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Beating, spanking & hitting children... watch

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    Has to be very serious to resort to physical discipline, otherwise that's just lazy parenting. Just hitting a child won't enlighten them why what they did was wrong, teach them and explain to them why they shouldn't do that. Some children, particularly quite young ones, won't even understand why you are hitting them.

    Or even let them learn for themselves, when they do something wrong and harm themselves somehow because of it, that is just natural learning.
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    (Original post by Boobies.)
    I've been beaten up a fair few times, more around when i was 11/12 than when i was a child.
    In my opinion, if you raise a child from birth, then you'll never need to lay a finger on them if you know how to parent properly. Its counterproductive and lazy - All it does it make other forms of discipline less effective.
    I don't even think you should do it to shock - what your saying to your child is, "if you don't behave the way in which I want you to, i'm going to threaten you with violence until you're scared enough to do exactly what I say" - Its barbaric.
    I think a much better method of discipline is to give them time outs, take their toys or send them to bed early - but have a consistent disciplining system where you actually explain what they're doing wrong and why its wrong. Then they'll grow up actually understanding why they're being punished, instead of acting up then being totally bewildered when they get a smack around the head or legs.
    Agreed...
    And what message is it sending to your children when you hit them? Violence is fine.
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    (Original post by Trigger)
    Yeah im always out punching people between the eyes.
    As I said, it is just higher numbers of children who become violent, certainly no where near all of them.
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    My parents never hit me at all.... but they used to threaten to use a cane usually by hitting a table or anything wooden and I'd use to be terrified of just the sound and usually would behave after that I don't really agree with any physical punishments. My wife on the other hand doesn't really like being told how to be a parent, so I can't really tell her not to smack the little one.... but thankfully the little one usually will listen to me, when she doesn't I just tell her to stand or sit in a certain corner of the house or I just tell her I'm going to tell mummy what she is up to. Usually works.... my wife will smack if it's out of hand. Don't agree with it.... but nothing I could do about it.

    Having said that :-

    Smacked children more successful later in life, study finds
    Children who are smacked by their parents may grow up to be happier and more successful than those spared physical discipline, research suggests.

    A study found that youngsters smacked up to the age of six did better at school and were more optimistic about their lives than those never hit by their parents.

    They were also more likely to undertake voluntary work and keener to attend university, experts discovered.

    The research, conducted in the United States, is likely to anger children’s rights campaigners who have unsuccessfully fought to ban smacking in Britain.

    Currently, parents are allowed by law to mete out "reasonable chastisement'' on their children, providing smacking does not leave a mark or bruise. These limits were clarified in the 2004 Children’s Act.

    But children’s groups and MPs have argued that spanking is an outdated form of punishment that can cause long-term mental health problems.

    Marjorie Gunnoe, professor of psychology at Calvin College in Grand Rapids, Michigan, said her study showed there was insufficient evidence to deny parents the freedom to determine how their children should be punished.

    She said: “The claims made for not spanking children fail to hold up. They are not consistent with the data.

    “I think of spanking as a dangerous tool, but there are times when there is a job big enough for a dangerous tool. You just don’t use it for all your jobs.”

    The research questioned 179 teenagers about how often they were smacked as children and how old they were when they were last spanked.

    Their answers were then compared with information they gave about their behaviour that could have been affected by smacking. This included negative effects such as anti-social behaviour, early sexual activity, violence and depression, as well as positives such as academic success and ambitions.

    Those who had been smacked up to the age of six performed better in almost all the positive categories and no worse in the negatives than those never punished physically.

    Teenagers who had been hit by their parents from age seven to 11 were also found to be more successful at school than those not smacked but fared less well on some negative measures, such as getting involved in more fights.

    However, youngsters who claimed they were still being smacked scored worse than every other group across all the categories.

    Prof Gunnoe found little difference in the results between sexes and different racial groups.

    The findings were rejected by the National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children, which has fought to ban smacking.

    A spokesman for the charity said: "The NSPCC believes that children should have the same legal protection from assault as adults do.

    “Other research has shown that smacking young children affects their behaviour and mental development, and makes them more likely to be anti-social.”

    However, Parents Outloud, the pressure group, welcomed the research, saying parents should not be criminalised for mild smacking.

    Its spokeswoman, Margaret Morrissey, said: “It is very difficult to explain verbally to a young child why something they have done is wrong.

    “A light tap is often the most effective way of teaching them not to do something that is dangerous or hurtful to other people – it is a preventive measure.

    “While anything more than a light tap is definitely wrong, parents should be allowed the freedom to discipline their children without the fear that they will be reported to police.”

    Aric Sigman, a psychologist and author of The Spoilt Generation: Why Restoring Authority will Make our Children and Society Happier, told the Sunday Times: “The idea that smacking and violence are on a continuum is a bizarre and fetishised view of what punishment or smacking is for most parents.

    “If it’s done judiciously by a parent who is normally affectionate and sensitive to their child, our society should not be up in arms about that. Parents should be trusted to distinguish this from a punch in the face.”

