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I will die by suicide at some point in my life. watch

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    (Original post by kerily)
    Without wanting to make every TSR thread about my mental health issues, I have been self-harming and suicidal for the past 5-6 years and made numerous suicide attempts before. I've also had a minor alcohol problem. I went to my GP saying this when I was 13 and everything was just starting, and got told I was fine, despite having attempted suicide; I then went to my GP a couple of weeks ago, told them about the 5-6 years of history, and again, yeah, apparently it's just my period. :rolleyes: I realise I come over as a disillusioned cynic, but having such faith in the mental health system is perhaps a trifle naive - people with real problems do get told to go away. I also have a friend who's been diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia and has told her GP multiple times that she thinks she's going to severely damage someone else or herself, and begged to be admitted to a secure unit because she honestly believes she's going to do something awful. Her GP refuses to admit her to hospital.

    It scares me to think that this may be repeated up and down the country :eek:
    That is really unfortunate that despite having that type of schizophrenia and her thoughts, she has been unable to get further help. However, I don't know the ins and outs so it's difficult to comment more.
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    You should probably go and see a therapist about that.
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    (Original post by Ape Gone Insane)
    This isn't a counter-argument or anything, but more a point of note. I completely understand the point about the end result of being depression for X amount of years, but I don't wholly agree with it. I understand that it is ultimately a horrible result (crappy job, old age, no friends, no family and a general crap life)

    But it's something? Maybe it is just me, but I find the thought of death utterly terrifying. To have lived, breathed, felt joy (at some point if any), felt depressed - it's all an integral point of my existence. It is me. Of course, you don't have those crucial aspects which make it worth being you, but you still exist. Some say what is the point in existing at all? But at least you exist in the first place.

    Setting aside religion, once you're dead, you're dead. Not for a finite amount of time, but forever. And with it goes your consciousness. So for me it boils down to, if we all go to the same place sooner or later, going by choice is just taking away from the point of it all. To exist.

    I realise that is a totally incoherent post. Don't mind me. :getmecoat:
    Isn't that the whole point of suicide? It's better to cease existing entirely than continue to live? That's the beauty of it, not only do you end the crappy existence but you never, ever have any chance of it happening again. You continue to live, even recovered from depression and that chance remains.

    I realize you weren't arguing against just making a point, but I thought it'd be rude to leave you hanging.
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    (Original post by NellGwynne)
    The only chances a person has of dying of suicide is if they commit it. Obviously.

    So, don't commit it and the chances are like 100% to none.
    thankyou, o'wise one

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    (Original post by Emor)
    What do you mean 'So what?'. You're inflicting pain onto others with little regard. But if you're fine with that, then fine, w.e, but don't let onto people that it's justified.

    And I know I don't have to, I just prefer doing so since I've been doing it for years(the first forums I used didn't have a signature function and it was the norm to type one at the end of every post, and it continued onto later versions with better software, and most people don't seem to have a problem with it so meh).

    EMZ.
    Okay I came off as pretty callous, but I feel like I'm being emotionally blackmailed. I would NEVER ask one of my friends to keep living and undergo that daily torture when he doesn't want to, just to make me feel better, and I'm not going to have this asked of me. Life isn't enjoyable for everyone, and sometimes no amount of counselling or waiting can change that.

    I would try and break off any relationships before killing myself.
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    (Original post by mathperson)
    OK, firstly I just want to say this is not a thread that has been made because I've had a bad day, and is it not a simple rant.

    I'm not clinically depressed at the moment, and so am not in receipt of any counselling or medication therapy.

    However, as many people on TSR will be aware, I have experienced real, and severe, depression 1 year back (which I had for about 18 months - 2 years in total, but feelings of 'being down'/upset for probably 3 years to be realistic).

    I just feel that at some point, maybe in the next six months, maybe in the next 10 years (though I must admit I don't think it will be that long at all) that I will die by suicide.

    I'm not writing this thread because I expect someone to reply with a well rehersed answer, just because I feel as though I would like to express it.

