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How to make him leave me alone watch

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    This is a bit of a rant but I would appreciate it if I can have some decent replies.. Short version: I was a student helper at uni earlier this to help the freshers settle in and register their courses at the department etc. I helped out this first year guy out of a tough spot and now he won't leave me alone I'm a bit scared of him if I am honest..

    He makes really creepy comments on my fb: when I was complaining about problems with my laptop he offered to lend me his laptop in the middle of study week, he made comments about buying me some expensive stuff which a whole group of us were gushing over. I removed him from fb once but then he made such fuss that people thought there was something between us and that I dumped him. For my birthday, he asked me for weeks about what I wanted from him. When I named a cadbury chocolate just to make him stop asking, he gave me a huge carton of it. And he insisted on carrying it up into my room when I asked to him too take some of it as it was too heavy :indiff: He also gives really soapy compliments which I have no idea how to respond to and yesterday he was trying to convince me to let him feel my hair :wtf:

    I was nice to him for the first couple of months but since then I've been actively trying to get rid of him. Nothing seems to work, I've tried being very rude to him, turning into one of the girls who talk 24/7 about the bf, completely ignoring him and making excuses about having to go somewhere else. If anything it only seems to have turned him more stalkerish..

    Just to be clear, I don't usually get loads of attention from guys (I tend to push off people and turn completely cold even when someone is just trying to friendly, but thats a different story) and he is the kind who would actually be attractive if he wasn't so creepy - not completely bad looking, rich, confident etc. Its starting to seriously piss off my bf and he doesn't approach me when my bf is around but I have no idea how to stop him when my bf is not around. I have made it very clear that I don't think of him as anything more than a friend, but I can't make him stop.. What am I doing wrong? :puppyeyes:
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    Someones got an admirer
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    Get your bf to sort him out.
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    Can you not talk to someone at the uni to have a word in his ear? Or have you tried straight up tellign him to leave you alone? Or maybe get your bf to tell him. Sounds awful tbh.
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    Say "leave me alone".
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    maybe say something like, I value our friendship but you need to give me some space, I don't think some of your comments are appropriate especially when I have a boyfriend?
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    He probably knows in his gut that you don't like him, but as it sounds like you don't have the confidence to tell him to go away, he's probably torturing himself with the idea that you're not 100% against it, and all he has to do is try harder. So he tries harder, you draw back further, causing him to try harder. This unhealthy cycle will continue until someone snaps, and something bad happens.

    So how do you end it?

    Shoot him down right now in the most brutal and painful way possible, leaving absolutely no room for interpretation. You might feel bad doing it, but I guarantee he'll get over it, and once the shock and embarrassment subsides, he'll without a doubt be avoiding you for the rest of the course. He doesn't sound like a bad guy, just an idiot who doesn't know how he's coming across.

    Take this from someone who used to be that guy. My case *really* didn't end well, and 5 years on I'm still paying the price for making a stupid mistake.
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    (Original post by Trigger)
    Can you not talk to someone at the uni to have a word in his ear? Or have you tried straight up tellign him to leave you alone? Or maybe get your bf to tell him. Sounds awful tbh.
    Isn't it too trivial to involve uni people? Its not like he's breaking any rules.. Although I am now afraid of being alone with him :erm:
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    (Original post by Kohta)
    He probably knows in his gut that you don't like him, but as it sounds like you don't have the confidence to tell him to go away, he's probably torturing himself with the idea that you're not 100% against it, and all he has to do is try harder. So he tries harder, you draw back further, causing him to try harder. This unhealthy cycle will continue until someone snaps, and something bad happens.

    So how do you end it?

    Shoot him down right now in the most brutal and painful way possible, leaving absolutely no room for interpretation. You might feel bad doing it, but I guarantee he'll get over it, and once the shock and embarrassment subsides, he'll without a doubt be avoiding you for the rest of the course. He doesn't sound like a bad guy, just an idiot who doesn't know how he's coming across.

