Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

He was the love of my life watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I am so angry as when he lost all his savings before Christmas due to tax evasion I lent him money bought him food and tried to make him happy. He wasn't in the mood for sexual activity as he was depressed about the money. Soon as he repaid me my money he walked away. I never pressured him for the money back. I wonder now if he has met someone else.
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My boyfriend of 5 years finished with me last night. We have never had sex as I am a virgin and had an extreme fear of my first time. He was upset and did it by phone, that annoyed me though as its seems cowardly. I understand why he ended it, it is a long time to wait and be patient and he tried to make me relax but I always put it off. I went to counselling but it was only 10 sessions and cannot afford to go to Relate.

    It had got bad in the end where he no longer saw friends, was diagnosed with depression and his bedroom used to be immaculate and now it is as bad as How Clean Is Your House. I know all the signs were there and I feel bad I neglected him. It got to the stage where he was scared to touch me as the rejection made him repulse his self.

    I am upset as I love him so much but this stupid fear took over my life and ruined it. One day I want children so will have to overcome this. I don't know if I will get him back this time as we have ended it before but this time he said we need to find the right people. Please help.
    Damn, is this what a lack of action can do to you. I think you are a troll, firstly i do not know of anybody who would wait 5 years and still be loyal. He prolly got fed up of cheating behind your back and put you outta your misery by dumping you
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Tsukuyomi)
    Damn, is this what a lack of action can do to you. I think you are a troll, firstly i do not know of anybody who would wait 5 years and still be loyal. He prolly got fed up of cheating behind your back and put you outta your misery by dumping you
    I am not a troll, that's just wasting people's time. I would like to think he hasn't cheated but then is that believable. I honestly don't think he will come back
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Holy crap 5 years????

    Manz can't stand girls without action for 5 hours these days.

    Your bf is rated and he deserves to win Euromillions as a medal is too little me thinks.
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I am so angry as when he lost all his savings before Christmas due to tax evasion I lent him money bought him food and tried to make him happy. He wasn't in the mood for sexual activity as he was depressed about the money. Soon as he repaid me my money he walked away. I never pressured him for the money back. I wonder now if he has met someone else.
    So you're angry because you lent him money which he then paid back?
    Also - are you really in a position to be complaining about him not being in the mood for sexual activity?
    In addition, your last point is in no way relevant to the rest of your post. Wtf.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I am so angry as when he lost all his savings before Christmas due to tax evasion I lent him money bought him food and tried to make him happy. He wasn't in the mood for sexual activity as he was depressed about the money. Soon as he repaid me my money he walked away. I never pressured him for the money back. I wonder now if he has met someone else.
    I hope he did meet someone else, for his own good, you have no right to be angry
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I am angry as he has tried blaming it all on me and saying that I wasn't there for him when that isn't true. He wasn't there for me when I had problems at work and only realised when I told him after 3 weeks as he kept going on bout himself. It works both ways.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    wow i am 18 and had sex with most of my year lost my virginity at 14 now i really do feel a slut.
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    I'am now starting to think the depression is caused by you not letting him be a "man" guys would love to be close and intimate with their gf I think your fear of it hurting and therefor withholding sex is basically ruined him and now his feeling less of a man. It really isn't a good scenario who knows he maybe scarred for life to.:dontknow:
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by M&Ms)
    wow i am 18 and had sex with most of my year lost my virginity at 14 now i really do feel a slut.
    Lol, anyone else feel inclined/their duty to introduce OP's ex to this person?
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    Five years?!?! :lolwut: Hes a nutter, he should have left earlier! What I say to you is to find yourself an asexual man so this won't be an issue in future. Do your ex the biggest favour: don't contact him. Let him be happy elsewhere. After being that patient he deserves to find happiness with someone else.

    If you don't want to have sex, don't have sex. It's that simple. You are allowed to be asexual
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    The sad thing is you sound like you wanted to do it . I can't imagine not being able to just have sex, so that must have been really frustrating for you. However, I do, like everyone else, think sex is really, really important, so maybe you need to take some time out and try to deal with your own issues with it first. I don't know what to recommend...

