Turn on thread page Beta

Girlfriend disagrees with controversial issues watch

    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Expecto_Patronum)
    True, but it's fun! (To be fair, we also agree on most of the things we discuss.)
    that's the thing then isn't it, if you share views then talking about it is fine. But if you're on opposite sides of the fence i think it's best to leave it be.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    I couldn't be with someone who was pro-fox hunting. it's pretty barbaric.

    are you sure she's not just a bit slow, ha. or rather just likes being controversial?.... people who are against alternative forms of energy, particularly with Japan situation atm, because they are unattractive don't seem very sensible/ kind of people you should date.
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Planar)
    What if she was Susan Coffey?
    Had to google.

    I hope she disapproves of fox hunting :coma:
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Drumzilla)
    that's the thing then isn't it, if you share views then talking about it is fine. But if you're on opposite sides of the fence i think it's best to leave it be.
    Nah, I still think I'd rather discuss something like that than something totally mindless. I disagree with my friends about a lot of things, and there's nothing I like more than a nice long debate about some controversial issue or another.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Aj12)
    How about you grow up and just avoid those issues? How often will fox hunting and wind farms come up in normal conversation
    He may have a pet fox and a windmill in his back garden!

    But seriously, what they said.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by mistressselene)
    he doesn't care about them, have the education I do on them, or has different opinions.
    Is it that he knows that they're nothing more than the placebo effect?
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So I'm pretty much on the verge of having this girl as my girlfriend. The only problem is, she seems to have very different opinions to me over a couple of controversial issues. Firstly, she is pro-fox hunting, something I am very much against. And secondly she is against wind farms as they are an eye-sore.

    I haven't really expressed my own opinions on the matters, but I know how she feels.

    Reading back through my post, I can see how this seems a bit petty, and something I should just overlook, but these are things I am quite passionate about. Has anyone had any experiences similar to mine? Do you think we could work?
    I have overcome similar issues with two guys... the first was ok because we werent going to be more than a good summer, the second is more complex because I think we have a chance but im aware he thinks i have the same moral code as him when I work on logic rather than morality!

    Just little things like how Im veggie and hes not, hes rigid on drugs being wrong whilst I see copious alcohol and cigarettes to equate to hebal drugs and just because they are illegal, i cant find a good enough reason to oppose them more strongly than the others....

    We'll see you know... I think you should go for it, but if you hit problems, it is likely that you will remember your differences...
    Still... people can change!
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Expecto_Patronum)
    Nah, I still think I'd rather discuss something like that than something totally mindless. I disagree with my friends about a lot of things, and there's nothing I like more than a nice long debate about some controversial issue or another.
    there's the difference between you and i then, i hate debating/arguing, i just find it draining and annoying.

    I'd much rather just shoot the breeze
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    OP owes me a new keyboard.
    I just faceplanted mine.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by rockrunride)
    Had to google.

    I hope she disapproves of fox hunting :coma:
    Be realistic though - you would anyway
    Offline

    9
    ReputationRep:
    Couples don't have to always agree on everything. Just accept that you have different opinions on those issues and move on. If you love them then it really shouldn't matter
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Planar)
    Be realistic though - you would anyway
    There's a difference between "I would" and "I would start a relationship with her" :fluffy:
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by GwrxVurfer)
    I think politics and economics are the two most important issues to discuss in the current regime. Using your argument that politics shouldn't be discussed in case of disagreement, me and a girlfriend would also be forbidden from talking about football unless we supported the same team, forbidden from talking about cars unless we liked the same make and model, forbidden from talking about computers unless we both agreed which operating system was superior, etc etc etc.

    By all means, talk about "fun" things sometimes, everyone should. But are you really just going to sit in silence throughout other moments in your relationship because you see politics as a "forbidden subject"?
    the bolded one is true, have you ever tried talking to an Apple fanboy lol

    but the bottom line is they're still not fun subjects though are they, by all means share your views on it, but if you are both diametrically opposed to the others views then i would just leave it, instead of having a argument which leaves you both pissed off :dontknow:

    football, can be light hearted and fun (sometimes ), cars, again light hearted and fun, people aren't going to get all hot and bothered over a differing view on cars, but politics? people will die before they accept another persons view on politics.

    and if you run out of fun things to talk about in your relationship then i think it's about over anyway :cool:
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by GwrxVurfer)
    But why would we be pissed off for having a mature, civilized debate on important issues?

