first a little backround info, i'm 18 [year 14?] she's 17 [year 12] [but quite ahead of her years because her best friend/sister is 21 and she hangs with her]
known this girl for about 5 months, went on a first date 4 months ago. Since then we've had our good times and our not so good times, because she goes to boarding school in the week and her weekends are very limited, it took its toll. We've never been serious but niether of us really want that, we just have fun with each other. I'm a Virgin but you wouldn't think so. Basicly i have an inner belief that the first time should be with someone i respect and know, and one night stand offers and past relationships have never offered that so i've held out, as hard as that is for me, a horny bastard heh.
This girl though, we have so much fun, she's up for a party but very respectfull. The first time i kissed her was after a date rather then being hammered, which was a nice change. She's very respectable. I always though she could be "the one" that i'd like to lose it to. But then i'd wait for her to be comfortable to bring it up, as due to what she thought of me, she probably assumed i was capable of being a player and just trying to "bag" her. Always assumed she was a virgin but never confirmed.
But then the other night, we had some bottles of wine and quite a passionate kiss and cuddle in bed for hours, bringing her to say "i want you" "you want me?" "i want YOU" seductively. I said, why not, there and then ,but she said no, out of respect for her sister [it was her bed], and that her parents were in the next room [yea good idea, dont want any fathers to kick my ass].
The next day on an msn chat, i brought up that, look, in 3 weeks we're both going away [she's going to south africa for a month, i'm going to florida], and i said, i feel that we have this current magic and we're at the closest point we've been intimately, and it'd be really nice to have a special night with you before we both leave, because when we get back it may have drifted. I think she was abit uncomfortable that she'd been so open so it was hard to talk about it, but i really just tried to stress, that if we both want to do it we should do it now while we both obviously want it. I pointed out to her that i'd never brought up sex after all this time [to try and show that i care about more then just that, which i do obviously], and she quickly got defensive saying if i'm looking for a well done for not just bagging her on the first meeting then i wont be getting it, which hurt me because i obviously reject girls that would be let "Bag them" on the first meeting.
It played on my mind that night, that i had made myself look bad, like that i just wanted another notch on the bedpost before we both leave. So i made the decision to write an email saying blah blah my belief is, i'm actually a virgin waiting for the right person, i've done everything else and rejected sex many times, but i want it to be special with someone i can look back on and say "She was a good girl" etc, and i feel that way with you.
Bear in mind i only told her this because i thought she was a virgin aswell, i know non virgin girls would generally be turned off by this. But she replied saying she respected me, that yes she was also a virgin, etc.
Essentially with this girl, as we're not serious, we dont talk openly about too many things, but we are intimate and unspokely commited, even though she has some issues where she doesnt think she is good enough for me and tells me i dont have to commit. We're both on the same level of understanding, though all this buisness has made me sound very deep and possibly scared her, but i just wanted to be honest.
So, did i do the right thing? On the one hand i could have left her thinking i was experianced, didn't care what i slept with, and that i possibly just wanted to "bag her"
But i figured that a respectable virgin girl would like the idea of losing it to a guy who is the same, who she knows well, etc. OTOH she may feel like i may get really attached to her, as it means something to me. But more then anything i'd be releived, that i lost it to someone who was decent
I'm waiting to see what happens, but just wondering what you girls generally think?