My first proper boyfriend broke up with me 9 weeks ago after 9 months together and I was absolutely heartbroken. I've completely lost count over the amount of times I've cried about him, talked about him, dreamt about us getting back together, etc. I've been so annoyed at myself for being like this as I get scared that I'm annoying my friends and although they say otherwise I'm not sure whether or not they're lying just to be nice to me.
3 weeks ago I went to a party, got *slightly* drunk and pulled four guys. Afterwards I felt guilty particularly seeing as guy no. 4 was the absolute worst enemy of my ex. 2 days later I found out my ex was going out with one of my friends. I had confided in this girl so she knew how upset I was, my friends had kept this away from me because they knew how upset I was and it was just all a big mess. I was once again in floods of tears upon finding this out because it meant that not only had my friends lied to me but that my ex had lied to me when he said he "cared" about me, wanted me to be happy, just didn't want a gf at the time etc.
My friends have all been telling me to get out and find someone new but I can't really bring myself to do it. I know he did (the two are no longer together but I still refuse to talk to her) but I still can't bring myself to do it. On top of finding someone knew they think I should get together with my ex's worst enemy as some kind of payback. I quite like the guy as a friend and he *was* a good kisser but again, I'm not sure what's right. What are your opinions on rebound relationships? Have any of you been helped by them in the past? After what he did for me would it be so wrong to date a guy he loathes?
Do rebound relationships help? watch
- Thread Starter
- 29-03-2011 00:15
- 29-03-2011 00:44
Your ex has "absolute worst" enemies? Who is he? Gaddafi?
Anyway, I think you're a childish ****.
- 29-03-2011 00:57
Is that you...
- 29-03-2011 01:03
cant be bothered to read all of that at this time of night.
but answering the thread title. yes in my experience they help while they last, but you can just end up back where you started feeling **** once they're over, othertimes they have seemed to lift me out of it all. so personally i think they're worth a shot
(Original post by Anonymous)
- 29-03-2011 01:11
I was once again in floods of tears upon finding this out because it meant that not only had my friends lied to me but that my ex had lied to me when he said he "cared" about me, wanted me to be happy, just didn't want a gf at the time etc.What are your opinions on rebound relationships? Have any of you been helped by them in the past? After what he did for me would it be so wrong to date a guy he loathes?
best revenge, be happy, have a laugh with mates, don't ***** and try and get more confident in other ways/meet new people, hopfully you will forget abou the little prick.
- 29-03-2011 11:10
they help for a little while and then little things about your ex pop in your head. plus you've gotta watch out whether you end up falling for the rebound guy completely, i did and i'm now with him, but it don't always work out that way.
- 29-03-2011 11:51
I feel that rebound does help. It makes you feel close to someone else, that there are other guys out there, etc.
Rebound relationships, I'm not too sure about. You need to make sure that this guy is around because you actually like him, rather than because you feel that you should have moved on since then. Also, don't compare yourself to your ex, people have different feelings towards a break up, and move on at different rates. If he has moved on, doesn't mean that you also should have, it just means you're taking your time.
When me and my ex broke up, I pulled this guy who has had a crush on me for AGES. Now a year later, I do actually like him. So technically he was my rebound at the time, but now, I actually do like him. My ex on the other hand, has been in about 3-4 "relationships" this past year, all lasting less than 7 weeks. (I would just call them flings tbh.) I wouldn't even try to compare myself to that.
- 29-03-2011 11:56
I think it can be hepful to get with other guys - be it ONS or just kidding etc, because it helps to disassociate such things with your ex. However, rebound relationships I think are dangerous ground. Coming out a r'ship [especially a long one] you have to take time to heal yourself. If you throw yourself straight into another high intensity relationship, you're not taking any time for yourself and chances are that relationship is going to go wrong as well...and how are you going to feel after that?
I think it's much more important just to take the time for yourself, to learn what life is like bieng single and learning to enjoy it. You should never get yourself into the mindset where you're only 'happy' when you're with someone...I know people who are like that and it's just horrible. The best thing you can do is show your ex that you're coping well. Hold your head up high and get on with things. If the right bloke pops into your life then sure, go for it, but I think rebound relationships, generally, are doomed to fail and probably cause more harm than good in the long run.