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Beating, spanking & hitting children... watch

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    If somebody crosses the line in society, you slap them back down,
    If you give them a reason as to why it's wrong, then at least they have a reason not to do it again.
    But say a child wants to touch something you won't let them, a sharp quick slap might make them never go near it again, but some may just want to go put their fingers in the socket.
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    Some of you must be so excited, just waiting for the day when your children are ready for their first smack.

    Personally, I was more interested in their first day at school, or their first pair of shoes.

    How do you decide anyway? 18 months? 2 years? 2 and a half? 3? When are they ready for that magical moment with your hand?
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    (Original post by BenjyK)
    I havent actually, I know that I'm probably messed up, but i dont really feel it because I've never experienced anything else if that makes sense? Plus i havent been beaten in two years, not that they havent tried but I've never let them. I suppose i wouldve been thankful for any sort of counselling two years ago, well, wouldve been grateful for any sort of help really, but now i dont really see the point, it would just rake up bad memories, and might involve talking to my parents and right now i try to avoid them as much as possible.
    Yes i do still flinch alot, but i dont think i have any trust issues, except for with my parents, dont think I'll ever trust them ever again. I suppose thats terrible but ah well, i think it would be talking to them or about them and the things they did that would make be break down really, so right now I'm good with trying to forget about it.

    Ugh that probably really didnt make sense...
    Ok, your choice. Just that if it still affects you now it may be worth a try, counselling can be a bit like that but it doesn't mean you have to dwell on the past, just talk about your feelings and the present and you could always go by yourself, you're parents don't have to come. I understand what you're saying about not trusting your parents again. Sometimes parents don't like to admit when they are wrong or have let a child down.

    It must affect your sister though I she acts the way she does?? How did people react when she told them, did they offer to help her or something??
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    (Original post by Clip)
    Some of you must be so excited, just waiting for the day when your children are ready for their first smack.

    Personally, I was more interested in their first day at school, or their first pair of shoes.

    How do you decide anyway? 18 months? 2 years? 2 and a half? 3? When are they ready for that magical moment with your hand?
    No one who has half a brain cell enjoys smacking their child. Stop trying to make people sound like monsters, its pathetic.
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    I have been spanked by my parents as well, even I have been kicked by my dad twice and I am pretty fine now.

    I am with the idea that spanking it lightly is fine but beating up is exaggerated.

    Luckily, I have only been spanked. I can never forgive my dad for kicking me twice though.
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    (Original post by Dee Leigh)
    Ok, your choice. Just that if it still affects you now it may be worth a try, counselling can be a bit like that but it doesn't mean you have to dwell on the past, just talk about your feelings and the present and you could always go by yourself, you're parents don't have to come. I understand what you're saying about not trusting your parents again. Sometimes parents don't like to admit when they are wrong or have let a child down.

    It must affect your sister though I she acts the way she does?? How did people react when she told them, did they offer to help her or something??
    Well basically she told all our family, who didnt care as smacking is a widespread thing in African societies (I'm from Ghana), she also told her school and showed them some scars and that was pretty serious, my parents got called into school, and they threatened to call social services but my parents lied through their teeth and also my sister complied as she got scared that they would take her away and make her live in a home.
    It is really affecting her though, having noone to guide her, i try my best to make sure she's not doing anything dangerous, and i think she hasnt yet, just worried about when she gets a little older (she's 14).
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    (Original post by Clip)
    Some of you must be so excited, just waiting for the day when your children are ready for their first smack.

    Personally, I was more interested in their first day at school, or their first pair of shoes.

    How do you decide anyway? 18 months? 2 years? 2 and a half? 3? When are they ready for that magical moment with your hand?
    You clearly don't have children.
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    "To spare the rod is to spoil the child".
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    (Original post by tibbles209)
    I disagree with using any degree of violence against children - I don't like what it teaches them. Apart form anything else its been shown time and time again that children who were smacked growing up are more likely to become violent (http://www.clickorlando.com/family/5330085/detail.html) which isn't surprising. You're taking away control from a child and making them feel helpless, showing them that when someone does something you don't like then hitting is the way to solve that. It's not surprising that some of them grow up wanting to take back some of that control and find someone weaker and more helpless than themselves to bully.

    I'm of course not saying all children who are smacked turn out this way, just higher numbers than those who are not smacked.