    Previous studies have suggested that smacking children can lead them to develop behavioural problems such as being more aggressive.
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    (Original post by tibbles209)
    As I said, it is just higher numbers of children who become violent, certainly no where near all of them.
    All my friends were smacked as kids (we have had this convo before) and not one of us are violent. You didnt even link a reputable source.
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    (Original post by Trigger)
    If we are living in an ideal world maybe. It is not barbaric to use a short sharp smack as the last warning. It has been said many times in this thread that beating and smacking are not the same and insulting the majority of our parents isn't doing you any favours.
    1. I'm not looking for favours
    2. I'm not intentionally insulting your parents, I wouldn't take it personally - Its just my opinion.
    3. Plenty of parents raise happy, healthy and disciplined children and never lay a finger on them.
    4. Yes, It is - Its not a warning, that is physical punishment and it is meant to frighten the child, And all it does is leave the child scared, confused and upset.
    5. Parents shouldn't have to resort to violence or scaring their child with violence for them to behave - all it does is ensure that the child will then only react the to the threat of violence, which they will eventually become immune to.
    6. Violence is violence, whether a beating or a 'short sharp smack'.

    (Original post by History-Student)
    1. If someone's smacking their kid on the head, they're doing it wrong.

    2. That works fine if they do something wrong at home etc. When you're out and need to get shopping etc. done a time out isn't going to work & I don't believe doing the whole supernanny thing is going to stop them having a tantrum in public. So you give them the warning, then go all super-parent when you get home.
    1. It happens.
    2. If you raise a child knowing that its not acceptable to act like that, then it won't happen. You seem to think that a child having a tantrum in public is something that is inevitable and random - It isn't, some children don't do it. If a child is having a tantrum in public, then I think we'd need to look at the reasons why before we make a judgement on it.
    You can put it down as a "Supernanny" thing if you wish, but really its just not hitting or forcing your child to do what you want by threatening them with violence.
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    (Original post by Boobies.)
    ...

    1. It happens.
    2. If you raise a child knowing that its not acceptable to act like that, then it won't happen. You seem to think that a child having a tantrum in public is something that is inevitable and random - It isn't, some children don't do it. If a child is having a tantrum in public, then I think we'd need to look at the reasons why before we make a judgement on it.
    You can put it down as a "Supernanny" thing if you wish, but really its just not hitting or forcing your child to do what you want by threatening them with violence.
    1. I'm not saying it doesn't. People who hit their kids in the sabre area are thugs.

    2. Kids are kids, I don't seem them as especially logical. You tell a kid they can't do/have something that they really want and they'll react. You use the temporary solution at the time and then do the proper parenting (teaching your kid why it's wrong etc.) at home.
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    I used to get a slap by my mother every time i would do something bad, and I've developed more respect for both of my parents than any other person I know (who didn't get beaten) and of those of my friends who were beaten, and I use that term lightly, are much more disciplined than those that weren't.
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    As others have pointed out, there's a pretty ****ing massive difference between 'beating' and 'spanking' (man, that word has so many erotic connotations, it just sounds wrong).


    I support the latter. Because it works. And it really doesn't harm the child in any short, or long, term manner.
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    I still get smacked now (Coming in drunk etc)
    It's the kids i grew up with that weren't smacked, that talked to their parents like ****, that have ended up doing nothing with their lives. I don't blame the parents but they should have tried harder. These kids now = todays drug dealers
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    there is a difference between beating a child and disciplining them. Children don't need beating but they need to be told firmly what is right or wrong, and if some parents actually were abit more firm perhaps there would be more people doing things with their lives rather than children as young as 9 having babies, and ferrel chavs hanging around on street corners.
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    Like others have said, there is a massive difference between 'beating' and 'spanking'. Child beating can never be justified, spanking, in my opinion can.

    I was given a quick 'spank' when I was young, and only when I deserved it. Nothing wrong with it in my opinion. Its a useful parenting technique, helps reinforce the parent-child relationship in my opinion.
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    (Original post by History-Student)
    1. I'm not saying it doesn't. People who hit their kids in the sabre area are thugs.

    2. Kids are kids, I don't seem them as especially logical. You tell a kid they can't do/have something that they really want and they'll react. You use the temporary solution at the time and then do the proper parenting (teaching your kid why it's wrong etc.) at home.
    When I was younger I was never hit, but I wouldn't kick off in public. If i ever was upset when shopping or something, my mum would quietly take me to one side, kneel down and tell me why she didn't buy me a toy or something, something along the lines of - "You have plenty of things to play with. They cost a lot of money and we're going to run out of space to put them. When you need new toys, we'll get you some" She was kind about it, and I wasn't even upset after she said something like that.
    If a young child is acting up because they're tired, then thats understandable - parents need to take account of the fact that children need more sleep than them, and it's not the child's fault for crying if their parent has taken them out in the day when they'd usually be napping as hasn't allowed them time to sleep.
    In my experience, I started going off the rails when I was a bit older and my did would hit me - and exactly the same happened with my little brother, thus me thinking its ineffective.
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    At first I thought this was gonna be about bondage till I saw the children part of the title :lolwut:
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    I use to get beaten up severely by family members, until I grew up (Well I'm 16 now, s I'm a young adult)

    The beatings would be like using a pole and whacking me on my leg leaving me crouching/making it bruised, and throwing **** at me.

