Turn on thread page Beta

Deep down, no parent wants their kid to be gay watch

Announcements
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by kerily)
    Imagine that a heterosexual woman told you that she hoped her son grew up to be heterosexual. Would you seriously assume that she meant from this that she was attracted to him? :lolwut:
    That's kinda different though, that would be based in stereotypes/tradition/wanting grandchildren. If you can tell me a reason why this case may occur without resorting to those, then I might see a point in this, but it's not really comparable IMO.

    (Original post by Foo.mp3)
    I think I understand the confusion now – what I said means, in the first instance, that some gay parents will be fine with their kids being gay/bi-curious, the inference here is that they will ‘want’ them to be 'gay' e.g. explore their sexuality if the feeling takes them/be openly gay, if indeed they are that way inclined, rather than closet

    It’s also possible (if less probable) to imagine gay parents who think the world/their community would be better off if there were more homosexuals in it however, and by that virtue (a minority) might perhaps literally want (in the more affirmative sense) at least one of their kids to turn out gay.. or indeed in their own image, to include this particular characteristic, again improbable but still plausible
    Fair point. I hadn't considered it cos I can't really imagine anyone feeling that way, but sure, now you've mentioned it, this group of people may exist. I hope not though, sounds awfully bigoted.
    Offline

    11
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by ilickbatteries)
    If it's rubbish then please explain to me why female homosexuality/bisexuality/curiousity is not looked down upon so much then? I've seen girls get with other girls in pubs and clubs being egged on by spectators. I know a lad who kissed another lad who then got beat up for doing it.

    Female homosexual behaviour is nowhere near as stigmatised as male homosexuality.
    If the two women involved are conventionally "unattractive" or fit into a conventional stereotype of "butch" lesbianism = still very much stigmatised, often worse than male homosexuality IME.

    If the two women involved are conventionally attractive = not stigmatised in the same way, but accepted more for being "hot" or playing to heterosexual male titillation, and real relationships treated with nowhere near the same validity as hetero ones.

    Lesbian homophobia comes from a slightly different place, but still just as strong ans prevalent.
    All IME of course.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Jesse_Mac)
    Fair point. I hadn't considered it cos I can't really imagine anyone feeling that way, but sure, now you've mentioned it, this group of people may exist. I hope not though, sounds awfully bigoted.
    I assume you're responding to this point:
    "gay parents who think the world/their community would be better off if there were more homosexuals in it however, and by that virtue (a minority) might perhaps literally want (in the more affirmative sense) at least one of their kids to turn out gay.. "

    What makes that perspective bigoted? Why do you hope such parents don't exist?

    As members of a persecuted minority that gains more acceptance and safety in their community through larger (out) numbers, it makes perfect sense. Would an ethnic minority not wish there would be more people of their ethnicity in the community? Would left-handed parents not want their children to be left-handed so as to increase the left-handed population and garner acceptance?
    Offline

    11
    ReputationRep:
    thats absolute complete and utter *******s.
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by BPhilHopeful)
    Then there's a lot of 'confusion' going on, given that over 1000 other species have been observed practicing homosexuality (when heterosexuality was an option)! (citations on p. 10 of this thread)
    the citation is interesting. but i still wonder whether it is sensible to talk about gay and straight animals, given how thick animals are. say a giraffe is shagging another male giraffe, i reckon he might think he'd got the girl giraffe!
    and say his father was watching, would he really be saying, "holy mackerel my gay giraffe son is making my family look bad!"
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by kellymichelle)
    elephants

    yeah, well, you're happy to call that elephant gay, but if he was standing in front of you, you wouldn't be so cheeky!
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    I don't think many parents 'want' their child to be gay (with a few exceptions, I'm sure) but that doesn't prevent them from accepting the fact that their child is homosexual, if that's how things turn out.
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by chloemo14)
    If the two women involved are conventionally "unattractive" or fit into a conventional stereotype of "butch" lesbianism = still very much stigmatised, often worse than male homosexuality IME.

