Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    This might be a long post, so I am sorry in advance.

    I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for about 7 months. We kind of jumped head first into it, and fell in love quite quickly. The problem was we lived 40 miles apart- which meant spending money to see each other. It has always been me spending the money and doing the travelling. I don't mind, because I wanted to see him. And he usually brought my food and made up the money.

    But now things have gotten a bit well, I'm not sure how to phrase it. He spends all his money on certain things, which means that we can't go out together and I'm stuck eating toast the whole time I stay with him. But that isn't really the problem. He doesn't really appreciate what I do anymore. I have started a few arguments about various things, such as:

    1. I am bottom of his priorities list- he always says when hes with me that he wishes he was with "the boys". The fact he has no money for us to go out together because he spends it on this shows that too.

    2. The fact he doesn't appreciate the travelling I do. He even told me that if it was the other way round he wouldn't do it.

    3. He is always checking out and remarking on women when he's with me, telling me who he'd like to shag, and talking about porn. I don't really find it appropriate that he tells me this....he also boasts to me (and his mates) about bedding this girl that was underage.

    And he's always shouting at me/getting angry. Whatever I do. I went to see him, and he told me he doesn't want me there doing what I normally do, "moping", because he goes on msn and forums for hours, and I just sit there. He got angry at me and I cried, and felt so silly.

    He says that me starting arguments is making him think it would be easier if we broke up, making him question if it's worth it. This made me cry again, it's silly but if we broke up, I would have no one. All my friends went to uni and he's the only one I've got really.

    That day I thought having sex would fix it (yes, it's stupid), and ended up crying during it, although he didn't see/notice. Later I tried to initiate sex again but he wouldn't do it with me, again in the morning he shouted at me when I tried to kiss him.

    I feel like the relationship is falling apart because of me. Because I started these arguments. Maybe I was overreacting. I'm trying to do everything to fix it, I buy him stuff, I let him talk about other girls, I let him spend all the time when he's with me on msn talking to people. I feel like if I was perhaps a better girlfriend he would treat me better It sounds nuts, but that'show I feel.

    Sometimes I feel I deserve better. But I probably wouldn't find it or find anyone for that matter.

    Advice please???
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I'm afraid that's what you get for going out with a LAD
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I used to behave like your boyfriend a bit with my now ex (not quite as bad, but still..) and now I feel quite terrible about it. She wasn't without her faults at all, but I felt like I managed everything very poorly, ended up going out with my mates all the time and getting high, and whenever I was with her I wished I was doing my usual activities and therefore snapping at her over the smallest of things when all she wanted to do was make me happy.

    Bottom line, don't feel bad about anything you're doing, you sound like you go above and beyond what most people would to continue a relationship. He sounds thoroughly disinterested in you and I think it'll take the shock of you stopping the visits to make him realise what he's throwing away.

    Good luck to you I hope it works out nice in the end
    • Political Ambassador
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    Political Ambassador
    Dump him sounds like a prick
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Bin and move on.
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    He's clearly not interested in the relationship at all anymore. It's not your fault. You should dump him.
    Offline

    4
    ReputationRep:
    I cried because I'm still a virgin.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    LAD.
    Offline

    11
    ReputationRep:
    There's one for the shredder
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I feel like the relationship is falling apart because of me. Because I started these arguments. Maybe I was overreacting. I'm trying to do everything to fix it, I buy him stuff, I let him talk about other girls, I let him spend all the time when he's with me on msn talking to people. I feel like if I was perhaps a better girlfriend he would treat me better It sounds nuts, but that'show I feel.

    Sometimes I feel I deserve better. But I probably wouldn't find it or find anyone for that matter.

