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Suicide = Logical Decision? watch

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    suicide couldn't be any less logical, you're making a life ending decision based on very short term problems. :dontknow:
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    It will be a couple of years for you but when you work out what you want to do and you have a viable way to get there it seems like there is a reason to be. I just recently got an offer for uni, before that it felt like I was just living to live but now i have a goal.
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    the fact you haven't done it shows you're dubious.
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    I think it's safe to say you're not being fully logical. Especially when talking about your ethnicity.

    (Original post by Extended Arpeggio)
    Black
    This is probably the worst thing, I hate being black with a passion that is alien to my other friends (who are white), who can't understand my hatred, for myself and others. I wonder what It's like to be proud of your race...


    Ashamed of my background
    Now, this is where I'm going to offend people, but I'm not proud that I'm black. I mean, the most obvious thing to look at would be the fact that I'm living in the UK, instead of my homeland. Why is that? Is it because "white people invaded and took everything and we've been poor for a few hundred years?" No. It's because white people developed far before black people and countries with predominantly black people are still undeveloped. One thing I never hear black people mention is the fact that black people could have developed before white people. But enough of this.
    There is absolutely nothing wrong with being black and your history or culture has nothing to say about you, although many people would argue African culture is richer than white culture.

    Now, if you’re thinking about killing yourself, you can't seriously be bothered about the negative impact it will have on those around you, right? If so, why not just move out and do what you want? Travel, see the world, do whatever the hell you think will make you happy. Because in the end maybe you won't want to kill yourself because you might have seen how beautiful the world is.

    First though, I'd advise you to get some help, either through family or a professional, because I can guarantee you, people with worse genetic traits and environmental conditions have made something of themselves. There's no reason why you can't.
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    You're not thinking logically at all. You're looking at what you consider problems down a microscope - the things you can't change aren't worth topping yourself over (being black ffs) and the things you can change can by definition be changed providing you're not dead.
    You've just got to get some reasonable perspective on yourself instead of going round in self destructive circles.
    I also think you're massively understating your importance to your family.

    anyway just to demonstrate how illogical your thinking is; Beachy Head is such a massive suicide cliche - it's got it's own chaplaincy dedicated to talking suicides off the edge - you'd have to move like a greased ninja to get past the do-gooders there trying to stop you.
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    As Star Trek has taught us, the most logical decision isn't always the right one. You clearly don't want to commit suicide, you just want some reassurance hence the thread.
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    You have your whole life yet pal. Don't be stupid. You'll hurt more than you think.
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    (Original post by Extended Arpeggio)

    Black
    This is probably the worst thing, I hate being black with a passion that is alien to my other friends (who are white), who can't understand my hatred, for myself and others. I wonder what It's like to be proud of your race...
    Black people age better. While I'm all wrinkly by the age of 40, you won't be.

    (Original post by Extended Arpeggio)
    Ugly
    Almost as bad, no one wants to be ugly. I can't honestly look myself in the mirror and think that people would find me attractive, I'd be lieing to myself. The notion of society where you work hard in school, get a good career and then settle down eventually and have a family, no, not going to happen. At best, I'll get an average career and live alone.
    Oh come on, look at how many "ugly" people have made something of their lives?? I know LOTS, and no one is beautiful for the rest of their lives. Take Britney, for example.
    (Original post by Extended Arpeggio)
    Socially Inept
    Few friends, no close friends, won't have any after I leave school. Elaborating, I have ADD and AvPD. These two together are really, really bad combinations. Add that to the first two points and you can see my dilemma.
    How do you know you won't have any after you leave school? I've got tons of friends with disabilities at uni, people are generally more accepting than in school.

    (Original post by Extended Arpeggio)
    Unintelligent
    I'm doing adequate in school, PREDICTED A*s in the three Sciences, A* in maths, but then it goes down to b's and c's for all my other subjects. That's only good compared to the people in school who don't try. Meanwhile, some other people in my year are on all A*s. When I say not doing well, I mean not doing good enough. Now matter how hard I try, I'm simply not as intelligent as "the next guy" and If nothing else, I hoped I'd try to achieve at least something in terms of career. I wanted to be an aeronautical engineer. Heh, we all know that's not going to happen.
    I wanted to be a singer and I can't sing for sh*t. Just find something else you like and are able to do.

    (Original post by Extended Arpeggio)
    Family
    I have little contact with my family. Now when most people say this, they still talk to them fairly regularly. It just doesn't happen for me. Besides that, I don't really like my family (as bad as that sounds). My dad is uninspiring, my sisters are doing OK and my brother is again, doing OK. None of my relatives are doing anything that I consider to be an achievement.
    Does someone have to achieve something in order for you to like them? Lots of people don't talk to their family. I haven't talked to my brother in years and we live in the same house. I practically hate him, so what.

