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Over 2 year relationship and things are looking bad. watch

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    Though I've already read the thread, yes, I think you should end it.

    From experience, if she "doesn't know" it is a sugarcoated no. It sounds like either, she never loved you, or the honeymoon period has fizzled out and is more interested in other people (not that she is cheating or fancies other people, but she is probably in the relationship out of inertia than actual feelings).

    Sorry mate. : (
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    Well we are on a break, for this week. i'm giving her the space she needs to catch up on her a-levels, and for me to get on with my uni work. and for her to figure out how she feels.
    • #1
    #1

    (Original post by Shibbldib)
    Well we are on a break, for this week. i'm giving her the space she needs to catch up on her a-levels, and for me to get on with my uni work. and for her to figure out how she feels.
    Fair enough good luck!
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    hey, firstly i hope your okay. ive literally been through the same situation as youve described and i think youve done the right thing to be on a break (for the moment) sorry but this reply is going to be jumbled!
    okay she has 5 close male friends - i know this hurts and i can understand why your jealous, its natural to be anyway - the thing is there isnt much you can do about it right now. she obviously cant see the problem with it (like with me). do you have close girl mates that you could use as an example? i think the only way you can do something about it is if you tell her how its making you feel without being annoyed as it will only get her back up as it did mine.
    making up her mind - it doesnt come overnight, pressurising her to give an answer will only get her confused and take longer over it. jusrt step back on the intensity and she should be able to think clearly and it will be evident what her answer is. this is also probably why you havent been having sex as much - not because she doent love you - cause she needs a bit of space.
    she didnt want you at the party - you said yourself you dont get on with her mates. she'll be under a lot of pressure to spend time with her mates (and they wont like being chosen under you) she knows that if your there shell be with you all the time and her mates will get annoyed so she wont have as good a time as she could have (i know its hard to hear)
    she cheted on you- people make mistakes and can be sorry - like with me im sorry, i regret it and ill never do it again. im glad you gave her another chance - just remind her of how she felt then.
    dont take advice from your mates - they probably only know the bad things and will want you free from her when its not necessarly the best thing for you.
    i think you need to remove youself completely from her for a week (or longer if she needs it) - no contact at all. and she should realise how much she misses you and loved having you in her life
    you two were together a long time and people dont just fall out of love, shes attached to you emotionally and what was there before can always be rekindled.
    i hope everything works out! ( sorry i managed to delete everything i put first time round and this isnt half as long or as good as the other one but i havent done my corsework which is in for tomorrow and i need to get that done, and im pissed of cause i want to help but i havent remembered everything i put before and i havent got time now - so if your still at a loss i dont mind you ringing me. this situatiuon is so similar to mine, i dont want you to make the same mistakes and be unhappy! ) x
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    (Original post by Shibbldib)
    Well we are on a break, for this week. i'm giving her the space she needs to catch up on her a-levels, and for me to get on with my uni work. and for her to figure out how she feels.
    Good luck, let us know how it goes

    To be honest I agree with the people saying end it already before things get worse and you end up feeling even worse. I also think you did the right thing by giving her space, sounds like you were suffocating her slightly (not literally).
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    (Original post by Shibbldib)
    Ive been with my girlfriend for 2 years and 3 months and 1 day exactly and i honestly love her, and she says she loves me too. but she also recently came out with that she has lost her spark for me, and we havent been having sex much at all and she is hardly ever in the mood anymore.
    also she has 5 males friends, who are obsessed with her and i have to hear about them all of the time, I cant help but feel jealous and she can't understand that she shouldnt have male best friends when you are in a close relationship.
    she says because she's only 18 she wants to be free and not have affect her decisions, and various other heartbreaking things, that have all come out recently because of exam stress and university pressure.
    I just dont know what to do, for weeks now ive been waiting for her to make up her mind but it's getting me down and i cant take it. this weekend together was great, however she went to a part last night, and didnt want me to come because i dont get on with her friends and she doesnt want it to be awkward and for me to ruin the party. she's wonderful at hurting me these days. That just makes me think she doesnt want me there so she can **** about and do whatever she likes. what else am i meant to think. also one reason im so insecure about it is that early in our relationship she cheated on me, but cried her eyes out over it, and made up for it and earnt my trust again, but i guess not completely.
    i really love her and cant bear it without her, but this it all too much, i feel like she's suddenly become afraid of commitment. should i just end it and stop waiting for her to reach a decision. or maybe threaten it, so she stop ****ing me about. my brother says it's obvious im unhappy and i need to do something. sorry for rambling and not being straight to the point.
    I disagree with what you said about her not being able to have male best friends if she's in a relationship- you shoud be able to trust her enough for her to have one.
    End it for your sake. My ex boyfriend was in such a state when he was trying to decide what to do about us, his parents and even his boss were really worried about him. Sadly, in long term relationships, the spark might disappear after a while, sometimes you can get it back with a bit of work, but sometimes you won't and you'll have to end it
    • #2
    #2

    I agree with ellie. Maybe a simple thing as giving your girlfriend space will solve things and you wont have to end it unneccesarly. Good luck!
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    (Original post by ellie.)
    hey, firstly i hope your okay. ive literally been through the same situation as youve described and i think youve done the right thing to be on a break (for the moment) sorry but this reply is going to be jumbled!
    okay she has 5 close male friends - i know this hurts and i can understand why your jealous, its natural to be anyway - the thing is there isnt much you can do about it right now. she obviously cant see the problem with it (like with me). do you have close girl mates that you could use as an example? i think the only way you can do something about it is if you tell her how its making you feel without being annoyed as it will only get her back up as it did mine.
    making up her mind - it doesnt come overnight, pressurising her to give an answer will only get her confused and take longer over it. jusrt step back on the intensity and she should be able to think clearly and it will be evident what her answer is. this is also probably why you havent been having sex as much - not because she doent love you - cause she needs a bit of space.
    she didnt want you at the party - you said yourself you dont get on with her mates. she'll be under a lot of pressure to spend time with her mates (and they wont like being chosen under you) she knows that if your there shell be with you all the time and her mates will get annoyed so she wont have as good a time as she could have (i know its hard to hear)
    she cheted on you- people make mistakes and can be sorry - like with me im sorry, i regret it and ill never do it again. im glad you gave her another chance - just remind her of how she felt then.
    dont take advice from your mates - they probably only know the bad things and will want you free from her when its not necessarly the best thing for you.
    i think you need to remove youself completely from her for a week (or longer if she needs it) - no contact at all. and she should realise how much she misses you and loved having you in her life
    you two were together a long time and people dont just fall out of love, shes attached to you emotionally and what was there before can always be rekindled.
    i hope everything works out! ( sorry i managed to delete everything i put first time round and this isnt half as long or as good as the other one but i havent done my corsework which is in for tomorrow and i need to get that done, and im pissed of cause i want to help but i havent remembered everything i put before and i havent got time now - so if your still at a loss i dont mind you ringing me. this situatiuon is so similar to mine, i dont want you to make the same mistakes and be unhappy! ) x
    Thank you for the advice
 
 
 
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