    Advice please???
    It's clearly not your fault. He sounds like a **** tbh. Some of the thing you said shouldn't be acceptable such as him telling you who he would like to shag. I think you should seriously consider breaking up with him. If you don't want to do that maybe stop making the effort with him and see if he is even bothered by it, if he will bother to travel to see you. If not definitely break up with him but i would do it now if i were you.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Tbh it sounds like he never really cared for your relationship, not that he stopped caring. Dump him.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    You put up with a lot! Dump him if he doesn't change, as he isn't being reasonable.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Im like the guy in this. Except I was the only one doing the travelling. So in the end I just became a "lad"

    now im single (as of this morning), no moping to be done, off to be a lad tonight :P
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    it's not your fault. he's showing no interest and being horrid!don't waste your time clinging on to a lad who doesn't treat you right just because you don't want to be "alone"
    Offline

    11
    ReputationRep:
    He is treating you like a fool and and making you look like an idiot. I know it's hard, but as all the other posters have already said, you need to cut loose.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Why is this forum so filled with girls with no self respect? You sound awesome... go find someone that deserves you!!!!
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I know a girl who was in this same position

    She just got used and treated like s**t all the time, they would always argue over the phone before the start of college, just couldn't work out what made her stay with him until he said some horrible things too her and she finally had some sense and got rid of him, he was begging for her back but she wasn't having none of it which was quiet humorous.

    Up to you if you want to go out with a ******** or find a decent guy who will actually treat you like a human and not a piece of meat, really do feel sorry for girls who go for these kind of guys.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    Dump him.Now.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    This might be a long post, so I am sorry in advance.

    I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for about 7 months. We kind of jumped head first into it, and fell in love quite quickly. The problem was we lived 40 miles apart- which meant spending money to see each other. It has always been me spending the money and doing the travelling. I don't mind, because I wanted to see him. And he usually brought my food and made up the money.

    But now things have gotten a bit well, I'm not sure how to phrase it. He spends all his money on certain things, which means that we can't go out together and I'm stuck eating toast the whole time I stay with him. But that isn't really the problem. He doesn't really appreciate what I do anymore. I have started a few arguments about various things, such as:

    1. I am bottom of his priorities list- he always says when hes with me that he wishes he was with "the boys". The fact he has no money for us to go out together because he spends it on this shows that too.

    2. The fact he doesn't appreciate the travelling I do. He even told me that if it was the other way round he wouldn't do it.

    3. He is always checking out and remarking on women when he's with me, telling me who he'd like to shag, and talking about porn. I don't really find it appropriate that he tells me this....he also boasts to me (and his mates) about bedding this girl that was underage.

    And he's always shouting at me/getting angry. Whatever I do. I went to see him, and he told me he doesn't want me there doing what I normally do, "moping", because he goes on msn and forums for hours, and I just sit there. He got angry at me and I cried, and felt so silly.

    He says that me starting arguments is making him think it would be easier if we broke up, making him question if it's worth it. This made me cry again, it's silly but if we broke up, I would have no one. All my friends went to uni and he's the only one I've got really.

    That day I thought having sex would fix it (yes, it's stupid), and ended up crying during it, although he didn't see/notice. Later I tried to initiate sex again but he wouldn't do it with me, again in the morning he shouted at me when I tried to kiss him.

    I feel like the relationship is falling apart because of me. Because I started these arguments. Maybe I was overreacting. I'm trying to do everything to fix it, I buy him stuff, I let him talk about other girls, I let him spend all the time when he's with me on msn talking to people. I feel like if I was perhaps a better girlfriend he would treat me better It sounds nuts, but that'show I feel.

    Sometimes I feel I deserve better. But I probably wouldn't find it or find anyone for that matter.

    Advice please???
    He's a prick and you're about as stable as a japanese fuel rod!

    Dump his ungrateful ass.
    Offline

    8
    ReputationRep:
    Sorry, but I find it difficult to believe what you wrote is true...and that you're actually that naive.

    Especialy the way you've written all those bad points (like being shouted at, bf admitting he wouldn come to see you, him talking about having sex with other girls, crying, him getting angry at you etc) and then yet question whether you deserve better. :rolleyes:

    How old are you?
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: March 23, 2011
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Has a teacher ever helped you cheat?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Write a reply...
    Reply
    Hide
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.