    That's just your opinion that discussing your disagreement on cars is ok, but discussing your disagreement on politics is somehow not.

    Indeed. If you start "ruling out" topics because you might disagree, then you may run out of topics very quickly.
    i have never seen anyone have a rational, civilised debate over politics, it normally descends into a slanging match, not something i am inclined to voluntarily participate in with a girl i like.

    it's not about ruling out topics because you disagree, it's about accepting that you disagree and leaving it at that. I hate when people try and force their political views down your throat so i don't do the same.

    you can disagree on stuff, but nothing illicits quite such an animated response as disagreeing about politics and the like. as such i would stick to things that are more enjoyable to talk about :dontknow:
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by GwrxVurfer)
    We're not talking about your slanging matches, we are talking about mature rational debate on politics. Isn't that what democracy is about? People debating issues........

    Well you contradicted yourself there. You said it's not about ruling out topics because you disagree, but then you change your mind and say that you would in fact "leave it at that" if there was disagreement. Make up your mind.

    So you also won't talk about cars, computers, football, the weather, your jobs, your incomes etc - Because in all probability you will disagree on all of these issues to some extend as well. You aren't going to have a lot to talk about.....

    Maybe you do have an "animated" response to debate on politics, but most people don't. If you can't even discuss a topic such as politics without losing it, then how on earth do you think you'll manage to talk rationally about football when your partner reveals that they support a different team?
    I'm sorry you must have never seen what goes on in the house of commons, when politics is involved people lose their rag and shout at each other. People don't like being told their wrong.

    My wording is different, you don't not talk about them because you might disagree, it's about not trying to force your opinions on other people.

    you're missing the point, people don't care about disagreeing on cars or whatever, because it's not important, you can tease people about their taste in cars, but call someone out on their politics and it turns all serious. Telling someone their wrong about politics is like telling them their entire view on morals and life is wrong, not something people take too kindly to.

    refer to my first point. as much as you may not like to believe, politics is a hot button issue, people will not discuss it rationally. People will not change their views because you put together a reasoned argument.

    at the end of the day, the main reason why i don't talk about it is because it's not fun for me, maybe you like arguing but i don't. It doesn't make me happy so i don't do it.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Why don't ya hunt a fox and then a take a trip to some wind farm?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Disagreement on controversial issues should only be an issue insofar as they impact the relationship.

    e.g. gf being a Christian - I don't care. gf being a Christian so she won't have sex before marriage - I won't be in a relationship.

    or e.g. gf being a feminist - I don't care. gf being a feminist so she expects to be sexually liberated and have multiple partners outside the relationship - I won't be in a relationship.


    I can only see fox hunting and wind turbines being an issue if she wanted you to go fox hunting with her.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So I'm pretty much on the verge of having this girl as my girlfriend. The only problem is, she seems to have very different opinions to me over a couple of controversial issues. Firstly, she is pro-fox hunting, something I am very much against. And secondly she is against wind farms as they are an eye-sore.

    I haven't really expressed my own opinions on the matters, but I know how she feels.

    Reading back through my post, I can see how this seems a bit petty, and something I should just overlook, but these are things I am quite passionate about. Has anyone had any experiences similar to mine? Do you think we could work?
    Dude, your upset that she doesn't like how big white windmills look? Your such a wuss
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I don't think you understand how much fox hunting, and the surrounding issues, are a way of life for some people. It's not just something that would come up very infrequently.
    My mum divorced her first husband because he was so into fox hunting and she hated it. It led to lots of other problems and in the end they had to end it.

    True story.

    No matter how much you love someone, disagreements on controversial moral issues can cause big problems
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So I'm pretty much on the verge of having this girl as my girlfriend. The only problem is, she seems to have very different opinions to me over a couple of controversial issues. Firstly, she is pro-fox hunting, something I am very much against. And secondly she is against wind farms as they are an eye-sore.

    I haven't really expressed my own opinions on the matters, but I know how she feels.

    Reading back through my post, I can see how this seems a bit petty, and something I should just overlook, but these are things I am quite passionate about. Has anyone had any experiences similar to mine? Do you think we could work?
    Come on man! Me and my girlfriend dont agree on even the least important matters!
    We are complete opposites on 'controversial issues' (I wouldn't really class wind farms as controversial mind. )
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: March 24, 2011
Poll
How are you feeling in the run-up to Results Day 2018?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.