OP have you tried asking him to meet irl? what is the issue he has that makes him not want to meet online?
if he cares enough about you then he'll try to arrange something why don't you just ask outright if you don't get to meet each-other theres no point pursuing any kind of relationship and you'll date other people. Do that.
Oh yeah and how ong have you been talking to each other how did you know him because usually through the internet it's better to meet after a several months, not straight away..
in love with this guy online, but trying to date somebody else in real life Watch
Last edited by Casshern1456; 29-03-2011 at 12:49.
- 29-03-2011 12:47
- 29-03-2011 13:39
People online act differently to how they act in real life. They exaggerate. They don't have the same inhibitions. I know you've latched on to him, but perhaps you're creating you're ideal guy moreso in your head? He may be very different in real life.
And it seems he doesn't want to meet so... look for guys in real life.
- 29-03-2011 15:44
it's easy to think the online guy is Mr. Perfect, because behind a screen he can portray whatever he wants about himself.
whilst i dont think it's cheating, you are being dishonest with the guy youre dating irl and torturing yourself by keeping this infatuation going.
- 29-03-2011 16:14
I had a situation a bit like yours, in that I felt in love with a lad online (we had met akshally but not done anything) and like you he awoke me from a kind of 'asexuality' - I mean, I had sexual feelings before but compared to that they had been mere inklings. We were incredibly close (despite what nay-sayers think about Internet closeness) BUT online relationships do allow you to overlook/not see the person's bad points, and to define them to an extent as the person you want them to be (in accordance with what nay-sayers think about Internet closeness).
This guy could be perfect for you, but in reality it's unlikely. As for me, I think we would have been good together, but stuff happened, I started being drawn by flesh boyz, I'm sure the same happened with him, we parted on good terms. But I do think it was the sexual awakening he brought me that allowed me to have my first proper relatonship (irl). (Maybe it would be your case? )
In response to your question and in conclusion, I don't think it's bad/cheatng to go on a date(s) with the other lad to see what happens, whilst still liking the Internet guy. Like someone else said, give him a proper chance (not comparing him to the internet guy) and see what your heart (and loins) say. If there's potential, I think you'll have to let the online guy go to make a proper attempt with the real guy. Maintaining your feelings elsewhere beyond the beginning is dishonest and unfair. (If you can convince the online one to meet you, then by all means, do eet too, it might be beautiful, or else it might make you realised he isn't your one.)Last edited by kopi, ffs; 29-03-2011 at 16:15.
- 29-03-2011 16:48
The online guy doesn't wanna meet you ... you can't keep waiting/hoping he's going to change his mind.
(Original post by Anonymous)
- 29-03-2011 18:25
I've fallen for a guy with quite a few issues and who essentially doesn't want to meet
Don't waste your emotional energy on time wasting internet peoples, take it from one who knows
I once distanced myself from a partner (with whom things weren't going brilliantly - so the following was fairly unconnected, but still) and then hoped to take a relationship I'd had for many years with someone I knew online to the next level - ***** was a time waster of the worst kind though. This was one of the biggest mistakes of my life..
Give the online dude a chance, tell him you hold him above all others and want him to be a big part of your life but that it needs to become real if that's to happen. If he can't/won't you'll understand and would love to remain friends but will have no choice but to pursue your own happiness with another..
If he doesn't like that: too bad dickwad!Last edited by Foo.mp3; 29-03-2011 at 18:33.