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Beating, spanking & hitting children... watch

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    (Original post by Clip)
    Any violence on a child, be it smacking or whatever is just plain idiotic, and without justification.

    All it does is demonstrate that bigger people can hit smaller people as long as they think they have a good reason.
    I think children are capable of much more nuanced logic than this. Children who grow up being smacked by their parents realise that only their parents smack them - other bigger people do not smack them, nor do their parents smack other smaller people. It seems to me that the children will link the acceptability of smacking to parenthood.

    And my previous point still stands. Let's say your preferred method of discipline is to remove toys. Why does the child in this instance not learn that it's acceptable for bigger people to take away the possessions of smaller people as long as they think they have good reason? If they don't get this message, what is the difference between the two cases?
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    (Original post by Trigger)
    Right for the second time stop with the ridiculous green text, it doesn't make me care any more about your point and it makes you look like a moron.

    Secondly no i do not think the correct method of smacking is violence no matter what emotive language you use.

    Thirdly your views on other people are pretty vile and i have no idea why you felt the need to bring in such an example but yes, they know more about parenting then yuo because they are a parent. Funny that. Also i have no idea why you are mentioning the phrase "university of life" but i have no idea why you feel the need to have a degree to successfully bring up kids (my mother has two degrees and smacked us so work that on out).

    And finally you have condoned (I haven't condoned anything) anyone that uses smacking as a form of discipline when you know naff all about it so it isn't moot at all.

    Thanks.
    You have lost me completely with your angry retort and accusations but I wish you well nevertheless. If you ever want to join me in a reasoned debate you are always welcome.

    The TSR message boxes have an extensive toolbar which members can choose to use if they wish. It seems to have made you cross (witness your continued impatience), but it wasn't my intention to rile you with chromatic trickery.
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    A slap is always justified when a child acts in a disrespectful manner. He has to make the difference between good and bad now before it's too late.
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    I don't think it's a question of what's right or wrong, justified or unjustified. It's more a case of, if you love your children you'll try never to strike them, no matter how much they wind you up, no matter what harm they visit on each other and no matter how important it is to be firm with them at times

    My old man never hit me, and I was a seriously beatable child! I take my hat off to him for that
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    (Original post by CODKING)
    You have lost me completely with your angry retort and accusations but I wish you well nevertheless. If you ever want to join me in a reasoned debate you are always welcome.

    The TSR message boxes have an extensive toolbar which members can choose to use if they wish. It seems to have made you cross (witness your continued impatience), but it wasn't my intention to rile you with chromatic trickery.
    Right i have not angrily retorted at all but your constant use of those green letters is getting on my nerves. Argue with yourself.
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    (Original post by Foo.mp3)
    I don't think it's a question of what's right or wrong, justified or unjustified. It's more a case of, if you love your children you'll try never to strike them, no matter how much they wind you up, no matter what harm they visit on each other and no matter how important it is to be firm with them at times

    My old man never hit me, and I was a seriously beatable child! I take my hat off to him for that
    My parents didnt love me?
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    Taking away any form of physical restraint or punishment is a cause of far too much delinquency in children. Great if it is never used, but the option within limits should always be there.
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    (Original post by Trigger)
    My parents didnt love me?
    Misrepresentation much? :rolleyes: note "try never to" aye..
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    (Original post by Foo.mp3)
    Misrepresentation much? :rolleyes: note 'try never to' yeah..
    No i just think it is brilliant that many of you assume that smacking a child equates to hardcore abuse. Also "try to never" too is a bit of a silly thing to say as it still means that you are implying my parents didn't love me as they actively used smacking as punishment.
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    (Original post by Trigger)
    No i just think it is brilliant that many of you assume that smacking a child equates to hardcore abuse
    Assumption = mother of all **** ups yo. Who cares what amounts to 'hardcore' abuse for the purposes of this discussion anyway - surely any abuse should be avoided if you truly love someone?

    (Original post by Trigger)
    Also try never too is a bit of a silly thing to say as it still means that you are implying my parents didn't love me as they actively used smacking as punishment
    Try never to doesn't imply anything about a person's capacity to avoid hitting under individual sets of circumstances, it simply means that if people care for their family, if they can empathise concerning the trauma that physical abuse can inflict, then they do their best to try never to strike such people :rolleyes:

    You shouldn't take this so personally.. my mum beat me pretty bad at times when I was a kid but that says nothing about the way she cares about me, the funny thing is I'm her favourite, yet I got by far the worst of it by far!- and her and I are the closest out of any other two members of our family..
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    I think it's wrong.
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    (Original post by Foo.mp3)
    Assumption = mother of all **** ups yo. Who cares what amounts to 'hardcore' abuse for the purposes of this discussion anyway - surely any abuse should be avoided if you truly love someone?

    Try never to doesn't imply anything about a person's capacity to avoid hitting under individual sets of circumstances, it simply means that if people care for their family, if they can empathise concerning the trauma that physical abuse can inflict, then they do their best to try never to strike such people :rolleyes:
    See there you go again...
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    Beating is a bit harsh. But a small slap on the hand or ass cheek isn't bad.

    Lol i remember when i was a kid i was so hyperactive, when i got a slap, i'd just hit the giggles.

