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I have this really Fat friend... watch

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    (Original post by Iorek)
    Tell him to migrate to USA
    I would thumb up you, but used all of them up.
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    well if he self harms then he needs to get over that before he can attempt any form of relationship and losing weight would be a good idea, as it will probably lift his moods.

    and im sure he is a nice guy but he might need to rethink his whole approch to women! x
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    After reading the first 2 pages about what you're saying about him, my advice would be to tell him straight. I know you said he's really sensitive, but it sounds like you're pretty close to him. He might be able to handle it if it's coming from you.

    I'm not saying you need to tell him girls mimic being sick when they think of him, but probably just mention the weight and the fact that he falls in love so quickly (just mention its a turn off). Maybe you could suggest going to the gym with him to start him off? It's hard to say exactly what the best method is.
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    (Original post by Arteta)
    I'd say that you're right; you've been on TSR so long that you think you're taking the high ground because of somebody's spelling mistakes, which is not only incredibly geeky but also immature. Now you've contradicted everything.

    You sound like you think you're a really nice person, but you're naïve.

    The OP has come here asking for advice about a situation that isn't nice to be in. It's up to her why she wants to be friends with this guy. The very fact she's posting on here asking how to deal with this dilemma shows that she cares about the guy, otherwise she'd just call him fat and move on. You may not mind dating 22 stone men, but the majority of girls do and it does not make them shallow.
    Posting about this situation is not *****ing either. The guy probably knows he's fat and the OP's not even using it in a derogatory way, it would be weird if she set up this thread and missed out the fact that he was fat.

    OP, it's a tough situation but you have to let him know as a friend. You could either tell him that your friends don't him attractive, and when asks why then let him know. Don't be cruel about it. He needs to hear this sort of thing so he can do something about it. Also tell him that being too open and clingy is a turn off for women. Telling him this may prompt him to make a change in his life that could lead to happiness, not telling him would make you a worse friend IMO.

    Ignore posters like this pink girl, they're delusional and would have you believe you're shallow.
    Have you actually read the WHOLE thread, or just select parts? I never said that the OP was *****ing about him because she said she's fat. I completely understand mentioning his weight in regards to him trying to find a girlfriend. I already SAID that it's understandable that he might find it difficult, given his size, as a lot of girls ARE turned off by larger guys, and I get that.

    The part that questions precisely how good a "friend" the OP is to this large fellow, is the fact that she is very crude in describing his stretch marks that are the size of her fist (he's a 20 odd stone man, of COURSE he's going to have sodding stretch marks, was that remark really called for?!) goes on to insult his genitalia, paints his personality in the worst possible light etc.

    In fact, until I called into question WHY the OP was even friends with this guy in the first place, that's the only time she then started saying anything nice about him at all.
    So, like I said in an earlier post, she's not doing him any favours in the picture she paints of him. In fact, with friends like the OP, this guy is never going to get a girlfriend. She's going around broadcasting to the world just how horrible he is!

    Her mentioning his WEIGHT is not the problem at all.

    If she really does want him to find a girlfriend, I hardly think telling hundreds of strangers how awful he is, is a good way to go about it!

    edited to add : If the OP really DID feel the need to put all those criticisms in when describing him, don't you think a much more constructive way to go about this would be to say :

    right, I have a friend, he's 26 stone. He's finding it difficult to find a girlfriend for several reasons. The first is his weight obviously. The second is that, unfortunately he's prone to streaking and has unusually sized genitalia. The third is that he comes across as very possessive in relationships, and feels as though he's fallen in love too quickly and too easily. All of these things are off-putting to the girls that he knows. As a result he's quite lonely.

    On the other hand, he does have lots of good qualities, which are, for a start, that he is a good listener, and has been there for me in very difficult times. He's a very dependable loyal friend. *the OP could list a few more good qualities here - does he have a good hair cut? nice skin? etc. we know literally NOTHING about his good points, as the OP just doesn't say anything good about her 'friend'. Which qualities can he highlight, which are his best parts?*

    Could you please give me some further advice as to what I can say to him to help bring out the best in him so that he can find a girlfriend. He's a very close friend he means a lot to me, so despite the fact that he's not perfect, I want to help him, because that's what friends are for. He deserves to be happy.
    There, now, is there any reason she couldn't have said something like the above? That's more along the lines of how I'd expect a friend to talk about their friend if they were genuinely trying to help them. Because this thread comes across as the OP just wanting to tell a forum full of strangers about how disgusting her 'fat friend' is.
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    (Original post by emiliee21)
    It also doesnt help that he gets naked at partys all the time and he has the smallest penis ive ever seen but the biggest balls....
    and basically every girl knows this :/
    This made me laugh .