    (Original post by Extended Arpeggio)
    Nothing to look forward to
    I'm merely surviving. You know when people say "Live life to the fullest"? I'm not doing that and there isn't really a way for me to do that either. All the friends I wish I had, all the girls I wish I could get to know, not going to happen.
    Who DOES live his life to the fullest in school? :confused:

    (Original post by Extended Arpeggio)
    Ashamed of my background
    Now, this is where I'm going to offend people, but I'm not proud that I'm black. I mean, the most obvious thing to look at would be the fact that I'm living in the UK, instead of my homeland. Why is that? Is it because "white people invaded and took everything and we've been poor for a few hundred years?" No. It's because white people developed far before black people and countries with predominantly black people are still undeveloped. One thing I never hear black people mention is the fact that black people could have developed before white people. But enough of this.
    I'm an immigrant too and my parents' countries are ****holes, but that doesn't mean a thing. You live where you're meant to live.
    I've googled Avoidant personality disorder (you said you had it) and as far as I can see, everything you feel is due to this disorder. You should get treatment for it, and THEN decide if you still feel the same.
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    Suicide is bed one, I don't believe in it because only God giveth & taketh away. I've always felt they way & always will. Those who choose to end their own life, don't think about what the family left behind will go through.
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    You listen to a lot of music? I suggest listening to Jumper by Third Eye Blind

    Don't do it buddy.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_i1vMK4XaPk
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    You are depressed, lazy and hormonal. Go make things happen for yourself.
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    Doesn't matter if it's logical or not, it's still a selfish decision as someone else has to clean up your mess.

    What you're trying to say is 'it's alright to put my plates in the dishwasher because it's a logical decision.' Doesn't matter how logical it is, your flatmates will still think you're a douche.
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    Im almost offended at your mention of ADD being a potensial reason...
    I have ADD and i'm once of the most social people you'll meet. But i love my own company too! Yes sometimes it does mean i'll occasionally shut myself away for two-three days, but after that i'm happy and fresh to see the world. I love computer games and stuff... My mum who has ADHD is very much the same.

    I don't wish i didn't have ADD for one minute...I'm happy i have it...yes it presents itself with more difficulties on a day to day basis, and i struggle major to concentrate in lectures and consequently struggle at university on a day to day basis but because of this i've learn many things other's have not.

    My mind works differently, i excel in subjects other's may find uninteresting. I struggle massively with repetative work but what's the point in boring **** with no challenges anyway?

    You family don't sound bad at all, certainly not bad a reason enough to be a reason to commit suicide - My dad was an alcoholic, violent, we had to run away to refuges. All my mum 5 brothers and sister are drug abusers, alcoholics, in and out of prison. My mum the onle person i cared about then tried to commit suicide and it stopped me getting properly close to people. I don't talk to any of my family members apart from my Mum every now and then...apart from my Mum, the majority of family members have said some extremely nasty things about me, 'she'll end up dead like her Dad', 'She'll be pregnent at 13'...whenver i was asked what i was doing after secondary school and i replied 'University' i was called a posh snotty ***** (i live in a poor part of london btw lol).

    Does that stop me? Hell no! My life experiences and knowledge are important aspects of who i am and help drive me to my achivements. I have some experiences not many other people have had. I can use them to my advantage. Like for example having ADD makes me understand people with disabilities more....i know i can't do boring jobs so i work during the holidays at a playscheme for kids with disabilities (autism, adhd, down syndrome, aspergers, etc) and i LOVE it! Keep busy and on my feet, need to be quick thinking and quick acting...play with the kids...it's just great....But i have to do something active either mentally of physically...I know i couldnt cope sitting behind a till in tesco or any other retail shop.

    And being Black means nothing. Perhaps the reason black people didn't 'progress' as quickly as white as you put it is simply down to habbitat. Perhaps Black people lived so much in harmoney, they were content and thus didn't need to strive to improve every single aspect of their lives. They were happy.

    And that's a far better history to have, a culture that has caused much less blood shed.

    Why shouldn't you kill yourself? Well, i'm not here to tell you what you should or shouldnt do....but i think you doing so would be a massive waste of experiences and life...Think of all the things you have to share just by having difficulties...think of all the things you can eventually share when you overcome them, the advice you can give, the people you can help...
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    (Original post by Extended Arpeggio)
    I wanted to be an aeronautical engineer. Heh, we all know that's not going to happen.
    Just thought I'd tell you that there are differing routes into this career, University isn't the only way

    My boyfriend is coming out of a 4 year apprenticeship with Airbus in Aeronautical Engineering and he didn't have 'awesome' GCSEs

    Seriously, whilst I have no real answer for the rest of your post, there is always something to live for.
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    Just know that no life is perfect. And if your life were continuously, perpetually happy every minute of every day, it would just seem monotonous. It's the struggle that makes us stronger and which makes all the happy moments even better.