    Take this from someone who used to be that guy. My case *really* didn't end well, and 5 years on I'm still paying the price for making a stupid mistake.
    Thanks for that. But I really don't want to be mean to him, as you say he's not a bad guy. And there is also the possibility of him just being overly friendly in a platonic way..
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Isn't it too trivial to involve uni people? Its not like he's breaking any rules.. Although I am now afraid of being alone with him :erm:
    You are scared, it isn't trivial.
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    (Original post by Kohta)
    He probably knows in his gut that you don't like him, but as it sounds like you don't have the confidence to tell him to go away, he's probably torturing himself with the idea that you're not 100% against it, and all he has to do is try harder. So he tries harder, you draw back further, causing him to try harder. This unhealthy cycle will continue until someone snaps, and something bad happens.

    So how do you end it?

    Shoot him down right now in the most brutal and painful way possible, leaving absolutely no room for interpretation. You might feel bad doing it, but I guarantee he'll get over it, and once the shock and embarrassment subsides, he'll without a doubt be avoiding you for the rest of the course. He doesn't sound like a bad guy, just an idiot who doesn't know how he's coming across.

    Take this from someone who used to be that guy. My case *really* didn't end well, and 5 years on I'm still paying the price for making a stupid mistake.
    Can I ask you a question...? If you're best friend, someone who you spend as much as 90% of your free time with, tells you that they are in love with you, should you quit being friends with them? Or should you just enjoy your friendship until the time comes when you realise that you really like someone else, and then go out with them?
    'It's better to have loved and lost to have never loved at all' and it's like a beautiful memory, right? He says he thinks I have feelings for him back, only I don't even know it yet :''(. He might be right, although not a lot (I didn't tell him this.) I know it was really really painful for me to get over another boy I knew well for about 3 weeks although Im glad he stopped wanting to hang around with me then as it took 5 months. I don't know what to do now .
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    You really need to listen to Kohta.
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    imo if its really bothering you then i would come out with it prty clearly now, if you dont you might really regret it, and if he really is decent enough then he should back off once he completely knows how you feel

    good luck
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    This is a bit of a rant but I would appreciate it if I can have some decent replies.. Short version: I was a student helper at uni earlier this to help the freshers settle in and register their courses at the department etc. I helped out this first year guy out of a tough spot and now he won't leave me alone I'm a bit scared of him if I am honest..

    He makes really creepy comments on my fb: when I was complaining about problems with my laptop he offered to lend me his laptop in the middle of study week, he made comments about buying me some expensive stuff which a whole group of us were gushing over. I removed him from fb once but then he made such fuss that people thought there was something between us and that I dumped him. For my birthday, he asked me for weeks about what I wanted from him. When I named a cadbury chocolate just to make him stop asking, he gave me a huge carton of it. And he insisted on carrying it up into my room when I asked to him too take some of it as it was too heavy :indiff: He also gives really soapy compliments which I have no idea how to respond to and yesterday he was trying to convince me to let him feel my hair :wtf:

    I was nice to him for the first couple of months but since then I've been actively trying to get rid of him. Nothing seems to work, I've tried being very rude to him, turning into one of the girls who talk 24/7 about the bf, completely ignoring him and making excuses about having to go somewhere else. If anything it only seems to have turned him more stalkerish..

    Just to be clear, I don't usually get loads of attention from guys (I tend to push off people and turn completely cold even when someone is just trying to friendly, but thats a different story) and he is the kind who would actually be attractive if he wasn't so creepy - not completely bad looking, rich, confident etc. Its starting to seriously piss off my bf and he doesn't approach me when my bf is around but I have no idea how to stop him when my bf is not around. I have made it very clear that I don't think of him as anything more than a friend, but I can't make him stop.. What am I doing wrong? :puppyeyes:
    I'm sure he's not like the image below, although you never know! I would tell him about this, because, seeing as though you have a boyfriend, it's completely inappropriate behaviour in my book. If I had a girlfriend and somebody did those things to here (e.g. the gifts), I'd have to punch him at least once. It IS totally stalkerish.

    http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:A...Kl4AHc7yxT7kbX
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    (Original post by Tits&Acid)
    Get your bf to sort him out.
    Boyfriend + some mates toss the guy into the boot of a car, drive around a bit, leave him in some woods, hey presto, **** scared out of him.
 
 
 
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