What do I do? Advice needed

OK - there's this guy I've liked for over 4 months now - he's a year older than me, at the same school, and we're in an orchestra together which tours every year. He's really nice, and we get on really well. I don't think he has a girlfriend, but he has loads of girl mates who he's really close with. We speak quite often, and I often see him at parties etc, but don't have the nerve to say / do anything. I like him so much - what do I do???

Reply 1

Zerforax

21

Im going to go with the complex answer of *yawn* uh tell him? worst comes to it.. he'll atleast be flattered

Reply 2

kexy

16

lil_sweetie

OK - there's this guy I've liked for over 4 months now - he's a year older than me, at the same school, and we're in an orchestra together which tours every year. He's really nice, and we get on really well. I don't think he has a girlfriend, but he has loads of girl mates who he's really close with. We speak quite often, and I often see him at parties etc, but don't have the nerve to say / do anything. I like him so much - what do I do???

screw him, i doubt he'd complain :biggrin:

Reply 3

Zerforax

21

friendships are over-rated

Reply 4

beach surf babe

14

If you speak quite a lot then thats a good start cos at lesat you have some sort of relationship. Tell him and see what happens...

Good Luck :biggrin:

Reply 5

Tim Street

Its the classic fancy sum1 issue. The thing to do is tell him you like him, as it has a 70% success rate...and especially if you talk to him a lot, n he seems keen, if you say you like him then he'll think...wow! .......But in reality this never works...one is too paranoid about being rejected.

Reply 6

beach surf babe

14

I think you should just do what you think is the best option even if it may be the most painful one potentially!

Reply 7

w8wizz

2

ask him out, if he said no, then just say sorry i didnt mean u, i was asking the guy next to u.

Reply 8

lil_sweetie

OP

1

Interesting how mostof the guys who answered this think I should come right out and tell him, while the girls think I should be more subtle and work on a friendship first.

Reply 9

beach surf babe

14

If you work on the friendship there is more chance that you'll be able to take it further. If you just come outright and tell him then it might scare him off....

Reply 10

lil_sweetie

OP

1

It's hard to work on a friendship when we're in different years at school and don't have many friends in common though.

Reply 11

mademoiselle84

1

dont tell him!!! if he has no idea he will just be shocked and it will be embarrasing and awful esp as you have to see him quite often....only say something if you are SURE the feeling is mutual.
you need to do some serious flirting and see how he reacts first..i'm not talking about suffering in silence, i'm talking getting him to fancy you back without giving the game away too obviously!!

Reply 12

Ferrus

19

porter2002

screw him, i doubt he'd complain :biggrin:

Surely you mean let him screw you :wink:

Reply 13

CherryGarcia

1

u have nothing to lose anyway, so just tell him, if he doesnt like you, then evrth will be like it is now, thats all, (you will probably just feel a bit uncomfortable but it passes...) but if he likes you, then you will be going out probably, so dont miss your chnace..and anyway it is better to tell, coz if he doent like you you will forget him faster probably, and wont have any hopes..and will try to look at other guys...so, just do it, bebe =)

Reply 14

Tyler Durden

17

ferrus

Surely you mean let him screw you :wink:

Why? Women needn't be passive.

Anyway, I say you tell him. It's the only way you will know.

Reply 15

Dalimyr

17

Suffering in silence is horrible, and although I often do it myself, it is not something I'd suggest.
I usually get to know a girl first before asking her out...a golden rule of mine, mainly because I've had bad experience in the past from not doing that. However, if I can't do that, I'd try to find out the important details (such as if she does or does not have a boyfriend) and then probably try taking things further.
You appear to be in the latter category (being in different years, you're not in the same classes or anything like that). If you're confident enough that he doesn't have a girlfriend, what's the harm in asking him? You mentioned that he's got lots of female friends - from experience, they tend to be the sensitive, caring guys so really the worst he's likely to do is put you down gently (as opposed to what one girl did to me a few years ago - told me "In your dreams. **** off"...lovely, eh?). And I can vouch that asking someone out is not guaranteed to ruin a good friendship. I asked a girl out in mid-October, and she rejected me, but we're still very close friends and assuming she's not too hungover from tonight, I'll be going out for a drink with her tomorrow night :smile:

Reply 16

lil_sweetie

OP

1

the worst he's likely to do is put you down gently (as opposed to what one girl did to me a few years ago - told me "In your dreams. **** off"...lovely, eh?).

Oh how lovely!! Don't think I could face that kind of rejection!!

And I can vouch that asking someone out is not guaranteed to ruin a good friendship. I asked a girl out in mid-October, and she rejected me, but we're still very close friends and assuming she's not too hungover from tonight, I'll be going out for a drink with her tomorrow night

Hehe that's good to know - will give it a try, watch this space! Thanks guys xx

Reply 17

nonsenseandmischief

1

i voted for tell them but it is easier said than done, although i told my best boy mate i liked him and even tho he didn't feel the same we stayed friends

Reply 18

littlemissalex

13

i put down to suffer in silence because i made the worst mistake of telling the guy i like, that i like him.. and he turned me down and is hassling me now about this girl that he loves and wants my help in getting her.. its absolutely killing me, and i dont know if hes taking the piss out of me knowing i like him, or whether he genuinely needs help. So i wish i never told him.. ahh agony!!!

Reply 19

lil_sweetie

OP

1

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i put down to suffer in silence because i made the worst mistake of telling the guy i like, that i like him.. and he turned me down and is hassling me now about this girl that he loves and wants my help in getting her.. its absolutely killing me, and i dont know if hes taking the piss out of me knowing i like him, or whether he genuinely needs help. So i wish i never told him.. ahh agony!!!

Maybe he's just trying to show you you can still both be friends, by acting normally around you? although I agree, that's a pretty harsh thing to do if he knows you like him that much. But surely it's better knowing that he doesn't feel the same way so you can move on, and start to like other guys? gotta be better than not knowing.

What do I do? Advice needed

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