    Just try to let loose. I was so nervous before my first time. PM me if you want to ask me anything or talk about it . I'll keep it a secret, obviously.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Today he posts on Facebook he is going abroad. This shocked me as he has never been on a plane and didn't want to go abroad when I asked. I rang him but he gave me mixed signals saying he cares and wishes it had worked out but that's it and move on. But he then says he needs to clear his head which is why he is going to Ukraine. I said I know I can't tell him what to do but don't want him to sleep with anyone. He said he won't sleep with anyone but I can't tell him what to do. Friends said is posting on Facebook for a reaction.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Today he posts on Facebook he is going abroad. This shocked me as he has never been on a plane and didn't want to go abroad when I asked. I rang him but he gave me mixed signals saying he cares and wishes it had worked out but that's it and move on. But he then says he needs to clear his head which is why he is going to Ukraine. I said I know I can't tell him what to do but don't want him to sleep with anyone. He said he won't sleep with anyone but I can't tell him what to do. Friends said is posting on Facebook for a reaction.
    You're an awful human being
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Today he posts on Facebook he is going abroad. This shocked me as he has never been on a plane and didn't want to go abroad when I asked. I rang him but he gave me mixed signals saying he cares and wishes it had worked out but that's it and move on. But he then says he needs to clear his head which is why he is going to Ukraine. I said I know I can't tell him what to do but don't want him to sleep with anyone. He said he won't sleep with anyone but I can't tell him what to do. Friends said is posting on Facebook for a reaction.
    What the actual F?

    You have the nerve to ask him not to sleep with anyone, despite you inducing a 5 year drought? If I was him, the first thing I would have done was look for a decent lay.

    I'm sorry, but 5 years? :eek: Sex isn't the only part of a relationship. But it's a natural and intimate part of it, and you blocked that entire part of it. Leave him be for his holiday. When he comes back, talk to him. Tell him how you feel, and that you are ready to do something with him. Tell him that you trust and love him, and it was only your own fears getting in the way. Say you're sorry for how the relationship went and that you don't blame him. Get back together and have a healthy, normal relationship.

    If you don't feel you can do any of the above, leave the poor guy alone. God knows you've already cost him enough in Kleenex.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    I do feel sorry for you but he was with you for 5 years - it must not have been easy for him to say goodbye, he just wants a more inimate relationship
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Holy **** 5 years? Are you joking? If you weren't gonna do it with him atleast let him have a prostitute or something man. I get waiting for marriage and all but to make you feel better since this one's for you..

    If he wouldn't wait it wasn't worth it?There are plenty of fish in the sea. It's about not catching a shark.
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Today he posts on Facebook he is going abroad. This shocked me as he has never been on a plane and didn't want to go abroad when I asked. I rang him but he gave me mixed signals saying he cares and wishes it had worked out but that's it and move on. But he then says he needs to clear his head which is why he is going to Ukraine. I said I know I can't tell him what to do but don't want him to sleep with anyone. He said he won't sleep with anyone but I can't tell him what to do. Friends said is posting on Facebook for a reaction.
    Why would you say that? :lolwut: It doesn't matter what YOU want here. The only person whose sex life you have any authority over is you. Whether he wants to have sex with nobody or fifteen people at one time is none of your business and it's awfully presumptuous of you to even express an opinion about it.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I accidently deleted him on Facebook then half hour later a girl adds him and puts she is in a relationship with him. I rang him and he was shocked about my past, I didn't go into detail but he said its too late and I should of trusted him and told him then. He said his new girlfriend was upset she saw our messages from before on Facebook and he wants to see how it goes with her. He told me don't get my hopes up, he will see how it goes with her but he still doesn't know what he wants and needs to clear his head. He said he won't sleep with her as he likes to wait when in a relationship. He thinks that he isn't sure if I am lying, but I don't see why I would lie about abuse. He said the day he gets back we can meet up and chat.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I'm in a similar situation and i'm giving it 6 more months max. Otherwise i'm gone.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: April 6, 2011
Poll
Do you agree with the PM's proposal to cut tuition fees for some courses?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.