    Man i was such a brat when i was a kid. I'm surprised my parents kept so calm and never snapped!
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    (Original post by CODKING)
    Agree 100% You are also right about the cyclic nature of things on here but I'm still horrified at the unquestioning belief in violence, no matter how 'lite' it is. There are people who are already sure they will strike children they haven't even conceived yet. Insane.
    Agreed.
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    (Original post by AsherJT)
    I was spanked as a child when i misbehaved, and i dont see anything wrong with it. Obviously some bad parents use it as an excuse to beat their kids black and blue, which is child abuse. However a little tap on the arse or back of the legs, so the child knows it has done wrong is perfectly acceptable.
    True, this is sometimes the problem, people can so easily take things too far.
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    (Original post by salty_candy)
    Beating and hitting, no. I have somewhat lunatic parents, and it definitely took part in turning me into a bit of a mad person (I'm very..uh.. odd)
    never hit me as a little kid, more from about 10-16, still occasionally now though I'm an adult so I don't mind so much, usually only as the result of an argument so I know if i don't shut up I'll be getting a smack round the face. (yeah, yeah move out. it's not that easy and I've a kid sister to be thinking of ) I don't think that was right, but a small, light smack occasionally under about 8 years old is fine, I think.
    When you start making your kids constantly fear you or hitting them for no reason, then you've ****ed up big time
    This is another issue as well. There is nothing wrong with teaching your child discipline, but it should not have to involved making your child fear you.
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    I know for a fact that beating if not used with extreme caution can be counter-active, and completely defeat the purpose, and thats from personal experience.

    I spent most of my life extremely scared of my parents, so much that I'd flinch even if they were handing something to me, and that fear even spread to outside the home, so that even now i have a thing about people touching me, and i flinch at anything.

    I snapped about a year and a half ago, a few months after my younger sister did. And now i have absolutely no respect for my parents on a day to day basis. As in, deep down i probably do love them, i acknowledge that they keep me alive, blah blah blah, but they have absolutely no control over me or my actions and decisions. Because I'm naturally quite sensible i havent gone crazy, but its made my sister pretty unruly, and since when she cracked she told everyone what my parents do to us my parents are even scared to tell her off now, so she does what she feels like, and I'm just worried about what exactly she does when shes out till the late hours...

    Wow that was long, sorry bout that, tl;dr : Beating should only be reserved for extreme circumstances in my opinion and can have dire effects when misused.
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    (Original post by Foo.mp3)
    I don't think it's a question of what's right or wrong, justified or unjustified. It's more a case of, if you love your children you'll try never to strike them, no matter how much they wind you up, no matter what harm they visit on each other and no matter how important it is to be firm with them at times

    My old man never hit me, and I was a seriously beatable child! I take my hat off to him for that
    I agree! I guess your dad was really patient, but do you feel he was soft towards you?

    By the way I love your sig it's funny!
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    (Original post by BenjyK)
    I know for a fact that beating if not used with extreme caution can be counter-active, and completely defeat the purpose, and thats from personal experience.

    I spent most of my life extremely scared of my parents, so much that I'd flinch even if they were handing something to me, and that fear even spread to outside the home, so that even now i have a thing about people touching me, and i flinch at anything.

    I snapped about a year and a half ago, a few months after my younger sister did. And now i have absolutely no respect for my parents on a day to day basis. As in, deep down i probably do love them, i acknowledge that they keep me alive, blah blah blah, but they have absolutely no control over me or my actions and decisions. Because I'm naturally quite sensible i havent gone crazy, but its made my sister pretty unruly, and since when she cracked she told everyone what my parents do to us my parents are even scared to tell her off now, so she does what she feels like, and I'm just worried about what exactly she does when shes out till the late hours...

    Wow that was long, sorry bout that, tl;dr : Beating should only be reserved for extreme circumstances in my opinion and can have dire effects when misused.
    Oh that's so sad :console:, I know someone who that has happened to, they do tend to flinch a lot, are fearful of their parents and they've snapped publicly in the past and broken down in front of others, but can't trust people anymore. In your case it wasn't a simple smack, it was a beating and that's unacceptable.
    Have you ever told anyone (e.g. a best friend, adult you can trust, a counsellor)?
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    (Original post by Dee Leigh)
    Oh that's so sad :console:, I know someone who that has happened to, they do tend to flinch a lot, are fearful of their parents and they've snapped publicly in the past and broken down in front of others, but can't trust people anymore. In your case it wasn't a simple smack, it was a beating and that's unacceptable.
    Have you ever told anyone (e.g. a best friend, adult you can trust, a counsellor)?
    I havent actually, I know that I'm probably messed up, but i dont really feel it because I've never experienced anything else if that makes sense? Plus i havent been beaten in two years, not that they havent tried but I've never let them. I suppose i wouldve been thankful for any sort of counselling two years ago, well, wouldve been grateful for any sort of help really, but now i dont really see the point, it would just rake up bad memories, and might involve talking to my parents and right now i try to avoid them as much as possible.
    Yes i do still flinch alot, but i dont think i have any trust issues, except for with my parents, dont think I'll ever trust them ever again. I suppose thats terrible but ah well, i think it would be talking to them or about them and the things they did that would make be break down really, so right now I'm good with trying to forget about it.

    Ugh that probably really didnt make sense...
 
 
 
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