    I'm a minority, too (hispanic), but I learned that if all the world were the same, there'd be no variety, no added colour to our world, if you can excuse the pun. People often ask questions about my background, and I can tell they're interested in learning something new. Maybe others would express similar interest in who you are if you let them.

    Be proud of the individual you are. Own it. There will never be another person like you.
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    (Original post by Ape Gone Insane)
    Failed attempts.
    Since a very high percentage of people who try and fail to commit suicide go on to try again, they can't regret it too much.
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    (Original post by Chucklefiend)
    Since a very high percentage of people who try and fail to commit suicide go on to try again, they can't regret it too much.
    it's a bit more complicated than that... suicidal feelings are temporary but can return again after a period
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    It seems to me that you are unhappy with your life because it is 'average'. So, instead of trying to change things you can't change (e.g. being black) why don't you try changing things that you can? Go out and find an activity you really enjoy - it can be playing an instrument, doing sport, joining a club of some sort. You'll meet new people, have an interest in something you enjoy and might find that you start to enjoy life better. You're only young and life's not all about exams. There are plenty of people who succeed in life without good grades (and by the sounds of it, yours aren't all that bad).

    Put it this way: if you kill yourself you'll never know what you can achieve. Think of it as a challenge. Get yourself out of this feeling - prove to yourself you can do better. Set yourself little goals each week e.g. this week I'm going to talk to someone I don't usually talk to. This week I'm going to join a club. This week I'm going to get on really well with my parents. Build it up like that. Soon you'll start to see that your life really isn't that bad. You're young, you have your whole life to lead - who says it has to stay the same?

    YOU are in control of your life - no one else. Only you can change it for the better. *hugs*
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    (Original post by Extended Arpeggio)
    Unintelligent
    I'm doing adequate in school, PREDICTED A*s in the three Sciences, A* in maths, but then it goes down to b's and c's for all my other subjects. That's only good compared to the people in school who don't try. Meanwhile, some other people in my year are on all A*s. When I say not doing well, I mean not doing good enough. Now matter how hard I try, I'm simply not as intelligent as "the next guy" and If nothing else, I hoped I'd try to achieve at least something in terms of career. I wanted to be an aeronautical engineer. Heh, we all know that's not going to happen.
    Now I know there are plenty more issues to be adressed here, but I think that's been done adequately above. In terms of specifically relating to the unintelligent bit that's not what you are.

    Firstly predictions are nothing more than that, predictions. Trying hard has more benefit than many people realise. Sure there are some people doing better than you at the moment, but learning how to work hard is just as important. Maybe not right now but in a few years time, that will have paid off.

    Secondly A*s in maths and sciences are pretty damn good! The main requirements (the only in a lot of cases) for engineering at university are maths and physics. With A*s you'll certainly be considered and will probably be offered a place at university for engineering.

    The people who get where they want immediately after university aren't the ones who got the best GCSE or A-level grades. They're the ones who've shown a passion for what they want to do, and have worked hard at it. Over a 4 year engineering course people can move from mid to low in the year to mid first easily.

    In conclusion, in this specific case I think you don't realise quite how much potential you have.

    And in addition to what others have said you've got much more to look forward to and with a slight change in attitude and a bit more time trying to get to know people who you want to get to know (just a simple hi is usually a good first step) your outlook can change dramatically.

    There's so much of life left to live, and with a few changes to your lifestyle to enjoy. Go do just that
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    (Original post by Extended Arpeggio)
    I don't know how it is for others, but for me, the decision to kill myself has always been a logical thought process. I think about it everyday now, taking into account every single detail, from the possible afterlife, to trying to see if there's anything to live for.

    Black
    This is probably the worst thing, I hate being black with a passion that is alien to my other friends (who are white), who can't understand my hatred, for myself and others. I wonder what It's like to be proud of your race...

    Being proud of race is pointless, it's a joke; why should I or anyone be proud of people who I never met for things they did before I was born? How many intellectuals do you see wrapped in the flag, singing the national anthem?

    Ugly
    Almost as bad, no one wants to be ugly. I can't honestly look myself in the mirror and think that people would find me attractive, I'd be lieing to myself. The notion of society where you work hard in school, get a good career and then settle down eventually and have a family, no, not going to happen. At best, I'll get an average career and live alone.