    If the two women involved are conventionally attractive = not stigmatised in the same way, but accepted more for being "hot" or playing to heterosexual male titillation, and real relationships treated with nowhere near the same validity as hetero ones.

    Lesbian homophobia comes from a slightly different place, but still just as strong ans prevalent.
    All IME of course.

    lesbian relationships are a bit of fun. and, as you say, really good red-hot titillation. but they will never, as you say, be considered as valid as hetero ones ... because they are not as valid! lesbian couples, and male gay couples, can not have children, that is what makes them seem a bit pointless and childish.
    Offline

    11
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Redreynard)
    lesbian relationships are a bit of fun. and, as you say, really good red-hot titillation. but they will never, as you say, be considered as valid as hetero ones ... because they are not as valid! lesbian couples, and male gay couples, can not have children, that is what makes them seem a bit pointless and childish.
    your trolling is frankly uninspired and boring.
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by chloemo14)
    your trolling is frankly uninspired and boring.

    people who complain about trolling tend to be narrow-minded folk who can not accept that not every one subscribes to the politically correct versioon of life handed out by the bbc. so when they hear an opinion different to their own they get very upset. but fear not my friend, you can turn on the telly and hear about our happy rainbow nation any time you like.
    i remember once living in that world. i was a child, my mother told me that all politicians were lovely people all fighting to improve things for all the good people of the country. but then i left my seventh birthday behind me and grew up!
    Offline

    11
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Redreynard)
    people who complain about trolling tend to be narrow-minded folk who can not accept that not every one subscribes to the politically correct versioon of life handed out by the bbc. so when they hear an opinion different to their own they get very upset. but fear not my friend, you can turn on the telly and hear about our happy rainbow nation any time you like.
    i remember once living in that world. i was a child, my mother told me that all politicians were lovely people all fighting to improve things for all the good people of the country. but then i left my seventh birthday behind me and grew up!
    Believe me, I live everyday with the judgements of people who don't have a progressive personal outlook - I am more than able to accept that there are people with similar views to the ones you're espousing. Your tone and manner of presenting arguments though = troll.
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by chloemo14)
    Believe me, I live everyday with the judgements of people who don't have a progressive personal outlook - I am more than able to accept that there are people with similar views to the ones you're espousing. Your tone and manner of presenting arguments though = troll.
    you're a progressive. (perhaps progressing towards hell in a handcart for all i know.) but as a progressive, well ...
    don't trolls have rights!!?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Redreynard)
    the citation is interesting. but i still wonder whether it is sensible to talk about gay and straight animals, given how thick animals are. say a giraffe is shagging another male giraffe, i reckon he might think he'd got the girl giraffe!
    and say his father was watching, would he really be saying, "holy mackerel my gay giraffe son is making my family look bad!"
    Do you think humans make their sexual choices based on rationality? I think it's about hormones, it's about physical attraction.

    You're making a huge assumption with the last quote. Why would homosexual behavior negatively affect social standing? In some species, homosexuality is a factor in improving social connections and prestige.
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by BPhilHopeful)
    You're making a huge assumption with the last quote. Why would homosexual behavior negatively affect social standing? In some species, homosexuality is a factor in improving social connections and prestige.
    Just thought I'd back this up with money.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I am a married lesbian, with two step children. My parents were shocked when I came out, but there is no way that my dad would rather I was straight now he knows that it hasn't stopped me having a happy marriage and a loving supportive relationship with a woman - it wasn't that he didn't believe those things were possible, he'd just never given my sexuality any thought as I was growing up I don't think.

    I personally don't care if my step children are gay or straight, to be honest, I don't feel that they are ever going to have to declare what their sexuality is to me or my wife when they're older, if they go out with men or women we won't bat an eyelid. I only have one request from my children and that is that they are safe and careful and that they live their lives to the fullest in the way that they want to do so, isn't that all that a parent wants from their child?

