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Overheard girls talk about how I hadn't had a first kiss yet. watch

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    Our study area is divided into little sections with screens so a few girls in my sixth form didn't really notice that I was there when they walked in. I didn't bother speaking to them because I had work I needed to get done so they had no clue that I was around. I wouldn't have started a conversation with them anyway as they aren't my close friends. I would say they are the people that I talk to but I can't act silly around them. I speak to them only because we do some of the same subjects.

    Anyway, they were chatting and I wasn't paying attention until one of them mentioned my name! I listened in a bit and they were talking about all the girls who were virgins in my sixth form and stuff. And then they started this conversation about how I've never had a bf, never been kissed, still a virgin etc etc. It wasn't malicious/mean/*****y or anything but there were times when I thought, they'd never say that to me to my face. They was almost pitying me to the point where it sounded like I was hopeless in love. Like one of the girls said that I was "clueless" and that I "wouldn't know what to do in bed". Another one said that she "didn't get the point of her being so intelligent if she can't get a man in her life". And then she said "Obviously she isn't that intelligent then!":rolleyes:

    It just got me a bit upset because I feel really inadequate now just because I haven't had a bf, that first kiss ever. I wouldn't say I'm ugly or pretty to be honest. I'm a bit simple, not really plain, because I do like looking nice even though I am a 'geek' or whatever and I like to be sociable, go out and look nice. It's just made me question myself really and I just feel like I'm being judged just because I've never had a bf. No guy has really ever liked me. I don't think I'm a horrible person either. My friends think I'm funny and kind but we don't go on about that. I'm just nothing special and what's upsetting me is that I feel like there's something wrong in me which is why no guy has ever liked me/told me he liked me if he did.

    Sorry for the ramble but I just feel a bit upset and having that whole questioning myself and my life thing. I don't think what they said was mean, I'm not one to hold grudges and things but I just felt it was inappropriate coming out of them.
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    Stop caring what they think. You'll get your first bf and first kiss etc etc whenever it happens. Some people get it earlier, some people get it later. Big deal.
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    Who gives a **** what they think? Think about it, they're spending time talking about you.
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    Dont question anything, be your own person. Im in exatctly the same situation, I focus on my studies becuase I want to go to a good uni, and for that im classed as a 'geek' despite the fact I love going out and socialising, people just seem to presume I spend all my time doing work just because I focus at college.

    Basically just dont give up, your not the only one!
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    They sound jealous that you are cleverer than them. So to "pull" you down to make themselves feel better, they are talking about your inexperience to show themselves they are better than you. Ignore them.

    You will find someone when it is right, don't worry about it.
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    Ignore them.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Our study area is divided into little sections with screens so a few girls in my sixth form didn't really notice that I was there when they walked in. I didn't bother speaking to them because I had work I needed to get done so they had no clue that I was around. I wouldn't have started a conversation with them anyway as they aren't my close friends. I would say they are the people that I talk to but I can't act silly around them. I speak to them only because we do some of the same subjects.

    Anyway, they were chatting and I wasn't paying attention until one of them mentioned my name! I listened in a bit and they were talking about all the girls who were virgins in my sixth form and stuff. And then they started this conversation about how I've never had a bf, never been kissed, still a virgin etc etc. It wasn't malicious/mean/*****y or anything but there were times when I thought, they'd never say that to me to my face. They was almost pitying me to the point where it sounded like I was hopeless in love. Like one of the girls said that I was "clueless" and that I "wouldn't know what to do in bed". Another one said that she "didn't get the point of her being so intelligent if she can't get a man in her life". And then she said "Obviously she isn't that intelligent then!":rolleyes:

    It just got me a bit upset because I feel really inadequate now just because I haven't had a bf, that first kiss ever. I wouldn't say I'm ugly or pretty to be honest. I'm a bit simple, not really plain, because I do like looking nice even though I am a 'geek' or whatever and I like to be sociable, go out and look nice. It's just made me question myself really and I just feel like I'm being judged just because I've never had a bf. No guy has really ever liked me. I don't think I'm a horrible person either. My friends think I'm funny and kind but we don't go on about that. I'm just nothing special and what's upsetting me is that I feel like there's something wrong in me which is why no guy has ever liked me/told me he liked me if he did.

    Sorry for the ramble but I just feel a bit upset and having that whole questioning myself and my life thing. I don't think what they said was mean, I'm not one to hold grudges and things but I just felt it was inappropriate coming out of them.
    but you *ARE* inadequate because you haven't had a bf, that first kiss ever. you can hardly fault your friends for telling the truth.

    yes, there is something probably wrong with you as well, as there are something with anyone who's never had a bf/gf. In the case of girls, it's likely because you're too ugly, plenty of guys like girls who are total *****es and psychos.

    c'est la vie, and the truth is what the truth is.
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    I had a similar experience in my first year of sixth form, except it was a lot more *****y and childish and from girls who had decided that they hated me for no reason. I didn't have any really close friends and I spent a lot of time alone, so it was easy for them to pick on me. The whole thing was basically about me having never had a boyfriend and being a virgin. They tried to spread the 'rumour' around but it fell on deaf ears because a lot other people were too and nobody really cared. I tried to make out that I didn't care, but it did get to me when they started doing it. Two of them ended up failing their summer AS exams and dropping out and the other two were lost without the 'leader,' so they left me alone.