    And apart from any of that, I just think violence is wrong in all circumstances (except perhaps when absolutely necessary for self defense) and children should have the same legal protection from being hit that adults have.
    my bro always used to get beats and he isnt some violent criminal :curious:

    Anyways there is a difference between beating and being abusive. I'm sure especially the ethnic community will know about this

    If you step out of line with the parent, expect to get your slipper beating

    It gets abusive if say for example, the mother is to pour a kettle full of boiling water down a innocent child for no reason
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    Spanking is needed. Im tired of seeing little kids mouthing off at their parents, calling them a ***** and telling them too **** off
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    (Original post by Clip)
    Some of you must be so excited, just waiting for the day when your children are ready for their first smack.

    Personally, I was more interested in their first day at school, or their first pair of shoes.

    How do you decide anyway? 18 months? 2 years? 2 and a half? 3? When are they ready for that magical moment with your hand?
    Are you just quivering with excitement waiting for the first time you can take away a child's possessions or their liberty?
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    (Original post by BenjyK)
    Well basically she told all our family, who didnt care as smacking is a widespread thing in African societies (I'm from Ghana), she also told her school and showed them some scars and that was pretty serious, my parents got called into school, and they threatened to call social services but my parents lied through their teeth and also my sister complied as she got scared that they would take her away and make her live in a home.
    It is really affecting her though, having noone to guide her, i try my best to make sure she's not doing anything dangerous, and i think she hasnt yet, just worried about when she gets a little older (she's 14).
    Omg, that's like someone I know, her parents are from Africa too. The thing is, you and you're parents have been beating her and it's sad that no one seems willing to stand up against the 'norm' and say this is wrong considering your sister had bruises, but it is not surprising sometimes people just wanna turn a blind eye or they are scared.

    Your parents must know that what they are doing is wrong and illegal if they are lying through their teeth. Sorry to be rude but they should have either be willing to accept that the consequences (maybe not likely) or should go back to Ghana if they are not willing to follow the rules here.

    You're a good sibling to be looking out for her and trying your best, but maybe you should try to convince her to maybe get some help and stuff (like talk to someone in confidence). And in the case of the social services, they only take away kids as a last resort. You're parents must have also been scared about your sister telling the school and the mention of the social services, I guess that is why they lied.
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    I think it's acceptable only in certain circumstances..

    My Mum used to spank me repeatedly if I got shampoo in my eyes when she washed my hair, even though she was working in the shampoo. I used to cry over that a lot.
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    (Original post by Dee Leigh)
    I agree! I guess your dad was really patient, but do you feel he was soft towards you?
    He was a bit soft aye, but my mum was hard on me so that made up for it. She wasn't hard on me sis tho and me sis is the one who's the less 'well rounded'/composed young adult..

    ..I believe kids need to be challenged, to learn to respond to authority etc and to have good role models, but I don't see why violence should necessarily have to play a part, we're not donkeys after all
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    (Original post by ChemistBoy)
    You clearly don't have children.
    And which part of your extra-sensory perception told you that?

    I do have children. Two. And I never hit them. Because to do so would be cruel and idiotic. There are other methods of parenting besides threat of violence.
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    (Original post by Trigger)
    No one who has half a brain cell enjoys smacking their child. Stop trying to make people sound like monsters, its pathetic.
    No. What is pathetic is a fully grown adult hitting a child a fraction of their own size, and using that force, and the fear of that force as a means of parenting.
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    (Original post by Clip)
    No. What is pathetic is a fully grown adult hitting a child a fraction of their own size, and using that force, and the fear of that force as a means of parenting.
    Then why don't you respond to any of the arguments in the thread? What makes you think a fear of losing one's possessions/liberty is better? Or do you not use any punishments with your children?
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    (Original post by Clip)
    No. What is pathetic is a fully grown adult hitting a child a fraction of their own size, and using that force, and the fear of that force as a means of parenting.
    Uh huh. Good luck with your kids and whatever way you wish to raise them. I'm sure they will turn out just as fine, as will mine.
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    (Original post by Austentatious)
    Kindness is a better teacher than the cane. And I certainly don't agree with teachers hitting their students!!!!
    It isn't, because people take the piss. You try to be leniant and they then think there's no boundaries and they can break the rules with no consequences. It doesn't prepare them for life outside of school where you have to obey authority and respect others, or are at least meant to.

    Why not? If someone has done something awful (say violently assaulting another student or bullying someone), why shouldn't they have something awful infliced back upon them?
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    Got a warning about a post on here and honestly don't understand it. Also I've tried to reply and post in ASK A MOD and got nowhere. Will the mod kindly explain why?
 
 
 
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