B/f problems ( I need your help) Watch

Clairehayz
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About 2 months ago, my b/f started to get really aggressive, we came back from holiday in august and everything was really lovely for about 2 weeks and then he just changed and it's like his evil twin has appeared or something, so firstly, why could this be???

Then as his moods were getting worse and worse and the way he was talking to me made me cry pretty much most of the time because I just didn't understand what was going on, I emailed someone (never met him) and it was purely for fun, I sent him a picture of me and a few sexy emails went back and forth....then my b/f found out.
There is no excuse for my actions but it shouldn't have got to that point where I needed someone else to make me feel good about myself and sexy etc as my b/f was so imcapable but it did and there's nothing I can do so I've encouraged my b/f to get over it, plus he cheated on me a year ago and I'm over it.
We have been arguing more and more lately and then at the weekend I couldn't take it anymore I just screamed at him and said "what's your problem atm" and he told me he hates me because of what I did and he doesn't think he will ever get over it. :confused: I tried to split up with him and he wouldn't let me and started crying and going into denial and saying I wasn't splitting up with him bla bla bla, and even though he really "loves" me and really wants to "be with me", he has still treated me like **** all this week and now I'm starting to hang out about with a couple of my ex's (and other mates) and one of them.......ahem......gave me a lovebite :eek: He's a bit of a **** actually, because he pinned me down and did it knowing my b/f would see it and flip. (When I was out with these people, I told my b/f I was with my best mate).

So now what the hell do I do? Stay with my b/f or get rid and do I tell him I've started to hang about with my old mates or keep it a secret and make sure he doesn't find out?!?!?!? :confused: :confused:

I'd really appreciate you help, anyone been in this situation and know what to do?
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Steve Stifler
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Flee the country.
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Clairehayz
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Very helpful.
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Steve Stifler
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You're welcome.
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TrentEnd
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err...bit of a weird situation really. Have you actually tried talking to each other? His actions sound bad but you haven't exactly been Miss Perfect yourself...

speak to each other ffs and you might sort something out
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Poica
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Murder him. Some point tomorrow night.
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Steve Stifler
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(Original post by Poica)
Murder him. Some point tomorrow night.
Then flee the country.
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Clairehayz
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(Original post by TrentEnd)
err...bit of a weird situation really. Have you actually tried talking to each other? His actions sound bad but you haven't exactly been Miss Perfect yourself...

speak to each other ffs and you might sort something out
Trust me I have the very best communication skills but they don't help when you're talking to a child and one who frustrates me so much I cry!

I discuss it with him but he denies anything is wrong.
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Poica
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(Original post by TomInPortsmouth)
Then flee the country.
Good plan.
Shall we just do it for her?
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emilyemily
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(Original post by claireharmz)
Trust me I have the very best communication skills but they don't help when you're talking to a child and one who frustrates me so much I cry!
I think you've answered your own question here. It sounds to me like he's not worth it.
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sebbie
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you lied to your boyfriend about being with your mate when you were with your ex's... you're as bad as him
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Icy Ghost
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dump him. you're not right for each other.
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LPK
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Some of you people are about as useful as a turtle in a 400 m race.

Anyway, you need to have a serious talk with him. If that does not work then he is not worth going out with. If he says you cannot break up with him and all that, you can! Show him he is in the wrong. He obviously seems to think he can run rings around you. If he wants your respect then he needs to earn it.
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Clairehayz
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Thankyou for your advice, you are probably right, and I really appreciate the fact you gave me a couple of sentences instead of a couple of words.

It's just I want to know why he was acting like a **** before I even emailed this other guy, are you sometimes liek that, you know, lash out at people for no reason?
He loses his temper so quickly and so unnecessarily.

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(Original post by sebbie)
you lied to your boyfriend about being with your mate when you were with your ex's... you're as bad as him
I never said I wasn't.
I asked for your advice not criticism.
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Steve Stifler
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Good plan, shall we just do it for her?
I would but I'm all booked up for assasinations until the new year now. :rolleyes:
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Segat1
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I think you need to dump him. Lets see]

1) he treats you like ****
2) he behaves bizzarely
3) he gets v v angry and possessive
4) you can clearly do much better
5) you're 17. Live a little
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LPK
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(Original post by claireharmz)
Thankyou for your advice, you are probably right, and I really appreciate the fact you gave me a couple of sentences instead of a couple of words.

