Has anyone had any experience of their partner suffering from major depression? I've been going out with my girlfriend for 7 months now, we're both 20. She's had a long hard history with depression, and she started suffering with it again shortly before we started going out. I am completely in love with her, and I'm doing all that I can to support her. It can just be really hard for me sometimes and I just wondered if anyone has any advice? Her depression is very isolating, so I often don't get to see her much and the antidepressants shes on seem to make her just feel no emotion, which is sometimes difficult for me when I have such strong feelings for her. I know she loves me, and she says I'm the only reason shes still alive. I just feel frustrated, is there anything more I can do?
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Depression in relationships watch
- 29-03-2011 00:22
- 29-03-2011 13:49
- 29-03-2011 14:26
My partner has been through waves of depression that I helped pulled him through, but I personally suffer from depression long term. To be honest, when you're that low there's not much that can be said to make you feel better but for me just having someone by my side and providing that reassurance is priceless. As strange as it sounds, one day the depression passes and all those words mean something again.
Mental illness is often as hard on the sufferer as it is on their loved ones, so what you're feeling right now is normal and you aren't alone. Is there anyone close you could talk and offload to? Your mum, perhaps? Or a close friend?
Last but not least I just wanted to say well done you for standing by her, you must love her an awful lot to stay dedicated in a relatively short relationship.
- 29-03-2011 14:33
Yes, my ex was depressed, taking drugs for it and everything. He needed to have phone calls til stupid o'clock in the morning and wanted to see me all the time to cope. I was basically what he was depending upon to live and I couldn't cope with it so after a while I broke up with him. He started bringing me down too, I was constantly tired because I got about 4hours sleep because of his phone calls and my work at school slipped. It's hard to break it off when they're so fragile but it was for the better because now he's with someone much more suited to him and is quite happy in a better job and seems to be doing well. I know that's not really the case for you OP because you say you love your girlfriend so much but those are just my experiences with my boyfriend having depression.
- 29-03-2011 14:33
The fact that you're still with her through it all is enough!
My boyfriend broke up with me shortly after I was diagnosed with depression. He refused to accept that the reason I'd changed so much was because I was depressed.
So, yeah. You're doing more than enough to support her imo. Good on you for wanting to help her through it and love her regardless.
- 29-03-2011 14:44
By staying with her, you've done an amazing thing. You should be proud.
I was diagnosed with depression after my boyfriend left me (not due to the break-up, but definitely causing more anxiety) and to this day, my ex refuses to accept that I wasn't happy during the last 6 months of our relationship, and that's heartbreaking.
It caused a lot of problems for us; I was clingy, I wanted to see him or talk to him every minute of every day. I pinned my happiness on being with him, and although it's unhealthy, I literally, still to this day, feel like there's something missing from my life when he isn't around. He doesn't know it, but he saved my life.
You've done an amazing thing. Be strong, and be there for her. You're an incredible person.
- 29-03-2011 18:48
Yes, I have experience with this. PM me if you want to talk - don't feel like posting it in a thread
But by staying with her, you are doing so so much, even if it doesnt feel like it
- 29-03-2011 19:42
Thank you all so much for your advice, its been really helpful. Its interesting to see that other peoples experiences involved a very clingy partner, my experience is sort of the opposite, in that she isolates herself a lot.