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How do you tell Muslim parents you are gay? watch

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    (Original post by Wenger)
    If what you say is true, then the OP's parents should still love him, as you cannot control a 'mental disorder' like any other mental problem people are affected by.
    Good luck applying logic to homophobia and religion.
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    'I'm gay.'
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    okay well i'll give some advice from my favourite advice guru, gay guy and rights advocate Dan Savage

    1-If you live at home with them and depend on them for food, shelter, money then keep it to yourself, it may be hard but you can hold out until you are 18 or independent, as long as they support you they have power over you and i do not want you to be thrown out into the streets which can happen, sit tight and be strong.

    2-If you are not dependent then go ahead, explain to them, let them be angry (do not tolerate any violence) and then leave them to soak it all up they will come around eventually or not either way go live your life.

    Best of luck...
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    telling them could either
    a) have them take drastic measures i.e. kick you out of your house unless they love you enough to accept you the way you are
    or
    b) accept it and move on.

    if you're willing to go through whatever it takes and there's not a chance in hell that you wanna be with a woman, then tell them. you don't want them to find out when its too late or even find out from someone else!
    parents put their pride in their children. it would kill them even worse if they found out from someone other than you.
    • #5
    #5

    Watch how the Eastender guy did it and learn from him.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm gay and my parents are strict muslims and want me to get married to a muslim girl. They are extremely homophobic. I do not know what to do.
    if you're under 18 an live with them, don't tell them. i you're older and more independent, maybe.
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    Wearing body armour?
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    1) Go to uni, where you can be totally independent from your parents and never have to contact them again

    2) Write them a long letter explaining everything in full.

    If you're brave, you can just be out with it right now and be extremely frank with your parents, but knowing the stereotype, that probably won't go down well.
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    If you're still at home, wait until you go to university or move out to tell them cos you're still relying on your parents. And don't get married if you're not that way inclined. That would cause awful problems.
    • #6
    #6

    Another troll I suspect, in an attempt to further desensitize Muslims to this filth.

    If I were Muslim parent, I'd disown you if you told me. What's love got to do with it? Love is actually everything but love of the Creator is greater than love for your child (or love for anything in fact). Pleasing Allah > than you satisfying your whims-- you would understand this but you're not Muslim hence it doesn't register. You have given in to your weakness and one day you will regret it. I just hope it's not too late.

    To Muslims that suffer from this problem. Yes you may have these urges naturally and you can't do much about them, but this is your test. You need to have patience. You need to abstain. Do dhikr, do prayer. Be in constance remembrance of Allah. You shouldn't constantly think about yourself. This is a me-me world, where the self comes before everything but in Islam Allah should come before your desires as He created you and He knows what is best for you (even if you don't).
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Watch how the Eastender guy did it and learn from him.
    No don't do that!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Another troll I suspect, in an attempt to further desensitize Muslims to this filth.

    If I were Muslim parent, I'd disown you if you told me. What's love got to do with it? Love is actually everything but love of the Creator is greater than love for your child (or love for anything in fact). Pleasing Allah > than you satisfying your whims-- you would understand this but you're not Muslim hence it doesn't register. You have given in to your weakness and one day you will regret it. I just hope it's not too late.

    To Muslims that suffer from this problem. Yes you may have these urges naturally and you can't do much about them, but this is your test. You need to have patience. You need to abstain. Do dhikr, do prayer. Be in constance remembrance of Allah. You shouldn't constantly think about yourself. This is a me-me world, where the self comes before everything but in Islam Allah should come before your desires as He created you and He knows what is best for you (even if you don't).
    I'd neg you but it wont let me
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm gay and my parents are strict muslims and want me to get married to a muslim girl. They are extremely homophobic. I do not know what to do.
    It will be difficult to break the news to them and they may well ostracise u for it because for many deeply religious people of any religion, their religion is their life and they cant accept the fact that their children are entitled to make their own religious decisions. This is a problem which is faced by many young people today and i dont think your being gay is the only problem over here. If you do not believe in Islam and do not want to devote ur life to religious practice it will be very difficult for you to live in that environment. It will only get more difficult as time goes on so it is best if you are open with your parents about how you feel towards religion firstly. Once you have established with them that you are not a practising muslim it will be easier to tell them that you are gay. Although they may not be able to accept that you will have to tell them at some stage.

    Whatever u do dont give in to the pressure and get married. It is not some poor girl's fault that u are in the situation you are in and i have seen how damaging it can be. I have a friend who was an orthodox jew and was pressured into an arranged marriage with a guy she barely knew. Three weeks after she was married she realised that he was gay and was sleeping with another man. He had not wanted to tell his parents so had agreed to get married. This was the girls first experience of a relationship and she never wants to go near a man again. so think of it from the girls point of view and dont ever do a thing like that. Imo its criminal.

    Best of luck
    • #6
    #6

    (Original post by IPlayThePiccolo)
    I'd neg you but it wont let me
    Why? Because it's not politically correct?
    I would never harm a gay person in any way, not verbally either (well not personally anyway, I can talk in general terms as I have on this forum).

