Turn on thread page Beta

What's he doing? and why? watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    we've been in a LDR for a few years, he sees me as marriage material
    but lately i've been quite miserable because of things he does in spite of me expressing my dislike for them
    i tried talking to him, it doesn't get resolved, says i'm jealous etc...
    i've found and gone past my limit, and the place i'm in right now is pretty happy-not-giving-one, i'm still young, i'll let things roll
    he says he loves me, sees a future together but i realise it's all blahblah to some extent
    now the situation:

    last night we were talking on the phone at night, i was feeling pretty mellow haha
    he starts

    -do you love me?
    -yees
    -are we gonna get married?
    -yees
    -are we gonna have kids?
    -yeeees
    -i love you too

    now im thinking, er why is he asking stuff like this? does he want to feel reassured? so that he can think it's fine to carry on what he's doing and i'll still take it?
    i feel like i'm just saying "yes" just because he expects me to (even though i realise nothing is carved in stone)
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Man up bro
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Economister)
    Man up bro
    thanks bro
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    What is he doing?
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    You're in a LDR talking about marriage and kids? How long have you been with him, was it always a LDR?

    If I was you I wouldn't want to think about marriage and kids, especially as you are 'still young'. But maybe that it just me
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    How old are you?

    I'm asking because I would be like WHAT THE HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLL :zomg: :zomg: :zomg: if I had a conversation like that...such serious questions asked so casually!
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    well if you disagree with any of the questions he asked, you could change yes to a no . You cant just keep pleasing him and sacrifice yourself.
    Why dont you ask him whats the reason for all these questions?
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Maybe you keep asking him and it's annoying him. Live for the moment. He enjoys your company and loves you perhaps but is sick of this reassurance seeking behaviour.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by rugbyladosc)
    You're in a LDR talking about marriage and kids? How long have you been with him, was it always a LDR?

    If I was you I wouldn't want to think about marriage and kids, especially as you are 'still young'. But maybe that it just me
    yes, but we knew each other beforehand
    it's 3 years soon

    he's talking about the future, i'm just smiling and nodding as it were

    it's like his actions say that he doesn't take me that seriously, or as seriously as i take him (maybe it's just the way i'm seeing it), but the stuff he says... well you saw.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Potential Trigger)
    Maybe you keep asking him and it's annoying him. Live for the moment. He enjoys your company and loves you perhaps but is sick of this reassurance seeking behaviour.
    LOL i don't keep asking him, i'm the not the crazy romantic kind of girl, i haven't got a huge book full of wedding ideas

    he is, though, a "romantic" haa
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    yes, but we knew each other beforehand
    it's 3 years soon

    he's talking about the future, i'm just smiling and nodding as it were

    it's like his actions say that he doesn't take me that seriously, or as seriously as i take him (maybe it's just the way i'm seeing it), but the stuff he says... well you saw.
    Ask him to consider you? I don't really see the dilemma here. Are you considering ending it?
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Potential Trigger)
    Maybe you keep asking him and it's annoying him. Live for the moment. He enjoys your company and loves you perhaps but is sick of this reassurance seeking behaviour.
    just to clarify, he keeps asking me, i don't even mention it, i'm the grounded one
    i understand it's silly to make promises years in the future, and i don't
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by rugbyladosc)
    Ask him to consider you? I don't really see the dilemma here. Are you considering ending it?
    i don't know, perhaps...
    i just don't understand the opposite words and actions

    i mentioned and mentioned it, he told me not to "have a go" at him anymore

    in all honesty, i don't feel jealous, i feel a bit betrayed.. and the fact he's carrying it on makes me think he doesn't care that much for the relationship and doesn't respect me

    so why say all the stuff about marriage and kids??!?!?
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by loling909)
    You sound a little crazy. Haha, just a little bit.
    why?

    to make it clear, i'm not the one asking if we're gonna get married
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    why?

    to make it clear, i'm not the one asking if we're gonna get married
    LOL I am so sorry, my posts are getting posted in the wrong threads. No you're not crazy. I don't see a problem with your bf asking you those questions tbh...were you a little freaked out when he asked you..?
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    Have I missed something? What is it that he's doing that makes you feel betrayed?

    Me and my bf have only ever joked about getting married and having kids cause we both know it's a bit too soon to be planning the rest of our lives (if we're even together). With the whole marriage and kids things, just tell him how you feel. Just say that you'd rather focus on what's happening now rather than something that might not happen.
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    the fuuucckkkk?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    it's like his actions say that he doesn't take me that seriously, or as seriously as i take him (maybe it's just the way i'm seeing it), but the stuff he says... well you saw.
    Surely he takes you seriously if he's asking you about marriage and kids?
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by converselove)
    Have I missed something? What is it that he's doing that makes you feel betrayed?

    Me and my bf have only ever joked about getting married and having kids cause we both know it's a bit too soon to be planning the rest of our lives (if we're even together). With the whole marriage and kids things, just tell him how you feel. Just say that you'd rather focus on what's happening now rather than something that might not happen.
    long story.. giving other females excessive (in my opinion) attention
    on the other hand, my views might be 19th century.......
    idk.. i don't think he's joking.

    thank you.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    but lately i've been quite miserable because of things he does in spite of me expressing my dislike for them
    i tried talking to him, it doesn't get resolved, says i'm jealous etc...
    )
    Ok seems like I've missed something? Why's he calling you jealous?

    You can PM if you want to talk about your situation for advice...cause you're thread is confusing me lol
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: March 27, 2011
The home of Results and Clearing

2,782

people online now

1,567,000

students helped last year
Poll
How are you feeling about GCSE results day?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.