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My boyfriend says no sex before marriage BUT... asking for Christians/any advice!? Watch

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    Since you love him so much, and you are sure he is the person you want to spend your life with, then marry him. Its really not that difficult.
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    (Original post by Mad4footie)
    It doesn't work like that. If you knowingly and willingly sin because you intend on asking God for forgiveness, then you're not really sorry. I'm pretty sure God wouldn't be so forgiving then.
    oh jeezz calm down already...you don't think i know that...I've grown up in a church I am fully aware that you shouldn't do shiz like that
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    By doing everything other than sex with you, according to the religion he claims to be following, he is letting God down just as much as if he had sex. He's pretending to be pure when he isn't, which is pure bull****. If he doesn't want to have sex before marriage then fine, I respect that belief, but people who don't have sex but do everything else are nothing but hypocrites. He isn't pleasing you or God, he's trying to half please both...
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    You've done everything BUT penetrative sex? Sorry but that doesn't count. You may still be a virgin, but the Bible is clear. No sexual contact until marriage.

    If you have done everything BUT sex you might as well there is no point continuing pretending your some God obeying innocent virgin, you might aswell lose your virginity and be done with it.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm 18, non religious and have been with my boyfriend who I completely and utterly love for over a year, he shares my love yet is Christian.
    Ever since we first met, I have always understood the rule - no sex before marriage. Never have I ever tried to change this for him.
    However, a few months into our relationship he told me that he previously had sex with his ex girlfriend, of which he said was the biggest mistake of his life - he went on to repent his sin and ask for Gods forgiveness, he now see's himself as a virgin again. For me being non - religious, this is hard to understand and the fact he gave himself to another girl and won't with me makes me feel... well y'know, it's been hard.
    I learned to accept it and over the past year we have done everything sexually apart from pentrative sex.
    Over the past few weeks, things seem to of got more and more sexual between us so I decided to ask him what he thought about the fact we couldn't have sex. We have never spoken about it before.
    He says that he loves me so much, that everytime we're intimate he wishes he could, yet the only thing stopping him is that he doesn't want to let God or his family down - I understand. Yet I find it highly frustrating when he says that he can't wait until marriage and he wants to be my first no matter what. He's getting confused about what the right thing to do is - he's can't understand why some Christians believe that even to kiss before marriage is wrong and others think differently. He also thinks that the bible is hugely outdated and how can sex before marriage possibly apply to this century!
    So basically, it's a huge muddle!

    I love him to the bottom of my heart, I see sex as LOVE. I have never felt the need to give my virginity away before but with him, it's just different - it feels soooo right.
    The fact that he has before and is confused about what is right and wrong is frustrating - yet never would I push him into anything and the bottom line is I don't want him to go against God.
    I want him to do what HE wants rather than what he THINKS he has to do in the expectations of others.

    If anybody can offer me any advice then I would be so grateful, whether I am being out of order or what Christians are allowed to do - I mean so many Christians do have sex before marriage - is it up to them?

    Please help, thankyou!
    And sorry it's so long!
    its all bull crap. doing sexual stuff is just as bad as having sex. i know some nutters like this, and trust me, its a bloody waste of time.
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    (Original post by Stefan1991)
    You've done everything BUT penetrative sex? Sorry but that doesn't count. You may still be a virgin, but the Bible is clear. No sexual contact until marriage.