    I know this may not sound like good advice to you, and if someone gave me this advice I don't think I'd be brave enough to take it, but is there no way you can be honest and tell him that he needs to lost the weight? I know it sounds so cruel and it'll be horrible to do, but you'll just have to keep lying to him otherwise and he'll just remain big and unhealthy.

    EDIT: Also, I'm really sorry if this has been debated and pushed aside in the thread. I kind of read the first page and then felt the need to comment after your big balls post. Haha .
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    (Original post by emiliee21)
    ...like 26 stone fat, and he's lovely guy but of course most girls don't find him attractive. Which is a problem as he really wants a girlfriend.
    He ''falls in love'' with girls really easy (once he had only seen a picture of a girl and said 'I want to shout my love for her from the rooftops), and the only relationship hes actually been in he proposed to her after 8 months (age 17) and she broke up with him.
    Now hes coming to me asking me to set him up with my single friends, I've tried hinting that they wouldn't be interested but he cant take the hint and I can't tell him straight because he's over sensitive (he's attempted suicide and self harmed when hes been rejected in the past) but he is a really nice boy aswell so I don't want to avoid him/ really hurt his feelings. But hes put me in the really really difficult position of trying to find a nice pretty girl who would be interest in him.

    How do I get myself out of this nice and cleanly ?

    Any advice no matter how obscure would be appreciated!
    His not a nice boy, your confusing the term used by real nice guys to refer to 'nice guys' he has no respect for himself or women, he see's them as sexual objects that he must claim, THATS ALL IM SAYING.
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    If hes going to judge girls on their appearance and only give the really hot ones a chance, hes can't get upset when they judge him in the same way and find him below par. The guy sounds emotionally unstable and incredibly unattractive. If you try and persuade someone to get with him, knowing what hes like, you will basically be screwing THEM over.

    Guy needs to sort his own life out before attempting to bring anyone else into his depressing little world.
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    http://www.google.co.uk/search?q=fat...ient=firefox-a

    LOL @ second link.
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    (Original post by PinkMobilePhone)
    Have you actually read the WHOLE thread, or just select parts? I never said that the OP was *****ing about him because she said she's fat. I completely understand mentioning his weight in regards to him trying to find a girlfriend. I already SAID that it's understandable that he might find it difficult, given his size, as a lot of girls ARE turned off by larger guys, and I get that.

    The part that questions precisely how good a "friend" the OP is to this large fellow, is the fact that she is very crude in describing his stretch marks that are the size of her fist (he's a 20 odd stone man, of COURSE he's going to have sodding stretch marks, was that remark really called for?!) goes on to insult his genitalia, paints his personality in the worst possible light etc.

    In fact, until I called into question WHY the OP was even friends with this guy in the first place, that's the only time she then started saying anything nice about him at all.
    So, like I said in an earlier post, she's not doing him any favours in the picture she paints of him. In fact, with friends like the OP, this guy is never going to get a girlfriend. She's going around broadcasting to the world just how horrible he is!

    Her mentioning his WEIGHT is not the problem at all.

    If she really does want him to find a girlfriend, I hardly think telling hundreds of strangers how awful he is, is a good way to go about it!

    edited to add : If the OP really DID feel the need to put all those criticisms in when describing him, don't you think a much more constructive way to go about this would be to say :



    There, now, is there any reason she couldn't have said something like the above? That's more along the lines of how I'd expect a friend to talk about their friend if they were genuinely trying to help them. Because this thread comes across as the OP just wanting to tell a forum full of strangers about how disgusting her 'fat friend' is.
    This whole thread is centred around the fact that the guy can't get girls primarily because of his weight. There's no need to list his good points, or why she's friends with the guy, frankly that has nothing to do with you.
    If this was a more generic thread about his friendship and she had just listed those points you mentioned then fair enough, but it's not and so she doesn't need to compliment him.
    It's not *****ing to say these things behind his back. We all have friends that we like that do stupid things we don't approve of. One of my best friends is bad at returning my property and money, and I talk to my girlfriend about how it annoys me, but that doesn't mean i'm a bad friend or that i'm *****ing. If I were to make a TSR thread about it then I would not be telling you about his good points.

    Also you mention that she described his stretch marks, I see no problem with that. It's another separate point that would put girls off and although it comes from being overweight it's still a valid point of it's own.
    Why can't she be a good friend for mentioning him on his site? She provided no names or pictures, I imagine there's a situation like this for almost every overweight person in the country and we're not short of fatties. If you're going to be mad at her for this thread then you should go through 25% of TSR threads and say the same thing about them for talking about their girlfriends/friends 'publicly'.

