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    Anon or delete please,
    Basically the last three years of my life have been really difficult for me. My Dad took ill with depression a long time ago and started drinking heavily as a result. This led into alcoholism and started having serious effects on family life. Things gradually deteriorated into lots of arguments and eventually domestic abuse. I was very aware of this and frequently had to stop things myself.
    About two years ago the police were brought into it and a restraining order was placed, however this did not stop him from finding out where we had moved to and trying to break in. My Mum never placed charges for this as she has always maintained that it was due to the depression.
    All of this made me very depressed for a number of years and only until recently I have started to recover. During this period I lost contact with most of my friends and became extremely introverted and anxious. Having seen the effects that alcohol can have first hand also convinced me not to drink, which is partly my reason for posting this.
    Since September I have started to rebuild many of my friendships and I am now very much part of the same group as before. However, this has led to many of my friends asking why I don't drink, I have tried to say that it's personal and for some of them this is good enough, but others still try to continually ask when we're out. To be honest this doesn't particularly bother me cos I know that they just find it a bit out of the norm. What does bother me though is what I should tell my girlfriend. I really feel like I should tell her partly why I don't drink rather than just avoiding the question. However, I have noticed that she doesn't drink as much now that we're together than before, and I certainly don't want her feeling guilty for drinking.
    What do you guys reckon I should tell her about it? Or do you reckon I should just leave it?
    TL;DR Alcohol issues with family led to me not drinking, want to tell girlfriend why rather than avoiding her questions. What's the best way?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Anon or delete please,
    Basically the last three years of my life have been really difficult for me. My Dad took ill with depression a long time ago and started drinking heavily as a result. This led into alcoholism and started having serious effects on family life. Things gradually deteriorated into lots of arguments and eventually domestic abuse. I was very aware of this and frequently had to stop things myself.
    About two years ago the police were brought into it and a restraining order was placed, however this did not stop him from finding out where we had moved to and trying to break in. My Mum never placed charges for this as she has always maintained that it was due to the depression.
    All of this made me very depressed for a number of years and only until recently I have started to recover. During this period I lost contact with most of my friends and became extremely introverted and anxious. Having seen the effects that alcohol can have first hand also convinced me not to drink, which is partly my reason for posting this.
    Since September I have started to rebuild many of my friendships and I am now very much part of the same group as before. However, this has led to many of my friends asking why I don't drink, I have tried to say that it's personal and for some of them this is good enough, but others still try to continually ask when we're out. To be honest this doesn't particularly bother me cos I know that they just find it a bit out of the norm. What does bother me though is what I should tell my girlfriend. I really feel like I should tell her partly why I don't drink rather than just avoiding the question. However, I have noticed that she doesn't drink as much now that we're together than before, and I certainly don't want her feeling guilty for drinking.
    What do you guys reckon I should tell her about it? Or do you reckon I should just leave it?
    TL;DR Alcohol issues with family led to me not drinking, want to tell girlfriend why rather than avoiding her questions. What's the best way?
    ..show her this thread. If she's your gf, you should really tell her the the truth- if she is who you think she is, she will understand. However, only you know how much you feel like sharing. Personally I would tell her everything. Unless your relationship is still new and you're not ready? Really your GF should be the one person you feel comfortable in confiding in...
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    Don't go into the whole thing if you don't want to, just say something simple like 'my dad was an alcoholic so I associate alcohol with the problems he caused for my family. I don't mind other people drinking, it's just not for me'. If she asks you to elaborate (which I doubt she will) just tell her it's in the past and you don't really want to bring it all up again. It sounds like you haven't been together so long, so I don't think it's necessary to tell her the full story if you don't feel comfortable doing so.
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    maybe say something like, 'my dad drank too much' and when she looks at you imagining the worst, you can just say that things were bad, but they are better now.

    she'll probably ask if you want to talk about it... and then the yes/no bit is up to you

    I'm so sorry you went through that xx
 
 
 
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