    If you have done everything BUT sex you might as well there is no point continuing pretending your some God obeying innocent virgin, you might aswell lose your virginity and be done with it.
    gosh, you're so right. stupid people.
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    No, I agree with all of those who say that any of it = sex. I know this world is still a bit mad and apparently you're not a virgin if you've had oral/manual sex with a million guys..(I mean, what happens with lesbians and gay men? Sheesh.)
    OP, my last boyfriend was a super-strong Baptist Christian and used to rebuke me for not being chaste enough...total waste of time. It got so boring.
    Compromises like that don't work. I used to think that doing everything apart from penetrative sex was okay (I used to want to wait for marriage), but it's so difficult to stop. If the Bible said specifically, "All those who participate in penetrative sex are fornicators and the others are okay, then yeah. He's trying to convince himself. If he's seen you down there and vice versa, there is no way that is not sexual contact. He needs to wake up.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm 18, non religious and have been with my boyfriend who I completely and utterly love for over a year, he shares my love yet is Christian.
    Ever since we first met, I have always understood the rule - no sex before marriage. Never have I ever tried to change this for him.
    However, a few months into our relationship he told me that he previously had sex with his ex girlfriend, of which he said was the biggest mistake of his life - he went on to repent his sin and ask for Gods forgiveness, he now see's himself as a virgin again. For me being non - religious, this is hard to understand and the fact he gave himself to another girl and won't with me makes me feel... well y'know, it's been hard.
    I learned to accept it and over the past year we have done everything sexually apart from pentrative sex.
    Over the past few weeks, things seem to of got more and more sexual between us so I decided to ask him what he thought about the fact we couldn't have sex. We have never spoken about it before.
    He says that he loves me so much, that everytime we're intimate he wishes he could, yet the only thing stopping him is that he doesn't want to let God or his family down - I understand. Yet I find it highly frustrating when he says that he can't wait until marriage and he wants to be my first no matter what. He's getting confused about what the right thing to do is - he's can't understand why some Christians believe that even to kiss before marriage is wrong and others think differently. He also thinks that the bible is hugely outdated and how can sex before marriage possibly apply to this century!
    So basically, it's a huge muddle!

    I love him to the bottom of my heart, I see sex as LOVE. I have never felt the need to give my virginity away before but with him, it's just different - it feels soooo right.
    The fact that he has before and is confused about what is right and wrong is frustrating - yet never would I push him into anything and the bottom line is I don't want him to go against God.
    I want him to do what HE wants rather than what he THINKS he has to do in the expectations of others.

    If anybody can offer me any advice then I would be so grateful, whether I am being out of order or what Christians are allowed to do - I mean so many Christians do have sex before marriage - is it up to them?

    Please help, thankyou!
    And sorry it's so long!
    I am a christian and my last boyfriend of 2 years was too. We talked about the rule and we both agreed that we loved each other a lot. It was so lovely just being with him, I thought about asking about sex too but then i realised i may as well treasure the time i spend with him anyway, whether it be intimate or not. we did share a lot of sexual times but never had sex, in my opinion (and im sure in his too) sexual things were NOT the same as sex.

    I can understand your frustration completely as I wanted it near the end too and I know it's hard but all im saying is nothing neccessarily lasts forever, as my relationship with him didn't, and whatever your boyfriend wants to do then take that into consideration, and treasure every moment you have with him. If you really get upset about it and you really want to have sex before marriage, i suggest not trying to make him, but talk about it with him a lot more and if he still feels he must honour God's word, maybe the right thing to do (the last straw really) is to end it and find someone who shares the same opinions on relationships as you.

    I hope you figure this out, I hope I helped a little x
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    Hey,
    Okay I haven't read through everyones replies but here are my thoughts.
    I'm a Christian and I understand a lot of the dilemma of wanting to do what we think is right versus the obvious thing of wanting to be with someone you love now.
    If you have sex with him, he will associate you with his 'sin' like he does with the other girl. You don't want to lose him and you don't want to be something he regrets.
    Don't do it, but at the same time it's not fair for him to be so indecisive and put a lot of the pressure on you to keep boundaries too.
    Hope that helps!
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    Tell him Jesus was a kinky ******* who regularly visited "whorehouses".
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    (Original post by shinytoy)
    ...
    You do realize, however, that fornication did not actually mean sex before marriage when those passages where translated? The meaning of the word has just changed a lot since then.