    Its not a parent's job to have an opinion, so long as your child is a good person what more can you ask for. We want our children to work hard at school so that they can ultimately have good jobs, and opportunities to do as they please, be that travel, start a family, anything they want, but I most certainly would not be happier if they were straight or gay, it is none of my business who they choose to wake up next to and fall asleep with every night once they're old enough to have relationships!
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Redreynard)
    lesbian couples, and male gay couples, can not have children, that is what makes them seem a bit pointless and childish.
    So I am guessing you have the same opinions about straight couples who can't have kids?
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by BPhilHopeful)
    I assume you're responding to this point:
    "gay parents who think the world/their community would be better off if there were more homosexuals in it however, and by that virtue (a minority) might perhaps literally want (in the more affirmative sense) at least one of their kids to turn out gay.. "

    What makes that perspective bigoted? Why do you hope such parents don't exist?

    As members of a persecuted minority that gains more acceptance and safety in their community through larger (out) numbers, it makes perfect sense. Would an ethnic minority not wish there would be more people of their ethnicity in the community? Would left-handed parents not want their children to be left-handed so as to increase the left-handed population and garner acceptance?
    Oh dear, this thread seems to take exception to what I'm saying an awful lot. I did consider what you're saying and it would be perfectly logical to want the incidence of homosexuality to increase as to garner acceptance (let's assume it definitely works that way). However we know acceptance isn't currently the case, so the change that an increase of one gay person in a world of 7B is infinitesimal. That increase is unlikely to change much on a large society-wide scale. There's the much bigger issue that that individual (the person's son/daughter!) is going to be born into a world where they're not fully accepted.

    So bigoted wasn't the word, I apologise for that, but I think it seems clear if the choice is 'straight child, no issues with lack of sexual acceptance' vs 'gay child, discriminated against but can raise the incidence of homosexuality in the world by a millionth of a percent', I think the parent would rather take the more compassionate side towards their child and wish them to be born straight. Parents are there to look out for their own children first and foremost. That's why I think parents want straight children. I'd love it if the population was equally dispersed between all ethnicities, genders, sexualities and all other traits that make us who we are.

    Though this area of discussion is quite pointless as no one gets to choose their/their child's sexuality.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Hopple)
    Just thought I'd back this up with money.
    so apparently it pays to be gay...at least to be a gay man
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Jesse_Mac)
    Oh dear, this thread seems to take exception to what I'm saying an awful lot. I did consider what you're saying and it would be perfectly logical to want the incidence of homosexuality to increase as to garner acceptance (let's assume it definitely works that way). However we know acceptance isn't currently the case, so the change that an increase of one gay person in a world of 7B is infinitesimal. That increase is unlikely to change much on a large society-wide scale. There's the much bigger issue that that individual (the person's son/daughter!) is going to be born into a world where they're not fully accepted.

    So bigoted wasn't the word, I apologise for that, but I think it seems clear if the choice is 'straight child, no issues with lack of sexual acceptance' vs 'gay child, discriminated against but can raise the incidence of homosexuality in the world by a millionth of a percent', I think the parent would rather take the more compassionate side towards their child and wish them to be born straight. Parents are there to look out for their own children first and foremost. That's why I think parents want straight children. I'd love it if the population was equally dispersed between all ethnicities, genders, sexualities and all other traits that make us who we are.

    Though this area of discussion is quite pointless as no one gets to choose their/their child's sexuality.
    You're right that such speculation is pointless, but since we're engaging in it...

    Of course one individual makes an insignificant impact, but that logic also leads to people not voting and other behaviors that are detrimental to society.

    As for the hardship endured by homosexual individual, it's important to remember the moral role of self-sacrifice: a consequentialist might argue that people have a duty to come out even if it makes their life harder, because they are helping others have a better quality of life.
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Vozhak)
    Parents do not have a say in sexuality........

    deep down racist parents do not want their kid to inter-marry, deep down some parents only want sons----------- deep down some parents want "good-looking" kids only-------- deep down some parents want their kids not to be short

    this is no different they do not have a say.
    This.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: April 5, 2011
Poll
Which accompaniment is best?
Useful resources

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.