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I think you need to confront him about the lying. try to find out the reasons behind it. Lying about small things is a problem cos it makes you think, well, what else is he lying about? You should try and knock this on the head before it gets worse cos lies in relationships are never good!
Reply 2
L.J
And why is he lying?? I wouldn't have cared about most of the things, but now I do, because he's made them all so important.
With 1 and 2 I suspect he didn't know how you were going to react so covered his back by lying. A bit cowardly but then again arguably senisble if he was off the opinion it could jepodise the whole relationship.

As for 3 he's probabley just been told not to say anything and is defending a mate - I really wouldn't read too much into that one.

Some people do just lie loads about tiny things - being tiny things may to some people have the possiblity of getting out of hand. The porn thing for example, who knows where that could of gone? We all do to some extent, no one can fit into society with out lying to a degree (read Camus' "The Outsider) but it does not equate to being dishonest about the larger the things. The fact he covertly sent those e-mails however suggets he may be dishonest on a larger scale, in my humble opinion.
Reply 3
you should sit down and talk to him about it, or get one of his mates to have a word (not knowing you asked) then get them to report back to you and if he tells you different you know someone is defo lying!! (its abit imature but itll work)

or just ask him straight out and honestly the only thing you can do is talk to him, you shouldnt ask everything what he has been doing seeing oh whatever or he will think you don't trust him and that you are just checking up on him!! (that wouldn;t be good at all)

good luck with it, i hope it all works out for you

L
xx
To be honest it sounds quite a lot like my 1st serious relationship, I did a lot of stupid things then similar to what your bf is doing, how old are you/him? is it his 1st serious relationship? (it doesnt help you but if this is the case its probably why he does these things)

sometimes you lie because you think it will be better, you're scared of how the other person will react, and feel its best they dont know (but usually they do find out) but you cant exactly say to your girlfriend: "I have porn" or whatever, its just not done...

If he does care about you a lot he'll realise that he cant carry on lying to you (have you explained to him that you hate him lying?) and will try to change, it may take time though, these things become a habit...

If you think its worth it then tell him he has to try and change what he does, if its not, or you think that there are things that wont get any better, then its best to just leave the relationship...
Let us know how you get on! :smile:
Reply 6
Confront him?
Reply 7
Kill him and hide the evidence. Then kill a few more people. Don't want to get rusty.
Yeah good idea(!) :biggrin:
Reply 9
L.J stop being such a control freak. Someone needs to tell you that you are being really anal. Those are all white lies, in my opinion he should confront you about your issues.
Reply 10
That's a bit harsh. She's got reason to worry if she feels that it's something she should worry about. It's not anal at all! If you think there is a problem, I would confront him. He might just be telling lies to keep on your good side. Tell him you'd rather know the truth!
Reply 11
Tell him there's nothing to be ashamed of but if eh keeps lying to you things may get nasty between you two!
Reply 12
Poison Ivy
Tell him there's nothing to be ashamed of but if eh keeps lying to you things may get nasty between you two!


Leading to murder.
Reply 13
How do you mean?
Reply 14
Poison Ivy
How do you mean?


However she wants, I left the method wide open.
Reply 15
He sounds a bit insecure to me... like he feels he has to lie about stuff cos he's afraid what you might think and afraid of losing you...
Reply 16
L.J

When I confronted him, he cried. A lot. Then said life wasn't worth living. This made me even more angry; shouldn't I be the one who's upset?

Cripes! What did you say to the poor wee lamb?
:p:

A.
Reply 17
L.J
When I confronted him, he cried. A lot. Then said life wasn't worth living. This made me even more angry; shouldn't I be the one who's upset?
He sounds immensely clingly
Reply 18
ferrus
He sounds immensely clingly


I wish I had psychic powers :frown:
Reply 19
You don't need pyschic power to see what's really happening:

He thinks that his present state is best, for he could not get another girlfriend, at least not easily. He's desperate to keep it going. Hence why he lies about small things (because he is over cautious) and the reason he got so emotional: it means a big deal to him. The fact hes so desperate to keep it going is kind of clingy.