It's just I want to know why he was acting like a **** before I even emailed this other guy, are you sometimes liek that, you know, lash out at people for no reason?
He loses his temper so quickly and so unnecessarily.
He obviously has a problem with something because he would not act like that for no reason. I never act like that to someone who does not deserve it. I let them know i am not in a happy mood, but i don't try and make them cry and boss them around. You need to let him know he is doing this, and if he is not willing to co-operate, leave him until he sorts his act out, or find someone you can be happy with and will treat you with respect.
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Clairehayz
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(Original post by Indu.Mitra)
I don't really know what to say to this.
I do think he loves u a lot.. but hes more angry at the moment. U thought of taking a little break? just so u both can get some space? find out what u really want?
Ask urself what r u getting from the relationship?
What is he getting?
Are u as compatible as u thought?
try taking whatever he says with a pinch of salt.. he probably doesnt mean to be nasty he just maybe coming across as he is.. because u havent felt he cares about u in a while.
I think he needs someone to talk to.
Why dont u put ur own needs aside and ask him what he wants from u? It seems like hes really hurting.. not over the emails.. but over something else?
I can't think of anything that he could be so annoyed about, I have asked him but he just says "sorry" or "I don't know" and when he says I don't know, I haven't got a hope in hell of getting a decent answer out of him.

The other day, when I went over my mates, when I got back, I asked if he was ok and not too jealous about me going out alot and he assumed I had cheated on him and started having a go at him.

We have been on a break before, but in the end I always go back, because I have really low confidence and self-esteem, I need him, and because of my parents I kinda have this analogy that having a bad relationship is better than none at all. :confused:

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(Original post by LPK)
He obviously has a problem with something because he would not act like that for no reason. I never act like that to someone who does not deserve it. I let them know i am not in a happy mood, but i don't try and make them cry and boss them around. You need to let him know he is doing this, and if he is not willing to co-operate, leave him until he sorts his act out, or find someone you can be happy with and will treat you with respect.
And this is the bad, I kinda know what to do, I stil don't understand his behaviour but I know I should leave but it's so much harder doing it than saying it and if I break up with him, I know exactly who I wil go to for comfort and then that wil reck all chances of me and my b/f sorting it out if he finds out but I can't avoid this person forever, or can I?
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CherryGarcia
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well, I have been in a sutiation with my BF when he behaved very agressive to me...and we also had a period when we fighted a lot...but we always found streight not make up and go on...
wanted to say 1st of all that you were very strong to get over the fact he did chaet on you, coz Id never be able to forgive it...you did great...and also wanted to say, that no one can actually tell you what you should do, coz anyway we dont know all ins and outs of the situation and we also cant see your feelings and his feelings...so, I think all you should do is calmely talk to ur BF, before that talk to yourself, think bout evrth and take your desicion, just try to understand what you really want, be with your bf, or withother guys and you dont want to be wiht your bf any longer...and then tell him ur decision...hope you will figure out what to do..just listen to your feelings and follow your heart =)
good luck =)
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Clairehayz
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(Original post by CherryGarcia)
well, I have been in a sutiation with my BF when he behaved very agressive to me...and we also had a period when we fighted a lot...but we always found streight not make up and go on...
wanted to say 1st of all that you were very strong to get over the fact he did chaet on you, coz Id never be able to forgive it...you did great...and also wanted to say, that no one can actually tell you what you should do, coz anyway we dont know all ins and outs of the situation and we also cant see your feelings and his feelings...so, I think all you should do is calmely talk to ur BF, before that talk to yourself, think bout evrth and take your desicion, just try to understand what you really want, be with your bf, or withother guys and you dont want to be wiht your bf any longer...and then tell him ur decision...hope you will figure out what to do..just listen to your feelings and follow your heart =)
good luck =)
Thankyou
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