I quote from the marvellous Neoplitan:
"A day in the life of an Oxford don:-
I am awakened by my cat Apollonius jumping onto the bed. His loyal purring warms my breast until I recall that women have the vote. I struggle out of bed, and stumble down to the college hall where I order my traditional English breakfast in traditional Latin. I decide not to make an issue of the fact that my ova are scrambled because the boy serving has yet to master the past participle.
Gloomily I leave the hall and head for Blackwell's but forget what book it was I was looking for and am annoyed to find no member of staff who can tell me - even at the Information Desk! I ask directions to my department but only seem to be able to run into Oriental tourists, who prove unhelpful, no matter how loudly I shout at them. I make it into the department by coffee time. There is a note on my door from a graduate of mine (I think) who wonders where I was at ten. I ask my secretary to print off my emails for me, and spend the remainder of the morning wondering at the etymology of "viagra".
I make it into lunch which is pheasant - again! - and ponder what is happening to food in the college. I leave hall again, but miss my first tutorial as it is overcast and my sundial isn't working. In my second tutorial, the tyke, whose name I forget, has completed the sheet. He is rather smart for the progeny of chimney-sweeps and will no doubt get a first in spite of my best efforts. Darling Imogen, with whom he is paired, giggles delightfully throughout the whole hour. She smiles so sweetly I decide to ignore her more fundamental misunderstandings of basic material and give her an alpha minus.
Dinner at least is uneventful, and merited after such a long day's work. Though I am disappointed to hear that the butler has been granted time off to visit his ailing father. I had thought that Thatcher had broken the power of the unions way back! Instead his son buttles - a poor show as he needs to be reminded to put out the snuff, and can only find two varieties.
Exhausted, I head back to my room and slump comatose into my favourite armchair. My sleep untroubled in the certitude that I will put tomorrow to the same exemplary use."
enough said!!