    Thanks.
    So if you're feeling Ok at the moment, why do u think you'll die by suicide? Is it just a feeling, or how you prefer to die?
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    (Original post by mathperson)
    thankyou, o'wise one

    Hi MP. We have met briefly before on the depression society. I know how you feel, I attempted in October, by pure chance (bad or good, haven't decided) I survived. But afterwards I was terrified by the prospect of eternity. How if they is no religion (if there was basically all major religions say I would burn in Hell for ever, fun) then an eternity of nothing scares me so much. I know life can be so so bad but does the thought of never ending dark not ever, apart from comfort, frighten you?
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    (Original post by innerhollow)
    Okay I came off as pretty callous, but I feel like I'm being emotionally blackmailed. I would NEVER ask one of my friends to keep living and undergo that daily torture when he doesn't want to, just to make me feel better, and I'm not going to have this asked of me. Life isn't enjoyable for everyone, and sometimes no amount of counselling or waiting can change that.

    I would try and break off any relationships before killing myself.
    Okay, if I'm honest, I'm not being completely objective. No one close to my has committed suicide, but I am definitely influenced by my emotions.

    I don't think you should kill yourself, and I genuinely feel like you don't have a thorough comprehension of the damage that will occur if you do kill yourself. I'd bring in an anecdote(take away the positive connotations, even though people would probably find it interesting because they're morbid like that) but tbh I think it'd be somewhat disrespectful.

    EMZ.
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    (Original post by Emor)
    Okay, if I'm honest, I'm not being completely objective. No one close to my has committed suicide, but I am definitely influenced by my emotions.

    I don't think you should kill yourself, and I genuinely feel like you don't have a thorough comprehension of the damage that will occur if you do kill yourself. I'd bring in an anecdote(take away the positive connotations, even though people would probably find it interesting because they're morbid like that) but tbh I think it'd be somewhat disrespectful.

    EMZ.
    I'm not some dumb child who is throwing around the word "suicide" for the fun of it. I understand how devastating and soul-destroying suicide it is for the people who are "left behind", and how it alienates them from everyone else. And I know how awful I would feel if one of my loved ones committed suicide. But I would never want one of my loved ones to remain alive for the benefit of others, so that won't stop me if and when I decide to commit suicide.
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    (Original post by innerhollow)
    I'm not some dumb child who is throwing around the word "suicide" for the fun of it. I understand how devastating and soul-destroying suicide is, and how it alienates you from everyone else. And I know how awful I would feel if one of my loved ones committed suicide. But that won't stop me if and when I decide to commit suicide.
    For most it would, which leads me to have that impression of you. But meh.

    EMZ.
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    My mate used to feel a similar way, but he studied the topic while at university and it put him off the idea.

    His thinking was, "The world is a horrid place and everyone in it is selfish, it's all survival of the fittest etc; I want out of it." But then he read a piece that said the subconscious believes it’s immortal and thus some people that commit suicide do so picturing themselves being discovered. He'd never realised he was doing that, but then thought it's kind of a way of having power over others - which is selfish in itself. It's causes a lot of hurt and upset for the people you are closest to (realise it or not), just so that you can get a nice little obit written about your tragic death in the local paper or what have you for a wider audience of people who ultimately view your death as entertainment. And it's a bit pathetic and immature. And it doesn't work, because after you die, people use your tragic death to validate their own arguments (not whichever ones you would’ve wanted to make) - "It's what Kurt Cobain would have said," or whatever. So it's a completely counterproductive exercise. My mate gradually dropped the suicidal thoughts and was just depressed for ages, until he left uni and after a long time got a decent job and was then happy as he was a bit higher up the Darwinian food chain. He told me this a few weeks ago over a few pints.

    Does that help?
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    (Original post by Emor)
    For most it would, which leads me to have that impression of you. But meh.

    EMZ.
    This conversation is becoming very laborious now. You have no say in whether some guy on the internet you don't know at all commits suicide or not. Considering I've not expressed any intent to commit suicide in the near future, your desperate attempt to save me from hurting my friends/family or whatever is just overly dramatic.
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    (Original post by innerhollow)
    This conversation is becoming very laborious now. You have no say in whether some guy on the internet you don't know at all commits suicide or not. Considering I've not expressed any intent to commit suicide in the near future, your desperate attempt to save me from hurting my friends/family or whatever is just overly dramatic.
    I'm not desperate. And I'm pretty sure you did. I'm just irritated with your initial post the glorified suicide(which it did).

    Tbh if you just want to agree to disagree then it's fine since this isn't really getting anywhere. Or just not reply.

    EMZ.
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    (Original post by mathperson)
    thankyou, o'wise one

    Yes well, quite. XP
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    (Original post by mathperson)
    OK, firstly I just want to say this is not a thread that has been made because I've had a bad day, and is it not a simple rant.

