Turn on thread page Beta

in love with this guy online, but trying to date somebody else in real life watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    please keep anon

    So I've met this guy online some months ago and have really fallen for him badly. I really like and love everything about him and he also turns me on like no man ever has before (honest, I was quite asexual before him). Problem? He's got quite a few issues and essentially doesn't want to meet.

    Been crushed about it, but a few weeks ago met somebody in real life that I quite like, but not as nearly as this online guy. Went on a couple of dates, he's really nice, but quite the opposite of what I usually go for in guys (the online guy on the other hand is perfect in that sense).

    Now I'm confused. Is it cheating if I still continue my online romance and keep dating the real life guy? Right now, seeing this man in real life feels like cheating on the online guy, not that he would care though (so I presume, haven't told him anything). Also, the real life guy knew I liked a guy online, but thinks that's over, as at the time when I told him about it, I really did think the online one finished it with me. What should I do??? If I break it off for good with the online guy (which would be the sane thing to do), I lose the little hope and chance I have of ever finally meeting him. I'm also quite certain that if I were to meet him, I'd prefer him over anybody I'm with atm.

    It's really been bothering me. I feel emotionally torn apart. I know it's a stupid situation probably, but there must be somebody out here with a similar experience? Anybody? Advice?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    no situation is stupid if it's made you feel 'emotionally torn apart'.
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    don't be stupid, in love with someone you've never met? really? wow
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Honestly hun, the internet can be so rubbish sometimes, great for making friends, but for relationships, not so much. I hate to say it but to most people these online relationships are just convienent, I'm not saying you guys don't have genuine feelings for eachother, but if he's not willing to meet, maybe he isn't THAT bothered. Besides, what if you were to meet him and he wasnt all you've built him up to be, that happens to much when you speak for so long then finally meet. And you really don't know how you'd feel for him in reality, he might do something that is really annoying.
    This guy is the fantasy, but wouldn't you prefer real? I say tell the online guy, either you want to meet up and make a real go of it, or you guys cool down a bit. Then if he says no, honestly try it with the new guy. Don't compare him to Mr internet, he's a different person, he's real. IMO forget online guy now and call real guy tonight and ask him out for a drink. Do it
    • PS Reviewer
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    PS Reviewer
    If you think there is a reasonable chance of this guy meeting you at some point, or if you are happier with him in your life in the situation you are in than the new guy in that situation then you should consider remaining 'with' the online guy.

    Ultimately though if you like the new guy and think it could work out then it may be worth a try - you have to ask if you can see it going anywhere though because if not there is the chance that you may be loosing your perfect guy for a fleeting thing. Of course you could meet him and he could be very different but the questions is whether you want to hold out for the chance to find out.
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    Just make sure he is who he says he is.

    I.e. not this guy.

    http://www.waltsense.com/storage/art...=1272068823110
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    please keep anon

    So I've met this guy online some months ago and have really fallen for him badly. I really like and love everything about him and he also turns me on like no man ever has before (honest, I was quite asexual before him). Problem? He's got quite a few issues and essentially doesn't want to meet.
    Sorry for the double post but what? :confused:
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by paddy__power)
    If you think there is a reasonable chance of this guy meeting you at some point, or if you are happier with him in your life in the situation you are in than the new guy in that situation then you should consider remaining 'with' the online guy.

    Ultimately though if you like the new guy and think it could work out then it may be worth a try - you have to ask if you can see it going anywhere though because if not there is the chance that you may be loosing your perfect guy for a fleeting thing. Of course you could meet him and he could be very different but the questions is whether you want to hold out for the chance to find out.
    but is remaining with the online guy and dating other people in real life cheating? and if so, who do you think I'm cheating on?
    • #2
    #2

    Online dating is the most complex **** ever it really is.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by ForensicShoe)
    Sorry for the double post but what? :confused:
    well never really liked or felt attracted to anybody before, never was aroused by a guy before, never felt as horny...
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    Why don't you try and meet the online guy and then decide?
    If he still refuses to meet, it'll probably not go anywhere so you'd be best sticking with the real life one. And also, if you meet him, he might turn out not to be as great as you thought he was and you may decide you like the real life guy better
    Offline

    7
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    please keep anon

    So I've met this guy online some months ago and have really fallen for him badly. I really like and love everything about him and he also turns me on like no man ever has before (honest, I was quite asexual before him). Problem? He's got quite a few issues and essentially doesn't want to meet.