    (Original post by word origin)
    Origin:
    1545–55; < Late Latin fornicātus (past participle of fornicārī to consort with prostitutes), equivalent to Latin fornic- (stem of fornix ) arch, vault, basement, brothel + -ātus -ate1
    http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/fornication
    http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/fornicate
    http://www.the-goldenrule.name/Fornication_ENGLISH/

    This, however, does in no way say that the bible does not ban sex before marriage, I have insufficient knowledge of the bible and, therefore, cannot judge that.
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    So this guy thinks he's going to heaven because he only lets you suck his **** everytime you meet? lol priceless
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    Did god say you can stick it in any hole but your vag? Sorry but I think if blow jobs etc don't count as sex then he wont count them as adultery. Wanna stay with a man who thinks god said it's ok to get a blowie from another woman? Ditch and run.
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    He's had sex before... to deny you sex because he feels it's wrong is just pathetic. After all, if he feels that bad afterwards why doesn't he just go and repent his sins again, if that's how easy it is?
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    Besides I also love how, since the Christian is a guy, everyone is bashing him, however, if he was a girl, people would see the OP as only wanting sex from the relationship and that he is exploiting the Christian. :rolleyes:
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    (Original post by shinytoy)
    - Ephesians 5:5

    1 thessalonians 4:3 - 7

    so yeah... if you shag him it is W...R...O...N...G.
    but man turn your face to the Light and obey God! if you love this dude, and want to spent your lifewith him, then marry!

    1 corinthians 7:9
    thank you for this shall be sending to all the pretend christians i know who claim "but im not perfect".
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    even kissing is wrong outside of marriage...

    where is this guy getting his biblical teachings from?!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm 18, non religious and have been with my boyfriend who I completely and utterly love for over a year, he shares my love yet is Christian.
    Ever since we first met, I have always understood the rule - no sex before marriage. Never have I ever tried to change this for him.
    However, a few months into our relationship he told me that he previously had sex with his ex girlfriend, of which he said was the biggest mistake of his life - he went on to repent his sin and ask for Gods forgiveness, he now see's himself as a virgin again. For me being non - religious, this is hard to understand and the fact he gave himself to another girl and won't with me makes me feel... well y'know, it's been hard.
    I learned to accept it and over the past year we have done everything sexually apart from pentrative sex.
    Over the past few weeks, things seem to of got more and more sexual between us so I decided to ask him what he thought about the fact we couldn't have sex. We have never spoken about it before.
    He says that he loves me so much, that everytime we're intimate he wishes he could, yet the only thing stopping him is that he doesn't want to let God or his family down - I understand. Yet I find it highly frustrating when he says that he can't wait until marriage and he wants to be my first no matter what. He's getting confused about what the right thing to do is - he's can't understand why some Christians believe that even to kiss before marriage is wrong and others think differently. He also thinks that the bible is hugely outdated and how can sex before marriage possibly apply to this century!
    So basically, it's a huge muddle!

    I love him to the bottom of my heart, I see sex as LOVE. I have never felt the need to give my virginity away before but with him, it's just different - it feels soooo right.
    The fact that he has before and is confused about what is right and wrong is frustrating - yet never would I push him into anything and the bottom line is I don't want him to go against God.
    I want him to do what HE wants rather than what he THINKS he has to do in the expectations of others.

    If anybody can offer me any advice then I would be so grateful, whether I am being out of order or what Christians are allowed to do - I mean so many Christians do have sex before marriage - is it up to them?

    Please help, thankyou!
    And sorry it's so long!
    to me your bf is a massive hypocrite. Not only is he not a virgin - hes using semantics - he cant stick it your vagina but in your hands, mouth and anus is fine. THe idea is abstinence not finding your way round it - just cos its not expressly forbidden
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    dammit just realised this thread is 18 month old AND i already posted in it
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    This is so sad... I used to think the same way, thank god I reasoned my way out of it. It makes sex a reason to get married, which is just ridiculous frankly
 
 
 
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