    ...Sorry, I had a little ramble of my own. If you ignore them, they will stop eventually. Honestly, there's no reason to be ashamed of being a virgin or having been kissed at your age. Loads of people, including myself, don't have their first real relationship until they go to uni. Just because you haven't met the right guy yet, doesn't mean you won't
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    (Original post by The-Real-One)
    but you *ARE* inadequate because you haven't had a bf, that first kiss ever. you can hardly fault your friends for telling the truth.

    yes, there are something probably wrong with you as well, as there is something with anyone who's never had a bf/gf. In the case of girls, it's likely because you're too ugly, plenty of guys like girls who are total *****es and psychos.

    c'est la vie, and the truth is what the truth is.
    You're just trying to be a douchebag, aren't you?
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    I know it must be upsetting, but the best thing to do is ignore what you heard. There's nothing wrong with you. For some it happens earlier, for some it happens later. I bet they'd be absolutely mortified if they knew you'd overheard! Just keep your dignity, try not to let it affect you, and move on.
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    (Original post by Philbert)
    You're just trying to be a douchebag, aren't you?
    I don't even have to try love.
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    (Original post by Philbert)
    You're just trying to be a douchebag, aren't you?
    Agreed. ¬¬
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    (Original post by The-Real-One)
    but you *ARE* inadequate because you haven't had a bf, that first kiss ever. you can hardly fault your friends for telling the truth.

    yes, there is something probably wrong with you as well, as there are something with anyone who's never had a bf/gf. In the case of girls, it's likely because you're too ugly, plenty of guys like girls who are total *****es and psychos.

    c'est la vie, and the truth is what the truth is.
    DUDE- STFU OR GTFO

    OP, just ignore them coz they're opinions are not valuable, do what you want, be clever, dont change who u r
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    Refuse to be judged by other people's standards. So what if you haven't been kissed yet, what are you like 17? It's really no big deal.

    It is sad that they have to compare their love lives to yours in order to increase their self esteem. But then again there are some desperately insecure people in this world.

    Brush it off and enjoy your life!
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    (Original post by The Polar Dude)
    DUDE- STFU OR GTFO

    OP, just ignore them coz they're opinions are not valuable, do what you want, be clever, dont change who u r
    my opinion is as valuable as anyone's. clearly i share the same opinion with her friends, whose opinions she no doubt finds enlightening and valuable.
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    Don't worry - this will all disappear when you leave school, which feels like the whole world when you're there. You say you're in the sixth form, so wherever you go next - uni, college, the real world, anywhere - will bring you in contact with females who have better things to do than make trivial little judgements about you, and with males who are as smart as you are and will want to be with you - and they won't care if you've only kissed your teddy bear before, or whether you're a virgin, or whatever a bunch of girls in some school thought they knew about you. Don't question your life even slightly - it'll be starting soon and you'll want to enjoy it.
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    (Original post by Philbert)
    If you ignore them, they will stop eventually. Honestly, there's no reason to be ashamed of being a virgin or having been kissed at your age. Loads of people, including myself, don't have their first real relationship until they go to uni. Just because you haven't met the right guy yet, doesn't mean you won't
    Couldn't have put it better myself. There will be many, many others in your sixth form who are exactly the same. I'm in sixth form and like you, am still waiting for my first kiss/to be noticed by guys in that way. I think it's more likely to happen at uni where it's a fresh start and you meet new people, that's what I'm hopinhg will happen for me anyway

    On another note, those girls are obviously insecure if they feel the need to ***** about others, and it's unlikely that anything they've ever done with a guy had led to a nice, meaningful relationship. They've most likely either had drunken one night stands or have suffered horrible breakups. Most relationships in school/sixth form don't end well. I have a friend who's on her 3rd boyfriend in 2 years and picking up the pieces the other two times was not pretty.

    Anyway, don't worry about it there are many more of us in the same situation as you than you think and it's perfectly normal. A huge amount of people have their first relationship at uni. Good luck and all the best x
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    Well it's easy to say just ignore them, but that doesn't really help with the situation. What has been said has been said, they weren't being malicious towards you and they're not bullying you, they're just being a bit *****y. It's not like you can ignore something you overheard. I've overheard people, friends actually, talking about me before, not in a malicious way, just a little bit of *****ing (which let's be honest, we all do), and it really hurt. It wasn't even a big thing, but hearing people talk about you is horrible.

    As for your situation, well I see where your coming from, in sixth form, never even had a kiss, everyone around you is having sex or whatever, I don't imagine it's particularly nice for you, and you can't exactly ignore what you're feeling on the inside. My advice would just be to accept it, if you haven't had a boyfriend or a kiss, and you're not really bothered, get on with what is more important to you. If it is something that is really bothering you however, which is completely understandable, all I would say is be more sociable, talk to people, go to parties, etc., it's bound to happen sooner or later.
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    Ignore The-Real-One's comment, he's a douche. I'm in EXACTLY the same situation as you, there's nothing wrong with you, don't feel inadequate, I know it's hard as I often feel the same If you want any advice from a similar person, leave me a visitor message and I'll get back to you as I have to go now
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    I bet they'd be absolutely mortified if they knew you'd overheard!
    This.

    OP, you should have turned the situation around and just gone over and said "Hi, What are you guys talking about?" Just to embarrass the hell out of them and make them feel a bit of what you were feeling.
 
 
 
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