    Been crushed about it, but a few weeks ago met somebody in real life that I quite like, but not as nearly as this online guy. Went on a couple of dates, he's really nice, but quite the opposite of what I usually go for in guys (the online guy on the other hand is perfect in that sense).

    Now I'm confused. Is it cheating if I still continue my online romance and keep dating the real life guy? Right now, seeing this man in real life feels like cheating on the online guy, not that he would care though (so I presume, haven't told him anything). Also, the real life guy knew I liked a guy online, but thinks that's over, as at the time when I told him about it, I really did think the online one finished it with me. What should I do??? If I break it off for good with the online guy (which would be the sane thing to do), I lose the little hope and chance I have of ever finally meeting him. I'm also quite certain that if I were to meet him, I'd prefer him over anybody I'm with atm.

    It's really been bothering me. I feel emotionally torn apart. I know it's a stupid situation probably, but there must be somebody out here with a similar experience? Anybody? Advice?

    it sounds more like infatuation:confused:
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I vote ditch online guy and go for the real life one (if you really can't make your mind up, perhaps you should have a quick meet-up with online guy to find out what he's really like, he may not be that perfect ).

    Just think, you're very lucky to have the choice of two guys that you like, so many posts on this forum consist of "I'm so lonely and unloved..."
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    If he doesn't want to meet, then what is the point?
    Tbh, "issues" sounds like a bit on an excuse.
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    How did you meet this guy online? Some random message in your inbox one day or something? Thing is, you need to consider safety, and if he says who he is. You need to make sure that you like him, and not the person he is protraying himself to be (if he is).

    I wouldn't say it's cheating, at all. If you're not in a relationship with this online guy, then there is no reason why you shouldn't be looking at anyone else. There's nothing wrong in this. I know a few people (including myself) who date a few people, just to see what's out there, compare who would be more suited, etc.
    Offline

    11
    ReputationRep:
    I say it isnt a relationship if it's not in real life. If you never get to see this online guy, how can it be real? You can't spend your life having online relationships with people you never meet. I suggest you ask to meet online guy (safely and in public) and to make the relationship real. If he keeps making excuses I would just stop contacting him. Any man who wants a proper relationship and is capable of carrying one will jump at the chance of holding his girl for real.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    please keep anon

    So I've met this guy online some months ago and have really fallen for him badly. I really like and love everything about him and he also turns me on like no man ever has before (honest, I was quite asexual before him). Problem? He's got quite a few issues and essentially doesn't want to meet.
    then what's the point? honestly stop 'torturing' yourself like that and focus on the actual human

    Is it cheating if I still continue my online romance and keep dating the real life guy?
    you're not in a relationship so no.. but you're not exactly being honest (to the real guy, the fake guy and yourself for that matter)
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    This guy probably feels insecure that you won't like him if you meet in real life.

    You have to assure him that you won't ever feel let down by him. That you really like him.

    Also, don't be too clingy. It's a turn off.
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    So the online guy is "perfect", yet doesn't want to meet up with you? :curious: If he cared for you as much as you seem to for him, wouldn't he want to meet you for real and make it official

    I think you should have a quick meet with online guy to see if he's worth it or not but you'd just be better off with the real life guy tbh.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    Don't waste your time on someone who doesn't want to meet up with you, you could be waiting a fair while and missing out on opportunities. Has he even said he wants to meet you and for something to develop? Imo it's not a relationship until you've met each other, people can be very different in person.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: March 29, 2011
Poll
How are you feeling in the run-up to Results Day 2018?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.