I'm a girl. Below the age of 20 but older than 15.
Some background information which is long:
About 10 months ago my best friend and I started going out. Like proper going out - relationship going out. 8 months BEFORE those 10 months is when I first realised I fancied her. We drifted because I knew I had to stop feeling that way about her and i knew she would never feel the same way back. How wrong I was.
Anyways, in September, when i realised my feelings, I began to drift from her to stop feeling that way (not the best thing to result to I know, but i was desperate). She realised our friendship was beginning to fail and she tried so hard to make it work but I wouldn't allow it to and every time she asked me 'Why are you doing this? What's wrong', I always told her 'I can't tell you, I just can't'. We no longer became friends. Literally, from the BEST of friends we became ppl who would walk past eachother in school and not say a word or look at one another. From non-stop texting 24/7, having fun and jokes together, meeting up and always talking on eachothers inbox's and wall on fb, we went to not knowing who the other was anymore. Didn't talk in school, avoided eachother (mainly me doing the avoiding) not friends on facebook (blocked, deleted) and not having their number on my phone. We literally 'lost' eachother and the really sad bit was that my best friend didn't deserve any of it. She was going through this blindly. She had NO clue why I was acting like that and why our friendship ended. But she just had to try and deal with it without knowing how to fix it.
Because of the massive breakdown in communication, we had no idea what each of us was thinking so we naturally thought the other hated the other.
This was not the case.
From September to April, we didn't talk. We weren't friends and we missed eachother like ****.
I cried every night, yes EVERY night. Some nights it was a few tears over a lost friend but other nights it was a crying fiesta that ended with me crying myself to sleep. I stopped eating, lost focus on other friendships (my group of friends - also her group of friends too - began to realise that something was going on with me) and I was just down, distant and never seen around school. Id hide and only be present for lessons but at free time, I was MIA. The only good thing that seemed to come out of that was I put all my time into my education and school work and excelled but outside the box my life was the complete opposite. When all of this was going on with me, I had no idea that the same thing was going on with my bestfriend. She wasn't eating, was sad and down and was crying just as much as I was.
In all those 8 months of sadness, she was still my bestfriend no matter what cause on weekends and odd days she'd either text me or inbox me on fb asking if i was ok. Despite what was going on between us
So finally, In April, we became friends again due to much encouragement from our group and because we really just missed eachother. Over the 8 months my feelings for her dwindled but when we became friends again, they came back full force. But this time, I decided to just hide them. But in the back of my bestfriends mind, she still wanted to know why I had started to drift in the beginning. She asked me what the reason was that I wouldn't tell her and every time i would say 'It wouldn't break us If I told you, It would shatter us'. Ofc it upset her that I wouldn't say but she kept it on the down low.
Then one day, In may, she asked me again. I decided to be brave and told her. She asked 'What was the reason?' I said 'I fancied you'. My best friend is very pretty and stunning, I couldn't help it and I wouldn't deny it anymore.
She wasn't shocked...to my surprise. I was SO scared she'd reject me and go all crazy and freak out but she didn't. She just asked me 'Do you still?' I said 'Still what?' She said 'Fancy me' and I said 'Yeah'. I was going out of my mind after I text her that reply. A couple mins later, she replied saying 'I feel the same way'. I was shocked confused and happy at the same time. All along, she'd felt the same way about me, but a couple months after I had started to feel the same way about her.
So we decided to act on our feelings, and we got together. We knew, us being girls we'd be sensitive to eachother, more sensitive than boys would be (NO OFFENCE ) and we knew that what we had between us was too good to let go.
Yeah, some day we know we'll have to 'break up' cause we're gonna have to get married but seriously, the prospect of an affair has NEVER not popped into one of our conversations
We do have fights. Actually, we fight quite a lot but when we make up, we make up real good
but I was just wondering, are girl girl or boy boy relationships the same as boy girl relationships? Or are they different in the sense that boy girl relationships are more complex?
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girl-girl relationships different? watch
- Thread Starter
- 27-03-2011 15:56
- 27-03-2011 21:36
I kinda have a story like yours, but I was 'your friend' my friend was kind of like you, and I had NO idea that I would be with her right now. I have been friends with her for 6 years, since I was 14, i'm now 20 and i've only recently started the relationship with her. Previously to this I was with a guy. . . I'm new at this myself, but the answer to your question in upon my perspective is that no...I don't think they are as complex , I think that there are so many levels of a relationship that it is individuly complex in its own way. Yes, girls are much more sensitive, but then some individule girls are not as sensitive as some boys...I suppose it depends on your personality.
For me, i'm finding the girl girl relationship more of a challange as you have to find a way in which works for you both emotionally.
What do you mean you will have to 'break up,' you don't have to do anything that you don't want to do just because society thinks its the right thing to do.
Hope this helps, I will explain my own story if you fancy it some time.
- Thread Starter
- 09-04-2011 19:38
I'd like to hear your story