    I'm not clinically depressed at the moment, and so am not in receipt of any counselling or medication therapy.

    However, as many people on TSR will be aware, I have experienced real, and severe, depression 1 year back (which I had for about 18 months - 2 years in total, but feelings of 'being down'/upset for probably 3 years to be realistic).

    I just feel that at some point, maybe in the next six months, maybe in the next 10 years (though I must admit I don't think it will be that long at all) that I will die by suicide.

    I'm not writing this thread because I expect someone to reply with a well rehersed answer, just because I feel as though I would like to express it.

    Thanks.
    hang on, i gather you've been posting about suidice for at least a year now, at very least

    so, without trying to sound cynical or disrespectful here, why are you still alive?
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    (Original post by AdamQ)
    My mate used to feel a similar way, but he studied the topic while at university and it put him off the idea.

    His thinking was, "The world is a horrid place and everyone in it is selfish, it's all survival of the fittest etc; I want out of it." But then he read a piece that said the subconscious believes it’s immortal and thus some people that commit suicide do so picturing themselves being discovered. He'd never realised he was doing that, but then thought it's kind of a way of having power over others - which is selfish in itself. It's causes a lot of hurt and upset for the people you are closest to (realise it or not), just so that you can get a nice little obit written about your tragic death in the local paper or what have you for a wider audience of people who ultimately view your death as entertainment. And it's a bit pathetic and immature. And it doesn't work, because after you die, people use your tragic death to validate their own arguments (not whichever ones you would’ve wanted to make) - "It's what Kurt Cobain would have said," or whatever. So it's a completely counterproductive exercise. My mate gradually dropped the suicidal thoughts and was just depressed for ages, until he left uni and after a long time got a decent job and was then happy as he was a bit higher up the Darwinian food chain. He told me this a few weeks ago over a few pints.

    Does that help?

    Bull.

    People kill themselves so they appear in the paper is probably the stupidest claim I've ever heard. And trust me, you were against some stiff competition.
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    (Original post by mathperson)
    OK, firstly I just want to say this is not a thread that has been made because I've had a bad day, and is it not a simple rant.

    I'm not clinically depressed at the moment, and so am not in receipt of any counselling or medication therapy.

    However, as many people on TSR will be aware, I have experienced real, and severe, depression 1 year back (which I had for about 18 months - 2 years in total, but feelings of 'being down'/upset for probably 3 years to be realistic).

    I just feel that at some point, maybe in the next six months, maybe in the next 10 years (though I must admit I don't think it will be that long at all) that I will die by suicide.

    I'm not writing this thread because I expect someone to reply with a well rehersed answer, just because I feel as though I would like to express it.

    Thanks.
    cheer up, death is scary when there is no such thing as afterlife. if you kill yourself, you'll cease to exist.
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    Bull.

    People kill themselves so they appear in the paper is probably the stupidest claim I've ever heard. And trust me, you were against some stiff competition.
    You're taking what I said on too literal a basis.
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    (Original post by TK2 King Pin)
    hang on, i gather you've been posting about suidice for at least a year now, at very least

    so, without trying to sound cynical or disrespectful here, why are you still alive?
    you don't sound disrespectful at all, it is a valid question asked in a mature way.

    I actually posted about depression about 18 months ago before attempting suicide, I posted about it for a few weeks after attempting also to get help, but stopped because I realised that in doing so it probably wasn't helping (in terms of actually resolving anything, that isn't to say alot of people didn't care though, ofcourse, because they did).

    I have posted once since then about 6 months ago with a thread title basically the same as this, and then this thread.
    As I have exaplined I feel a little down but not depressed, however I think that a comment that another poster made "depression symptoms may still be 'lingering' " is probably not far from the truth though.
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    (Original post by Emor)
    Well, I wasn't going to go through 10+ pages of posts just so I didn't waste your time, frankly.

    It's far more selfish to permanently damage the lives of those who are aware that you can't just kill yourself when life gets ****ty, because you think it's tedious and trivial -_-.

    I'm not going to reproduce because I don't think life is worth *giving*, but it's just ****ing selfish to kill yourself because of simple logic. It's people like you who can justify death with such basic reasoning it annoys me. You haven't even bothered to factor in many other variables which may lead to negative consequences utilitarian-wise. That in it's self is just selfish.

    EMZ.
    I take it you disagree with euthanasia, then?
 
 
 
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