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Problem with grandmother...can't go on holidays as a family watch

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    Anon please because its a personal matter and don't want anyone to know about it, especially not my friends who are here.

    Basically, we haven't been on holidays as a family since 2003. This is because my grandmother (aged 86) is living with us now and we can't go with her on holidays and can't leave her alone at home. She is disabled, so needs attention at all times. And for that reason she can't leave the house with us because she can hardly walk and it would be a problem if she needed to go to toilet.

    We can't send her to an old people home because she doesn't speak English (only speaks punjabi) or leave her with someone else at home (we don't have any THAT close relatives here that could look after her).

    So, is there any solution to this problem? We so wanted to go see USA & Canada and Egypt, but can't because of her.

    tl;dr: My grandmother is 86 and we can't go on holidays with her and can't leave her back home alone. How can we go on holidays as a family?

    Thanks.
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    Tell her you're nipping out for milk.

    When you come back, insist that you were gone 5 minutes.
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    Care home temporarily...?
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    Stop thinking about yourself, man up and live with the circumstances. Your grandmother won't be alive for much longer, unless you're really lucky. America, Canada and Egypt will all be there after she's dead.
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    im sure there would be a number of carers in your area able to speak punjabi? that is if you live in a multi-cultural place, not like some little village
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Anon please because its a personal matter and don't want anyone to know about it, especially not my friends who are here.

    Basically, we haven't been on holidays as a family since 2003. This is because my grandmother (aged 86) is living with us now and we can't go with her on holidays and can't leave her alone at home. She is disabled, so needs attention at all times. And for that reason she can't leave the house with us because she can hardly walk and it would be a problem if she needed to go to toilet.

    We can't send her to an old people home because she doesn't speak English (only speaks punjabi) or leave her with someone else at home (we don't have any THAT close relatives here that could look after her).

    So, is there any solution to this problem? We so wanted to go see USA & Canada and Egypt, but can't because of her.

    [COLOR="Sienna"]tl;dr: My grandmother is 86 and we can't go on holidays with her and can't leave her back home alone. How can we go on holidays as a family?[/COLOR]

    Thanks.
    hide her in a suitcase,noone will ever no.
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    Sit her in front of the Lost boxset.
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    she wont be around for much longer. yeah you feel bad, but think how she feels. honestly think how she feels.
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    You can hire someone to look after her while you're away, but personally I know it sounds grim but I'd rather wait until the grandmother was no longer with me then holiday.
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    You could ask about temporary respite care? Or look for accessible holiday accommodation. Otherwise, travelling can wait for a few years Just enjoy the time you have with your grandmother for now.
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    (Original post by Hylean)
    Stop thinking about yourself, man up and live with the circumstances. Your grandmother won't be alive for much longer, unless you're really lucky. America, Canada and Egypt will all be there after she's dead.
    I couldn't mention everything, because nobody would read it all, but the reason why we can't do this is that I will be at university from this autumn. After that my holidays won't be easy and I've got two other sisters who are going to high school and primary school. The problem will be the holidays.

    After that I'll be married most likely and then it won't be possible at all. I see my fellow friends all going to different countries on holidays and we can't go anywhere. The maximum we go is for a 1 day trip to like Stonehenge or something...
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    We had a similar issue, although my grandparents occupy their own very nice house. My grandfather has Alzheimers of the worst kind and my grandmother is poor physically though mentally great. We have carers that look after them and stay the night, they're trustworthy and speak the language too.
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    (Original post by ElfManiac)
    You could ask about temporary respite care? Or look for accessible holiday accommodation. Otherwise, travelling can wait for a few years Just enjoy the time you have with your grandmother for now.
    This. You Don't realise what you have until it's gone. I'd give up everything I have to get my grandma back.
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    (Original post by MovingOn)
    You can hire someone to look after her while you're away, but personally I know it sounds grim but I'd rather wait until the grandmother was no longer with me then holiday.
    I've never really thought about that, because I don't know if there are carers who would actually look after her for throughout the entire holidays (min 7 days) that includes day and night. She sometimes goes to the toilet and it goes all over the place...if you know what I mean. Who is going to clean that then? She can't control it and I don't blame her for that.

    Are there actually carers that would look after her day and night?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I couldn't mention everything, because nobody would read it all, but the reason why we can't do this is that I will be at university from this autumn. After that my holidays won't be easy and I've got two other sisters who are going to high school and primary school. The problem will be the holidays.

    After that I'll be married most likely and then it won't be possible at all. I see my fellow friends all going to different countries on holidays and we can't go anywhere. The maximum we go is for a 1 day trip to like Stonehenge or something...
    Are you studying medicine? Apart from that, I don't know any other course that really cuts into your holiday time. You should be getting around three to four months in the summer, one month at Christmas and Easter and then reading week. Hell, even Oxbridge gives out long summer holidays. I can't see it being that much of a problem, even if you are doing medicine.

    However, if it's really that important to you, ask a close relative to come look after her for a week. It won't be that much of an imposition to them and it'll be like having a house-sitter as well. Otherwise, I'm sure you could find a private minder who is willing to look after her.
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    (Original post by insignificant)
    This. You Don't realise what you have until it's gone. I'd give up everything I have to get my grandma back.
    It's not quite like that to be honest. I mean we have been spending time with her since 2003/4. That's since when she is living at our house. If it was just a few months gone, I would think like that, but now its been quite a long time and she is mentally not very well either now. She hardly leaves her bed and is half-deaf, so can't talk to her much.
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    Care for her while you can. You'll regret it in the future if you act selfishly now.
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    (Original post by Hylean)
    Are you studying medicine? Apart from that, I don't know any other course that really cuts into your holiday time. You should be getting around three to four months in the summer, one month at Christmas and Easter and then reading week. Hell, even Oxbridge gives out long summer holidays. I can't see it being that much of a problem, even if you are doing medicine.

    However, if it's really that important to you, ask a close relative to come look after her for a week. It won't be that much of an imposition to them and it'll be like having a house-sitter as well. Otherwise, I'm sure you could find a private minder who is willing to look after her.
    Since I'm Muslim, you should understand that it is difficult to leave during the summer holidays and will be the case for quite some time now. Reason for that is that Ramadhan is during summer these days and it only goes back ~10 days every year (Islamic calendar is slightly shorter). So, we would have to wait quite long until the time would be convenient.

    And during ramadhan its not forbidden to travel, but it shouldn't be done unless absolutely necessary, which that wouldn't be the case for. And it would be impossible to really enjoy holidays when having to fast...
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    you could take her with you if you spend more time picking somewhere suitable to stay, if you manage to look after her at home I'm sure you could away and she would probably enjoy being away as much as you
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    (Original post by ash-corbett-collins)
    Care for her while you can. You'll regret it in the future if you act selfishly now.
    Is it really acting selfishly if we have looked after her for 7 odd years and gave up our holidays for such a long time?

    We went on holidays every year until then (Germany, Sweden, Italy, France,...) and have 'sacrificed' them for her now for such a long time. I don't think this is really selfish now is it?
 
 
 
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