My mum died a year ago and the past few weeks I've felt really low. I'm usually ok but I just haven't been able to stop crying for the past month or so. I feel weird because she died 15 months ago and I feel like I should be past all this stage now if that makes sense.
Anybody else been in a similar situation? Will I always feel like this
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When should you start to 'move on' after somebody has died? watch
- Thread Starter
- 24-03-2011 15:48
- 24-03-2011 15:54
Everyone experiences grief in different ways and will take different amounts of time to get over the loss of a loved one. I'm of the opinion that losing a Mother is not something that you'll ever get over- but you will find ways to ease the pain, and will be able to move forward with your life, eventually. It will take time, though. You need to find things that you enjoy doing, and remember that more than anything your Mum would want you to be happy
- 24-03-2011 16:05
I would imagine it is a very gradual process, rather than one day you just suddenly start to heal and move past it. There are always going to be reminders that you've lost her, I suppose more than anything it's learning to deal with that.
There's very little any of us can say if we haven't been in your situation, but from similar experiences we can offer a little help. Don't ever feel pathetic or stupid for feeling sad, that's not going to help. Allow yourself time to reflect on her memory and mourn for her every now and then if that's necessary, so long as it isn't all consuming.
Just remember that although I'm sure she'd be happy to know she meant so much to you she also wouldn't want to think you weren't living your life to its fullest.
- 24-03-2011 16:25
To be honest wih you, it never get better! How can it? That doesn't mean that you will not get use to dealing with it and be able to carry on living your life! Death is such a terrible thing and can be completely devastating, which is why it is important to allow yourself to grieve, do not try and hold those tears in! Allow yourself to cry but also distract yourself by keeping busy. It is also important to share your grief with others who were close, be open about how you all feel, empathy really helps you know! Maybe talk to your dad, siblngs, aunts uncles i dunno grandparents. Important thing is share it with someone who is also feeling the pain but is close to you.
My deepest sympathies. Take care
- 24-03-2011 17:19
Cry as much as u want! Whenever u want!
There's not a person in the world who replaces the person ur mother(/mother figure) was!
Everyone experiences and copes with it in different ways and theres isnt a particular time when u move on, that is to say, IF u move on
The term "move on" seems really vague to because with someone like ur mum, can you really move on or get over it?
I mean, you can find ways to cope but personally, i think thats just about as far as it goes
- 24-03-2011 17:21
When you're ready? There's no statute of limitations on grief
- 24-03-2011 17:38
There is no time that you "should" take to get over grief. Everyone moves on in their own time and their own way, but it will happen, eventually.
I'm very sorry for your loss.
- 24-03-2011 17:50
It never truly gets better, you just learn to live with it as time goes on.
It's always going to have an effect on you and you can't force yourself to move on.
Let it out, cry, but don't let it completely overtake your life.