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Protective Jealousy? watch

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    (Original post by Mel20)
    I'm fairly certain its both...
    at least where I used to live, for adultery, women got stoned and men were lashed.
    Yea you are right it doesn't exclude men everywhere. It's just predominantly used against women
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    Maybe he is doing this because he is her brother??? He's being protective.
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    (Original post by bluebell100)
    I don't know why you had to single out female adulterers to be stoned, men have committed adultery too.

    Anyway, if someone wants to get married, they can get to know their potential spouse in the presence of the woman's father. You don't need to hug, kiss or have sex to seek out the suitable potential spouse.
    What an utterly joyless life you must lead.
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    (Original post by bluebell100)
    Anyway, if someone wants to get married, they can get to know their potential spouse in the presence of the woman's father. You don't need to hug, kiss or have sex to seek out the suitable potential spouse.
    It sounds like you're being sarcastic. But, you aren't. :sigh:
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    (Original post by Mujeriego)
    No. Both suffer the same consequences. Stop talking out of your backside, you annoying mong.
    Are you seriously that stupid or you just want to show you know so much. That wasn't the point of what I said. Men usually get away with being stoned in my country because they only get lashed and then bribe the judge but women don't have this advantage. Bluebell said Islam prohibits anything that's harmful. I responded is it right to punish an adulterer by stoning them and taking their lives away.
    I never said being a brother and being protective is wrong. It's not like the girl is being rebellious in his family because the family aren't muslims and religious in general. socialising and meeting other people doesn't harm anyone either unless they dont act sensibly. Besides, she has a father and a mother who are more responsible in protecting their children.
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    I'm all for religious tolerance but this is just ridiculous...

    (Original post by bluebell100)
    Yes, many women do have the mental ability to distinguish, but some women have bad judgement and are easily infatuated and are susceptible to be the prey of bad men.
    Some men are also easily infatuated. Plus men aren't a better judge of character than women just because they are not blinded by love by whomever they're trying to protect the women they know. In fact, isn't it a case of 'every man is evil unless I say so'?

    And the OP hasn't specifically said that he uses Islam as an excuse to stop her seeing men, but in Islam, women are protected and so are men because men can't date either.
    True, he may just be a protective brother regardless but if it is to do with Islam, he has no right to effectively force his way of life onto his sister. It's her life and her choice to do with it what she will. Yes, he can be the protective big brother but there's nothing he can do to physically stop her.

    I don't really know what to say about your experience in Iran (I've never been there) but if you're not a religious person or if religion is something that's not very important to you, then you would find it difficult to understand.

    In Islam, everything that is harmful is prohibited.
    'If you're not a religious person...' - tbh, I don't know many Christians, Jews, Hindus etc. who go to this extreme. Yes, religion depends on the individual's own interpretation but to infer that Islam means to be so restrictive towards women is just absurd, frankly. People only infer it in this way to justify their own backwards actions.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    One of my friends, has recently converted to Islam and has has stopped drinking/partying etc. However, his family isn't Muslim, but he still tries to stop his sister from meeting or socialising with men. When I asked him why he says he is just protecting her.

    What do you think?
    Was he like this before converting?
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    (Original post by aeterno)
    I'm all for religious tolerance but this is just ridiculous...



    Some men are also easily infatuated. Plus men aren't a better judge of character than women just because they are not blinded by love by whomever they're trying to protect the women they know. In fact, isn't it a case of 'every man is evil unless I say so'?



    True, he may just be a protective brother regardless but if it is to do with Islam, he has no right to effectively force his way of life onto his sister. It's her life and her choice to do with it what she will. Yes, he can be the protective big brother but there's nothing he can do to physically stop her.



    'If you're not a religious person...' - tbh, I don't know many Christians, Jews, Hindus etc. who go to this extreme. Yes, religion depends on the individual's own interpretation but to infer that Islam means to be so restrictive towards women is just absurd, frankly. People only infer it in this way to justify their own backwards actions.
    exactly, repped though you dont need the measly score I add to your total
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    (Original post by Fight-or-Flight)
    "everything that is harmful is prohibited". of course it is, just like stoning right? Stoning women for adultery doesn't do any harm.

    So if men cant date and neither can women, how do they choose their future partners? How does it protect people?
    Well what most families do is they show the girl a couple of boys (in my family it's usually someone they kind of already know) then they get to know each other and have alone conversations - you don't need to be kissing, having sex etc - just by talking you can get to know someone really well. If the girl doesn't really like him, she says no and they move on.
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    Islam= :facepalm:

    If I was his sister, I genuinely would take a cricket bat to his face for converting to such a medieval religion.
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    (Original post by JongKey)
    Well what most families do is they show the girl a couple of boys (in my family it's usually someone they kind of already know) then they get to know each other and have alone conversations - you don't need to be kissing, having sex etc - just by talking you can get to know someone really well. If the girl doesn't really like him, she says no and they move on.
    So...it's like dating, except your parents choose who you date.