    Getting girls is more about confidence, if you act confident it suggests that you have a lot going for you (Whether it's true or not), afterall someone with a lot going for them is likely to have some fine alleles for babymaking, it's basic evolutionary biology really.
    Socially Inept
    Few friends, no close friends, won't have any after I leave school. Elaborating, I have ADD and AvPD. These two together are really, really bad combinations. Add that to the first two points and you can see my dilemma.

    You'll make friends at university, also at university odd fellows (such as yourself) are more likely to be accepted and liked.

    Unintelligent
    I'm doing adequate in school, PREDICTED A*s in the three Sciences, A* in maths, but then it goes down to b's and c's for all my other subjects. That's only good compared to the people in school who don't try. Meanwhile, some other people in my year are on all A*s. When I say not doing well, I mean not doing good enough. Now matter how hard I try, I'm simply not as intelligent as "the next guy" and If nothing else, I hoped I'd try to achieve at least something in terms of career. I wanted to be an aeronautical engineer. Heh, we all know that's not going to happen.

    Apart from maths and science, what other subjects require intelligence at GCSE? English is quoting text before regurgitating arguments the teacher provided you with, and languages are memorising a few set questions and their answers. You seem like a clever guy when it comes to maths and science, take them for a-levels, do well (Which you seem capable of) and you're sorted.

    Family
    I have little contact with my family. Now when most people say this, they still talk to them fairly regularly. It just doesn't happen for me. Besides that, I don't really like my family (as bad as that sounds). My dad is uninspiring, my sisters are doing OK and my brother is again, doing OK. None of my relatives are doing anything that I consider to be an achievement.

    Most people are not exceptional (de facto), but it seems that you could be the guy who does well in your family

    Nothing to look forward to
    I'm merely surviving. You know when people say "Live life to the fullest"? I'm not doing that and there isn't really a way for me to do that either. All the friends I wish I had, all the girls I wish I could get to know, not going to happen.

    How many people really live life to the fullest? Most people just order another pint and continue as normal

    Ashamed of my background
    Now, this is where I'm going to offend people, but I'm not proud that I'm black. I mean, the most obvious thing to look at would be the fact that I'm living in the UK, instead of my homeland. Why is that? Is it because "white people invaded and took everything and we've been poor for a few hundred years?" No. It's because white people developed far before black people and countries with predominantly black people are still undeveloped. One thing I never hear black people mention is the fact that black people could have developed before white people. But enough of this.

    Nations rise and fall, you just happen to be a black man in africa's darkest hour. In a century or two Europe could be a s***hole and Africa could be the greatest continent.

    PS, there have been great African civilisations in the past

    Suicide Spot
    I've chosen Beachy Head. Look it up on google if you're interested. 530ft Tall IRC. I would chose the golden gate bridge If I was in America, but I'm not and besides that, Beachy Head cliff is much taller.

    The Afterlife
    One of the deciding factors. It can't be ignored, people who would ignore this are well, confident to say the least . I'm an atheist, but to be honest, I don't think It would do much good to attempt to feign any kind of belief in a religion to attempt to get me into heaven. Besides that, there are hundreds of religions, who says I would pick the right one? I've decided that, to not kill myself because of religious worries would just be prolonging the inevitable.

    I'm sorry what do you mean by the last sentence?

    When
    Depends. I can't decide to be honest. I don't know which day of the week, which month, which year to do it on.

    Suicide Note
    There's too much I would have to say If I let a suicide note. I might just forgo it completely. I have no-one to blame but myself, my family would "go through the motions of grieving" and then one week later be fine about it.



    I listen to music nowadays, all day, as soon as I get home from school. It helps me relax. (Drum & Bass, Dubstep, Rock ) There's nothing really going for me now, there won't be in ten years, so why shouldn't I kill myself? Half of you probably hate me for what I think about black people now anyway. I just don't see the point in living like this. None of the things that are wrong with me I can change, unlike other people who are suicidal. I'll never be white, never be attractive, never be able to be social and always be a loser. That's my last point actually. I'm a loser. I should have just said that at the beginning and saved you guys the TL;DR.
    I play games in all my spare time, have done since I was... eight I think. There's nothing else for me to do. I'm still **** at it, I've found that I'm **** at anything I try at. I don't feel particularly sad at the moment, the years have numbed the mental pain to the point where It's just normality.

    Learn an instrument, paint, write a novel, continue with gaming it really doesn't matter try to have fun.

    Edit: Almost forgot the question: Why shouldn't I kill myself.
    Radiator pants:beer:

    Also I'm sorry that it looks like I am quoting myself the bold is my bits.
 
 
 
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