    In Islam homosexuality is wrong. Disagree all you like, that's categorical. It's not a crime to believe this. So I gave my two cents to Muslims reading and secondly an idea for the OP of how his parents may view this dilemma.
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    (Original post by professortobe)
    Whatever u do dont give in to the pressure and get married. It is not some poor girl's fault that u are in the situation you are in and i have seen how damaging it can be. I have a friend who was an orthodox jew and was pressured into an arranged marriage with a guy she barely knew. Three weeks after she was married she realised that he was gay and was sleeping with another man. He had not wanted to tell his parents so had agreed to get married. This was the girls first experience of a relationship and she never wants to go near a man again. so think of it from the girls point of view and dont ever do a thing like that. Imo its criminal.

    Best of luck
    I agree totally.

    I posted this view on another thread (well, in much harsher terms urging the OP not to enter a 'fake' marriage) and got a load of negs. On TSR you see one half of the story, nobody gives a toss about the other person who isn't here posting.

    Your family problems are YOUR family problems. Don't drag another innocent person in to it because you didn't have the courage or the means to overcome your crisis-- that's not their fault. This is bait and switch of astronomical proportions. People enter marriage with huge optimism; you could quite literally destroy their life. Be honest to them at least, if not your parents.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm gay and my parents are strict muslims and want me to get married to a muslim girl. They are extremely homophobic. I do not know what to do.
    Tell them you're Asexual.

    Unless that's a sin too.
    You wouldn't have to have sex with the person you marry, so it'd be as if you were mates.

    Or, you could also use it to seem like you're have a sexless relationship with a man, and then do it behind their backs.

    Best of both worlds.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Another troll I suspect, in an attempt to further desensitize Muslims to this filth.

    If I were Muslim parent, I'd disown you if you told me. What's love got to do with it? Love is actually everything but love of the Creator is greater than love for your child (or love for anything in fact). Pleasing Allah > than you satisfying your whims-- you would understand this but you're not Muslim hence it doesn't register. You have given in to your weakness and one day you will regret it. I just hope it's not too late.

    To Muslims that suffer from this problem. Yes you may have these urges naturally and you can't do much about them, but this is your test. You need to have patience. You need to abstain. Do dhikr, do prayer. Be in constance remembrance of Allah. You shouldn't constantly think about yourself. This is a me-me world, where the self comes before everything but in Islam Allah should come before your desires as He created you and He knows what is best for you (even if you don't).
    I would neg you too, but it will not let me.

    I realise that it is a terrible thing to be homosexual within Islam, as I am a Muslim myself, but you have no right to judge him and claim that he is not a Muslim. That is for god to decide, not YOU.
    • #6
    #6

    (Original post by firestar101)
    I would neg you too, but it will not let me.

    I realise that it is a terrible thing to be homosexual within Islam, as I am a Muslim myself, but you have no right to judge him and claim that he is not a Muslim. That is for god to decide, not YOU.
    Stop pandering.

    If you had read the thread, you would have realised the OP said he doesn't believe in Islam.

    Again, I dont mean to offend anyone.
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    (Original post by No Man)
    Tell them you're Asexual.

    Unless that's a sin too.
    You wouldn't have to have sex with the person you marry, so it'd be as if you were mates.

    You could also use it to seem like you're have a sexless relationship with a man, and then do it behind their backs.

    Best of both worlds.
    This is all very well for the OP who would indeed be getting the best of both worlds in that situation but it is criminal for the poor girl who is being tricked into marrying him. How about giving some thought to her feeling on the matter. She is being told she is entering into an intimate relationship with this guy and has visions of building a family and having a future with him. On her wedding day she will get dressed up and have a big celebration of what she believes is marriage and then all those hopes, dreams and expectations will be spoilt by some selfish guy who isnt man enough to tell his parents the truth about himself. I know a girl who has been subject to this and as a result she has been put off relationships and men altogether. The selfish **** who did this to her has spoilt her life and taken away her future and if you think that is an okay thing to do there is something wrong with your ethics.
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    (Original post by professortobe)
    This is all very well for the OP who would indeed be getting the best of both worlds in that situation but it is criminal for the poor girl who is being tricked into marrying him. How about giving some thought to her feeling on the matter. She is being told she is entering into an intimate relationship with this guy and has visions of building a family and having a future with him. On her wedding day she will get dressed up and have a big celebration of what she believes is marriage and then all those hopes, dreams and expectations will be spoilt by some selfish guy who isnt man enough to tell his parents the truth about himself. I know a girl who has been subject to this and as a result she has been put off relationships and men altogether. The selfish **** who did this to her has spoilt her life and taken away her future and if you think that is an okay thing to do there is something wrong with your ethics.
    So, did the man tell her he was Asexual?
    And there is usually a gap of time between marrying someone and meeting someone, in which case he could tell her then.

    Unless I'm mistaken, and what happens really is a blind marriage.


    I wasn't encouraging two timing, which is why I added the 'or' into the post.
 
 
 
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