    I'm not annoyed that you have these opinions, but more on how you judge others because of your opinions. Then you preach about your maturity and TSR experience as a way to prove your opinion, as though you have some sort of moral highground. Your opinion is no more morally correct than the OP's.
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    (Original post by FrigidSymphony)
    Or, barring any real solutions, show him this:
    http://cloudgirlfriend.com/1cky0
    What the hell is that?! Weirdest concept I've ever seen :rofl:

    OP, I would say encouraging him to lose weight in a constructive way would be helpful - go to the gym with him, go walking/jogging together or whatever. He obviously wants to lose weight or he wouldn't have spent all that money on it last year, so maybe having a friend helping him along the way would help.

    Also about the streaking at parties thing....maybe suggest to him that girls are uncomfortable with that and that it's putting them off rather than turning them on, so to speak :/
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    (Original post by street.lovin')
    hmmm... thats hard when people are so stubborn and never realise what is wrong in them. do what 'losingtouch.' said above. just tell him that they (the girls) aren't interested in anyone right now. or else just leave him and let him be like that. someone will probably tell him the truth one day.

    :dontknow:
    Er, I doubt that he doesn't know what's 'wrong in him'. If he's self harmed etc. It's probably because of the weight problems... :dontknow:
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    Buy him a gym membership as a gift.
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    (Original post by Arteta)
    This whole thread is centred around the fact that the guy can't get girls primarily because of his weight. There's no need to list his good points, or why she's friends with the guy, frankly that has nothing to do with you.
    If this was a more generic thread about his friendship and she had just listed those points you mentioned then fair enough, but it's not and so she doesn't need to compliment him.
    It's not *****ing to say these things behind his back. We all have friends that we like that do stupid things we don't approve of. One of my best friends is bad at returning my property and money, and I talk to my girlfriend about how it annoys me, but that doesn't mean i'm a bad friend or that i'm *****ing. If I were to make a TSR thread about it then I would not be telling you about his good points.

    Also you mention that she described his stretch marks, I see no problem with that. It's another separate point that would put girls off and although it comes from being overweight it's still a valid point of it's own.
    Why can't she be a good friend for mentioning him on his site? She provided no names or pictures, I imagine there's a situation like this for almost every overweight person in the country and we're not short of fatties. If you're going to be mad at her for this thread then you should go through 25% of TSR threads and say the same thing about them for talking about their girlfriends/friends 'publicly'.

    I'm not annoyed that you have these opinions, but more on how you judge others because of your opinions. Then you preach about your maturity and TSR experience as a way to prove your opinion, as though you have some sort of moral highground. Your opinion is no more morally correct than the OP's.
    So let me get this straight.

    (Original post by Arteta)
    This whole thread is centred around the fact that the guy can't get girls primarily because of his weight
    okay then, if that were true, there'd really be no need for a thread at ALL now would there. Because it's glaringly simple, he needs to lose weight in order to get a girlfriend, simples.

    Now, if that were the ONLY issue at hand, the OP wouldn't have had any need to mention anything else derogatory about this guy, now would she? Why mention anything else if the WHOLE THREAD is about him being fat?

    Come on now, you and I both know this isn't true.

    And by the way, stretch marks being the size of the OP's fist is the biggest load of crap I've ever heard. As I said before, my husband is bigger than the guy in question, and he has a number of stretch marks but none of them are fatter than my finger let alone a fist. That's just ludicrous. It's as though the OP is just making up stuff in order to be able to say even more nasty things about it. I mean, what's the point of saying that he has stretch marks that are bigger than her fist, which is a complete lie. That would be like a blue belt rather than a stretch mark if that were true!

    This whole thread is ridiculous.

    I think that the OP isn't being a very good friend. The guy himself, yes he could do with losing weight, but I think his main problems are his behaviour around girls, and he could do with stopping the nude marathons as well.
    Everybody else who has come up with "he sounds like a douche, he's never going to get a girlfriend" is probably incorrect, but who is to blame for that? The OP of course, because she's only given half the picture, by only listing his negative qualities. How does she expect people to give helpful objective advice, when the only thing she's done is talk about how awful he is, and not listed any redeeming qualities that might actually HELP him to get a girlfriend?

    That's it really, my advice would be to encourage the guy to keep his clothes on, take a little more pride in his appearance, focus on his good points, and not be so intense around girls that he fancies.

    I also advise the OP not to **** her mate off to other people, because that's not going to help his chances either

    I shan't reply on this thread any more because it's frankly annoying me now.
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    Lol pinkmobile phone is on her period
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    look him square in the eyes n go fatty mcfatty
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    Take Me Out? :dontknow:
    The way the OP has described this guy, there would be no lights on..

    OP, like a few people have suggested, why not just find an equally... curvy.. girl for him? Or someone who you think won't judge him for his weight and oversensitiveness..
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    Shame your friend wasn't a chick, I would of gave her a ride
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    when he self harmed, did he bleed strawberry ice cream?
    Nah, it was butter I think
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    If you hang out together, say im going for a jog, wana join? Get him strated
 
 
 
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