said I'd like to make an appointment (thinking it'd be in a few days or so), but he said he wouldn't be free any time apart from *now*. I was in my PJs and wasn't prepared at all but thought I'd better take advantage of the situation so I quickly got ready and got a taxi to his office. When I got there he said they were closing up and asked whether I'd be happy to go through the module in the nearest pub. I was a bit shocked but didn't know what else to do! It was ever so slightly awkward throughout.
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    Sure - I mean there wouldn't be any student/teacher moral issues by the time you graduate

    And if he's single then I suppose there aren't any other problems either.

    Go for it. Good luck
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    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    Well tread carefully, especially if you're thinking of sticking around for postgrad, but good luck Try and find out more about him as a person before making a move, to check compatibility :yes:

    I went to Oxford, which is has three things that allow us to become quite close to tutors: collegiate system, tutorial system and personalised/close pastoral care. It wasn't even limited to tutors in my subject. Two tutors who I consider friends for life are English and Theology lecturers :yes:
    Yeah, I'll have to play it carefully. I will do, but it's rather awkward to ask personal questions in uni and steer the conversation away from research related topics. I agree that I need to try and find out more about him as a person though. Thanks for the luck, I'll certainly need it

    That's really cool. I think that's a positive thing. I had a feeling you'd say Oxford or Cambridge, my uni is nothing like that.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yeah, I'll have to play it carefully. I will do, but it's rather awkward to ask personal questions in uni and steer the conversation away from research related topics. I agree that I need to try and find out more about him as a person though. Thanks for the luck, I'll certainly need it

    That's really cool. I think that's a positive thing. I had a feeling you'd say Oxford or Cambridge, my uni is nothing like that.
    Sometimes you can gauge snippets from throwaway comments and/or the way they discuss research-related topics. Or maybe you could shift a research-related discussion/meeting to a more informal venue like you're suggesting, and hold any romantic testings/declarations and just see what it feels like being outside the confines of uni a few times

    It was definitely a positive thing. Perhaps something a bit too positive but overall it was really nice
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    I have quite a nice situation with a lecturer. He's my German lecturer in a small class, so we all know each other pretty well (including knowing the lecturer). He gets on my train home occasionally, and if I see him we always talk to each other.
    I invited him for coffee once; since I know he's a big caffeine junkie and, well...so am I :awesome:

    It's dead good, we can talk about normal matesy stuff, but even stuff that's happening in the news.

    I don't see any problem with it really, would be better in a group of my mates + lecturer. But whatevs.
 
 
 
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