    Eventually, I had the guts to call the police, and they were given a warning bla bla bla (At the time of when I called the police, I was about to get beaten up - but no scars or bruises yet).

    Now I'm 16, I'm a pretty strong built now - my mum tried to smack me with a pair of trainers across my face, and I just overpowered her etc - I didn't attack her back - Just pushed her away. No one in my family attacks me anymore, and I've become a very short tempered angry person. - saying a few bad things would tip me off.


    When I use to get 'beats', I didn't learn. I became more rebellious. You might be thinking 'they never beat you enough that's why you still had the mind-set to be rebellious' I was swung against a wall + knocked down unconscious a couple of times. - The reason for the beatings were completely idiotic. I come home from school, and I play 30minutes to 1hour of games on my computer - but my asian parents (Chinese to be specific) would no allow it.

    They cannot use words to express themselves or what they want. They just begin screaming when I do something which in their point of view is 'wrong' (Playing games for 30minutes-1hour). If they would just talk like a teacher/normal human would, then it would've been much more better.

    Now none of them can **** with me.
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    (Original post by Instincts_2012)
    I use to get beaten up severely by family members, until I grew up (Well I'm 16 now, s I'm a young adult)

    The beatings would be like using a pole and whacking me on my leg leaving me crouching/making it bruised, and throwing **** at me.

    Eventually, I had the guts to call the police, and they were given a warning bla bla bla (At the time of when I called the police, I was about to get beaten up - but no scars or bruises yet).

    Now I'm 16, I'm a pretty strong built now - my mum tried to smack me with a pair of trainers across my face, and I just overpowered her etc - I didn't attack her back - Just pushed her away. No one in my family attacks me anymore, and I've become a very short tempered angry person. - saying a few bad things would tip me off.


    When I use to get 'beats', I didn't learn. I became more rebellious. You might be thinking 'they never beat you enough that's why you still had the mind-set to be rebellious' I was swung against a wall + knocked down unconscious a couple of times. - The reason for the beatings were completely idiotic. I come home from school, and I play 30minutes to 1hour of games on my computer - but my asian parents (Chinese to be specific) would no allow it.

    They cannot use words to express themselves or what they want. They just begin screaming when I do something which in their point of view is 'wrong' (Playing games for 30minutes-1hour). If they would just talk like a teacher/normal human would, then it would've been much more better.

    Now none of them can **** with me.
    Yeah you were beaten up and abused not smacked for discipline. Its different.
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    (Original post by tibbles209)
    I disagree with using any degree of violence against children - I don't like what it teaches them. Apart form anything else its been shown time and time again that children who were smacked growing up are more likely to become violent (http://www.clickorlando.com/family/5330085/detail.html) which isn't surprising. You're taking away control from a child and making them feel helpless, showing them that when someone does something you don't like then hitting is the way to solve that. It's not surprising that some of them grow up wanting to take back some of that control and find someone weaker and more helpless than themselves to bully.

    I'm of course not saying all children who are smacked turn out this way, just higher numbers than those who are not smacked.

    And apart from any of that, I just think violence is wrong in all circumstances (except perhaps when absolutely necessary for self defense) and children should have the same legal protection from being hit that adults have.


    I'm not sure that I agree with this point. I was beaten whenever I really acted up until a certain age but I think it's that has given me all the more reason to dislike violence rather that use it.
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    (Original post by Tyler.)
    I do not agree with any type of spanking or hitting. There are otherwise to punish children other than hitting. I also think when you hit a child regardless of how soft you're telling that child it's acceptable to hit someone if they have done bad.
    Are you suggesting it isn't?

    Moreover, the child-adult relationship is not one of equals. People have to make that clear to children - although I notice now things are getting more blurred as more and more children happily call their parents' friends by first names and so forth.
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    (Original post by Trigger)
    Yeah you were beaten up and abused not smacked for discipline. Its different.
    Well they wanted to discipline me to not play games - in their view playing games means automatic failure in life. (Their upbringing were also as strict).

    They didn't just lash out at me for no apparent reason (like abusive parents would be), but still, their reasoning was too extreme.
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    (Original post by concubine)
    As others have pointed out, there's a pretty ****ing massive difference between 'beating' and 'spanking' (man, that word has so many erotic connotations, it just sounds wrong).


    I support the latter. Because it works. And it really doesn't harm the child in any short, or long, term manner.


    I wouldn't have used it if I'd thought of that! :facepalm:
 
 
 
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