    -.-
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    (Original post by Novis)
    Maybe he is doing this because he is her brother??? He's being protective.
    Not really, he's being controlling.
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    (Original post by bluebell100)
    Alhamdulillah he became a Muslim.

    Mashallah. Sounds like a good man who actually cares to make sure the women in his family aren't being used or being treated as sex objects by other men.
    I don't understand this, at all.

    A woman only gets treated as a sex object, if she wants to be treated as a sex object, some girls choose to sleep around, some don't, just like guys. How are women any more like sex objects than men are?

    Oh, and stfu with that mashallah bull****, it's like if I randomly put ancient English into the middle of sentences.
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    (Original post by imperial maniac)
    So...it's like dating, except your parents choose who you date.

    -.-
    Not really they only suggest and you choose who you actually want to get to know (well in my family anyway). I guess yeah you could say it is similar to dating but the main difference is that it's not just for a one time fling - it's for a long lasting relationship (marriage) and you don't do anything like kissing and stuff - that's all for after marriage.

    My cousin got engaged and they new each other for a bit before but weren't too close and then after the engagement they got to know each other for a year (as in closer and more alone time) and then got married and they practically love each other now haha.
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    (Original post by bluebell100)
    Yes, many women do have the mental ability to distinguish, but some women have bad judgement and are easily infatuated and are susceptible to be the prey of bad men.

    And the OP hasn't specifically said that he uses Islam as an excuse to stop her seeing men, but in Islam, women are protected and so are men because men can't date either.

    I don't really know what to say about your experience in Iran (I've never been there) but if you're not a religious person or if religion is something that's not very important to you, then you would find it difficult to understand.

    In Islam, everything that is harmful is prohibited.
    HAHA, that's just a flat out lie.

    There is a line between protecting and controlling, I suggest you learn where that line is.

    Is there no such thing as "bad women"? Obviously there is, I could go out in the street, walk 20 metres and find you one.

    Also "my religion says so" ISN'T a justification.
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    Yeah cos a brother just lets his sister go round banging lads? A brother is protective. End of.
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    (Original post by JongKey)
    Not really they only suggest and you choose who you actually want to get to know (well in my family anyway). I guess yeah you could say it is similar to dating but the main difference is that it's not just for a one time fling - it's for a long lasting relationship (marriage) and you don't do anything like kissing and stuff - that's all for after marriage.

    My cousin got engaged and they new each other for a bit before but weren't too close and then after the engagement they got to know each other for a year (as in closer and more alone time) and then got married and they practically love each other now haha.
    So they sort of love each other? after a year of marriage? :facepalm:

    Why on earth would you commit to spending the rest of your life with someone if you didn't love them? that to me, seems mental.

    Wouldn't you prefer to meet your own potential partner, you don't have to have sex with them right away, in fact, sex right away destroys the relationship sometimes, because there is nothing to look forward to. You can still have a decent marriage without taking the gamble of marrying someone you don't know, and could be abusive etc.

    But tbh, I think you're overrating sex, it's just a physical act, it's the dating part and falling in love bit that is the fun part. (Although obv, sex is LOLZ)
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    (Original post by The Dynamic Uno)
    Yeah cos a brother just lets his sister go round banging lads? A brother is protective. End of.
    Difference is, does he warn her against it, or actually try to stop her?

    That is the line ^^
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    (Original post by imperial maniac)
    So they sort of love each other? after a year of marriage? :facepalm:

    Why on earth would you commit to spending the rest of your life with someone if you didn't love them? that to me, seems mental.

    Wouldn't you prefer to meet your own potential partner, you don't have to have sex with them right away, in fact, sex right away destroys the relationship sometimes, because there is nothing to look forward to. You can still have a decent marriage without taking the gamble of marrying someone you don't know, and could be abusive etc.

    But tbh, I think you're overrating sex, it's just a physical act, it's the dating part and falling in love bit that is the fun part. (Although obv, sex is LOLZ)
    No they fell in love BEFORE the marriage. When they spent a year getting to know each other properly after the engagement. If she didn't feel that comfortable with him she would never have married him.
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    (Original post by bluebell100)
    Alhamdulillah he became a Muslim.

    Mashallah. Sounds like a good man who actually cares to make sure the women in his family aren't being used or being treated as sex objects by other men.
    Yeah, but sometimes when a girl wants to spend time with guys, it isn't because she's being 'used'. It's because she actually WANTS to be friends with them, enjoys spending time with them and perhaps even wants a relationship. Women are not always these passive victims who are corrupted and manipulated by men. We enjoy socialising too, you know. We also get horny.

    Of course it's understandable for a dedicated Muslim to ensure his family are behaving in the way that he thinks is best for them. But it's only his opinion. If the sister and the rest of the family are non-Muslim, he can't impose his views on them. Especially as it's up to his parents to decide what their children are allowed to do, not up to him.
 
 
 
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